Page 30 of Unexpectedly Wanted
I looked up to find him studying me now. There was this small up curl at the corners of his mouth that could almost be a smile.
“Is that too picky and complicated? My mother always said I was too particular when we went to restaurants. She always made sure that I knew I had to choose one thing on the menu and eat what came with it.”
“If you want the salmon with the pimento mac and cheese and asparagus with truffle shit on the side, then you will get just that,” he promised me, the corners of his mouth curling up even more.
I wanted to know what that little smile meant.
Which made me suddenly realize that I wanted to know Remy.
I wanted to know what his different mouth movements meant. I wanted to know him so well that I wouldn’t have to question the look in his eyes. I wanted to be able to look at him and feel one hundred percent sure that he wasn’t laughingatme.
Because I was starting to suspect that Remy had never been laughingatme.
Instead, it’d been a private joke that I was in on… I just hadn’t been aware that I was.
11
Remy
Despite his parents being there, dinner hadn’t been so bad.
Okay, it wasn’t great.
I honestly hadn’t cared if we pulled off being a couple or not. I was at the point that what his parents thought about us meant very little to me, and I was determined to make Milo see the same thing by the time this was done. I was going to show him that he shouldn’t let people beat him down and roll over him when he tried to stand up for himself.
Milo.
That was all that mattered to me.
Lorna had tried to bring up a few things that made Milo uncomfortable, and I’d been right there to abruptly and blatantly change the subject.
So, yeah, I might have been the world’s biggest asshole when I saw his mother glaring at him with an odd tilt in her head when it was time to order. I might have gone overboard and ordered for him, smiling wide the whole time, and saying how I loved that he got all the good stuff because he’d always let me have a bite or two. But when his body relaxed like he’d been relieved that I’d taken over, I knew I’d done the right thing. I got the salad, since we’d ended up eating half of the loaf of bread we’d made just a couple of hours before. It had turned out pretty good. Milo had only over-kneaded it a little bit, but he seemed to be enjoying himself, so I hadn’t wanted to stop him.
The one good thing, I got to sit next to Milo. I found myself reaching for him quite a few times throughout the meal, and some of those weren’t because I felt this need to play the fake boyfriend well. I wanted to touch him. Like placing my hand on his leg when I got the sense that his mother’s cutting remarks were close to making him snap. Or laying my arm over the back of his chair when he started to tense up. And sometimes it wasn’t even about touching. Like the soft smiles I sent him whenever I would turn my head and catch his eye.
At one point, I’d had this thought about how I wished it had just been him and I sitting at that table. I almost laughed at the thought of how awkward and adorable Milo would be on a date. And if I ever wanted to take him on a date, it would probably be best if I didn’t let him know we were on one.
Which led me to this moment hours later.
There I was, standing in the bedroom while he showered, thinking about everything Milo.
I was starting to want things that I couldn’t have. Milo might tolerate me now, but I was sure he’d never completely like me. He’d never have those types of feelings toward me. So I needed to stop the ones I was developing before I got too far down the rabbit hole to escape being hurt.
I wondered if I was already that far gone.
He was a little odd, but the more I was around him, the more I found his quirky, straightforward way absolutely charming. He was so unlike anyone I’d ever known, and I found myself starting to love it. If I let myself keep going with this pretend fake boyfriend thing, I’d begin to see what it was like if it were real. And I’d start to wish it could be.
Heading for the closet, I made a decision. One that might end up hurting him, but I hoped it would give him courage instead. Courage to stand up for himself and not let his mother drag him down anymore, even though I didn’t really believe in this sixth sense thing that he talked about.
Yeah, and maybe I needed some space too.
I dug the weighted blanket out from the depths of the closet where I’d seen him shove it. Then I walked over to the bed and spread it out over his side, making sure to smooth out as many wrinkles as I could, though there weren’t many.
My eyes seemed to stay locked on that stupid blanket as I went around to the other side of the bed. My mind gave me whiplash as it told me I was doing the right thing, then it was yelling at me that I was an idiot and messing everything up.
Even as I shed my pants and shirt, I continued to stare at the blanket. Finally, I turned my back to it as I sat on the edge of the bed to remove my prosthesis.
After I was done, I sat there blinking, looking at my hands as I got lost in thought.
