Page 70 of A Wrench in the Plan
“Actually, no,” I said. “The thought never crossed my mind. Probably because I had no idea how you felt about him.” I licked my lips nervously. “Um, Chry, where is your head at? I think I need to know that before I say anything else.”
He slid from the bed and started pacing again.
“I’m not good at this shit, but I’ll try,” he said. Cat sat up, ready to hang on to every word he was about to spill. “I’ve messed so many things up. I don’t…” He stopped and shook his head. “I walk around with this voice in my head that tells me that I’m never going to be good enough for anyone.”
Cat gasped as she turned her head in my direction. We shared a look that said neither of us had any clue about this.
Maybe we were about to get the key to Chry’s head. Maybe we’d finally have the map on how to get in.
“I have no idea where it came from…” he went on, “or why I can’t seem to ignore it. So I keep things from ever getting too deep, too serious. If I don’t get close enough to disappoint someone, then they can’t hurt me or leave me.” He finally lifted his gaze and pinned me with sad eyes as he took a seat on the edge of the mattress. “I love you. I do. It took me a long time to realize what it was, but I know now. I think it’s ’cause I’ve always told myself not to love anyone, so I didn’t see it for what it was.”
My hand cupped his cheek, thumb stroking over his scruff.
“And you, Cat…” He smiled at her. A true, raw, real smile. “You’ve always been my light. It never failed that when I was having a bad day you’d show up. You’d be there. I’d see you and the world wouldn’t feel so bad. I had no idea at the time, maybe because I ignored that too, but looking back, I see it now. I’ve always been drawn to you, even when I told myself I had to stay away.”
“I-I,” Cat said, seeming like she couldn’t form words. Her eyes were filling with tears, but they hadn’t spilled over yet.
“The fucked up thing,” Chry said as if he didn’t even know she had been trying to speak. It was clear he needed to get this all out. He was on his feet again, this time his steps were almost angry. His fist clenched, knuckles going white, before he shook his hands out and tried to quell the fury. “When I heard that fucker say that stuff… you know, about you being in love with me and saving yourself for me, I kind of went blank. Then something inside of me snapped, and I lost it. When he put his hands on you, I wanted to kill him. I still want to kill him, and I will.”
Cat gasped, leaving me to wonder if she had been left in the dark about the fact that Dustin was still out there.
“If it’s the last thing I do, I’ll take his life for touching you,” Chry vowed. “I’ve never felt that strongly about something before. And after Row bitched me out, with good reason, all I could think about was taking that pain away for you. Taking that memory away. Or, like, giving you a new one.”
“What do you mean?” Cat asked tentatively.
Chry crawled on the bed, getting right in her space. Her mouth fell open. Her eyes went wide. Her breath seemed to become trapped in her chest.
“I want to touch every place he did,” he growled. And though it wasn’t aimed at me, I felt a hot tingle shoot down my spine. “I want to wipe away every mark he put on you. I have this need inside to give you everything you’ve ever wanted. To be the one that gives you that special moment, and claim that memory in your head forever. I want to be the only one you let inside of you. The only one you ever let touch you.”
He let out a heavy sigh as he pulled himself out of her bubble. He sat on the edge of the bed, eyes downcast like he was ashamed of his thoughts. Or maybe he was worried he’d scared her.
“The things I want to do you…” His jaw clenched as he shook his head violently.
“What?” she asked, leaning forward and placing her hand on his arm.
He shot her a look out of the corner of his eye that said he really shouldn’t say what was in his head.
I had a pretty good idea, but I wasn’t getting in the middle of this. Cat needed to understand how Chry’s head worked when it came to these things. And Chry needed to see that she wasn’t going to run once she did find out. Oh, yeah, I knew she wouldn’t. In fact, I had a feeling that if she let herself open up, she’d realize a lot of new things about herself.
As weird as it might have been, I was glad I was here to witness this. It also made me feel special in a way that I’d never felt before. Sure, this part of the conversation was between the two of them, yet somehow, I felt like it was important to them that I was a part of it.
“Tell me,” she said softly.
“I shouldn’t,” he shot back.
“Tell her,” I urged. “Trust in her feelings for you enough to be honest. If you can’t… then this will never work.”
“He’s right,” she said, reaching her hand out and tangling her fingers with mine like she was turning us into a united front. It was really adorable, and I loved her a little more for it.
“I want to fuck you,” Chry said, turning his dark gaze on her. “I want to break you in and make you mine. I want to come inside of you as you’re screaming my name. Mine! Not anyone else’s. I want to tear you apart, and then put you back together again. Over and over again. Until you’ve surrendered to me. Until you’ve been consumed by me.”
I’ve seen hints at this side of him. Part of me had always wished he’d fucking release it. Now I was starting to see that I wasn’t the one he needed to release it with. No, he needed something else from me. Which also made me realize that there was a balance here between the three of us, something he couldn’t get with just one of us.
In turn, that made me see more. Made the picture open up wider. Chry wasn’t the only one that needed more here, needed another part.
Cat was my other half, for lack of a better saying. She was my soul sister. I had a connection with her that I’d never had with anyone else. When I say my life wouldn’t be right without her in it, that was one hundred percent true. Maybe Cat felt the same. After all, it was me that she ran to tonight. It was me that she came to comfort.
Her breath hitched, telling me that she wasn’t put off by this side of Chry.
