Page 42 of Unspoken Confessions
“Okay, Nickie Boy. Take a pill and calm the fuck down.” Jen’s tone was stern and it shut Nick right the fuck up. I wanted to laugh, but I held it back. “First, I know you’re freaked out, but don’t treat me like I don’t care about your safety. And second, I had my own background check done.”
Nick let out a long sigh and walked over to the couch. He flopped down looking utterly worn out.
“I can’t…” Nick started as he brought his fingers up to rub his temples. “I don’t even know anymore. I trust you, Jen. I’m sorry I was a dick.”
“Apology accepted.”
“So my father had nothing to do with it?”
“Not a single fucking thing, I promise you. I haven’t even told him about the letters.”
“Thank you,” Nick said sounding defeated.
“For what it’s worth, I think it’s all blown over now. There hasn’t been anything in weeks.”
I looked over at Jen. He believed his words as much as I did. Which wasn’t at all.
“Can you just leave, please? I need some time alone,” Nick said sounding small. His tone was that of someone broken and thought the thing he needed most was space. But I didn’t think that was the best for him. I certainly wasn’t thrilled about him being alone. There was too much, between the stupid images that threatened to blow his secret right out of the water, his father showing up and that whole shit-show, and now he’d been filled in on everything we’d been keeping from him. Yeah, everything he’d just went through was about to come crashing down on him. But what the fuck was I supposed to do?
I looked over at Austin and tilted my head. With a slight nod, he turned and left.
Jen’s eyes sought out mine. He pleaded with me, but I wasn’t sure what he wanted me to do here.
I should have left. I should have shrugged and given Nick what he’d asked for. But I couldn’t. My feet wouldn’t move and something inside of me told me not to leave him alone right now.
I closed my eyes and calmly blew out a breath. Then I told Jen I’d keep watch over Nick, without words, of course. He must have understood because he took one last, sad look at Nick before he headed out the door, shutting it behind him.
When Nick noticed that I hadn’t left, he let out a humorless laugh and shook his head.
“I’m fine,” he told me but I did not fucking believe that shit. I stood there waiting for whatever was next. I imagined he was pissed and scared. The former would be the one that came out though. And since I was the only one around, I’d get the brunt of it. “What, used your quota of words up for the year?”
His tone was sharp and full of venom.
There wasn’t a damn thing I could say to make the situation any different. So there was no point in me saying anything.
“You should just go,” he told me. “There’s not a single thing you can do for me. Unless you can look me in the eyes and tell me that I have nothing to worry about.”
Well, I couldn’t do that. But I sure as hell wasn’t leaving.
I walked over and sat on the couch beside him.
I had to be close and I didn’t question it.
The damn thing was small and my hip was pressed up against his. Neither of us tried to shift away though.
I let out a long, slow breath and willed him to look at me instead of the floor.
When he finally did, something cracked inside of me. This was a big crack, one I knew I wouldn’t be coming back from. I couldn’t hold myself together anymore. The timing, yeah, it sucked. And not to mention the fact that Nick was clearly not in a place to accept everything I wanted to give to him. But that wasn’t important right now.
“I think…” He sighed. “No, IknowI did this for all the wrong reasons.” He let out a sharp laugh. “I mean, I wasn’t even good at it at first. You should have seen me. I was so awkward and stumbled over all my lines. I couldn’t even get a callback.”
I rested my hand on his leg in hopes of giving him some comfort and to let him know I was listening.
“I was eleven and it was a commercial for a local dentist office. That was my first audition. But everyone has to start somewhere, right? The thing of it though, not me. If I had just used my father’s name, I would have been handed something big. But I didn’t want that, even though he was the reason I did it in the first place.”
His leg suddenly tensed under my touch and I knew he was going to shoot up a second before he did it. He started pacing, his hand raking through his hair.
“She… she just left us. There was no warning, you know. One day, she was there making me peanut butter and jelly sandwiches always with the crust cut off even though I never asked for it, and the next day, she was dead. I was nine. I sort of had a grasp on what it meant to be dead, but not really.”
