Page 10 of A Wrench in the Plan
So, I suppose, it was right that LT didn’t trust me to go back in there. One look at that fucker and I knew I’d lose my shit. There’d be no stopping me. Hell, I probably wouldn’t even be able to stop myself.
That was one of the good things about LT, you always knew where you stood with him. If he didn’t like something you were doing and thought it would harm the club, he’d say something. He’d put his foot down. If he didn’t trust you in a situation, he’d flat-out tell you. Those kinda things made you pause. Maybe even take a step back and rethink things.
Well, usually they did. Here I was, falling further into a weird fucking mood because all I wanted was to end that fucker. Which didn’t help, ’cause those thoughts just made me fall further. This wasn’t like me. I’d never felt rage like this in my life. And the fact that I couldn’t let it go was fuckin’ me up even more.
Family protects family.
Maybe it was the fact that I felt like I’d been failing Sparrow a good chunk of her life. That I’d been part of the problem since I hadn’t seen that my best friend was in love with her, or that she was in love with him. That led to a lifetime of miscommunication and assumptions— mostly on Trav’s part, but still. Then when she came back, she was spilling family secrets that nearly destroyed the beautiful thing that Mom and Dad had. I might have forgiven them, but I hadn’t just let that shit go. I couldn’t. It was possible that the anger I felt over what my mom had to go through when she got pregnant with me was fueling the fire, and this Baby fucker— stupid fuckin’ road name, even if he got it because he was thebabybrother of the VP— was just an excuse to let it burn inside of me.
I guessed it was only right that all of this was starting to get to me. At least I knew I hadn’t turned into a psychopath, I still had some kind of feelings and thoughts. I knew better, but I was still letting it blow up my emotions.
“You gonna be alright staying behind?” LT asked, sneaking up behind me. Good thing I was standing there blindly staring down at the engine in front of me and not deep in it with my head under the hood. That could have ended badly.
“Yeah,” I grunted.
Was I alright with it? No. But I wasn’t about to go up against my Prez, especially when I felt like I was walking around on thin ice.
I needed out. Needed to ride. Needed to help my club. The trip down to South Carolina would have been exactly the thing to settle me right now. But I wasn’t going. Just like I wasn’t getting my chance with Baby. Yeah, that shit had kept my bad mood rollin’. At least Trav had to stay behind too.
“Need you here,” he said as his hand slapped down on my shoulder. I was sure he meant it to be comforting, but it just pissed me off.
“I know,” I told him, doing my best to bite back the aggravation that was washing over me.
“Do you think much about the future?” he asked, and the question was so unexpected that all I could do was blink at him. He chuckled and crossed his arms over his chest. “I mean, where do you see yourself?”
“I…” My words trailed off. Truth was, I didn’t really think about the future. All I’d ever wanted growing up was to ride and get my patch. I’d looked up to Iron, both as the president of this club at the time and as an elder. He was like a wise grandpa you respected and wanted to be as cool as. I knew LT looked up to Iron too, and it was the highest honor for him when Iron turned the table over to him.
Hell, earning a patch was an honor for me, but when LT came to me and said he wanted me at the table, it was… something I didn’t have words for.
And that was all. That was the only thing I’d ever wanted in life. Everything else was just extra, I suppose.
“I’m not sure why you’re asking,” I finally came back with.
He shrugged. Which I wasn’t fooled by. LT wasn’t one to ask random fucking questions for no fucking reason.
“I mean, I guess I do. Suppose I wouldn’t mind finding someone who gets the club life that I could settle down with,” I said dumbly.
He stared at me with a look I didn’t understand. So I kept going, mostly ’cause I was freaking out.
“Kids would be cool, I think?”
“You think?” he asked flatly.
“I mean, sure. I like kids. Mom and Dad would probably love to be grandparents, and I don’t really see Sparrow jumping on that one any time soon.” I paused. Thinking about Row as a mom was like watching a car crash. “Or ever,” I muttered, hoping that would be the case.
I loved my sister, but if she had a kid, it would be best if Trav was the one to stay home and raise it. Actually, now that I thought that, I could really see that working out for the two of them that way. Trav would make an amazing dad. I probably shouldn’t say it, but it was a shame he was in love with Sparrow. I really couldn’t see what the two of them had in common. But sometimes things just worked like that.
“Well, I was mainly asking about the club and where you saw yourself in the future here, but it seems you have a bunch of other things you need to work out,” he said with humor ringing in his tone.
“Oh! No. Yeah. I mean, I’m happy with my position at the table and working here at the garage. I’m always up for whatever you want to give me, you know. And if you need more from me, all you gotta do is say the word.” I was rambling and sounded way too eager.
“You’d want more?” he asked.
“Yeah! I’m in it for life. I wanna be just like my dad and help lead this club to whatever is next. Be at the front of the line protecting my brothers.”
He smiled at me. Those were rare from him.
I wouldn’t call LT grumpy, but he was serious most of the time. He did have a whole club restin’ on his shoulders, so it made sense.
