Page 9 of A Wrench in the Plan
“He’s been… off since, uh, I came back.” I shook my head at him as I sent him a ridiculous smile. He was so awkward talking in code. “One minute he’s clingy, and the next, it’s like he wants to be left alone.”
“He can be moody. We already knew this.” I rolled my eyes.
“Yeah,” he said, sounding much like he was trying to believe that was all it was. “And I suppose things have been a bit crazy.”
He looked like he was going to say something else, his mouth stayed parted for a few seconds, but then he snapped it shut and shook his head.
Sometimes I would push, but I had a feeling that now was one of those times I should let it go.
“What about you?” he asked suddenly. “How are you after… you know…”
“The break-up,” I said, owning it.
Yep, so I had a boyfriend for all of like three months. And yes, I was the one that broke it off with him because, well, I had to be truly honest with myself, I couldn’t love him. I might have started dating him because I’d convinced myself that I could— and was ready— to move on from Chry, but the fact was that I just wasn’t there yet. It was annoying as much as it was stupid. I was well aware of this. While Dustin, with his nice pants and wrinkle-free shirts, had been charming and sweet, there wasn’t a part of me that was really feeling it. There was no spark there at all. The time was coming to take it to the next level. Honestly, I was surprised he’d let me put it off as long as I had. But my virginity wasn’t something I wanted to just give away. I did want it to be special. I wanted it to mean something. And I didn’t care how silly or immature or naïve it sounded, it was what mattered to me.
Sparrow had once told me that I had to make it special. That there wasn’t some magical prince that would come along and create this perfect moment for me. I totally didn’t think that there was, I wasn’tthatnaïve. But I did think she was on to something. I’d kept that in the back of my mind, and maybe that had helped push me into breaking up with him. Because deep down, I knew that nothing I could do would make it special with Dustin. The feelings simply weren’t there, and that was the most important thing to me.
“Yeah, that,” Evan said, eyes wide like he couldn’t believe I was being so nonchalant about the break-up.
He knew it had been my first real relationship. He also knew that it was my idea to end it.
“I’m fine. Truly,” I told him. “I mean, I don’t feel great about it. It just… it is what it is. I’ll find someone that fits me more one day.”
If I didn’t stop, I would reveal things that I’d been trying very hard to mask from Evan.
No, I didn’t like hiding things from him, but I had to. From the moment Chry and Evan entered each other’s orbit— thanks to me, by the way— I knew there was something there. Who was I to stand in the way of explosive chemistry like that? They just seemed to fit into each other’s lives so easily. Effortlessly. Which was what I always dreamed of for myself. That was when it became clear that Chry was not meant for me… or rather, I was not meant for Chry. So I mustered up all my strength and power, and tried to hide all of my feelings for Chry. It’s been exhausting, which might have been another reason why I dated Dustin.
Ugh, I did not want to think about any of this stuff anymore right now.
“Hey, let’s go out this weekend. We can have a low-key drinking night at that martini bar I was telling you about.” I put on my brightest smile in hopes of getting him to say yes.
“Martinis? Really?” His face said he was not feeling that idea.
“What? I want to go and it’s not really Sparrow’s type of place. And I don’t want to go with my mom.” I could have asked Fate, but she was still kind of in that honeymoon phase with Grass, and I felt bad taking her time when I knew they had a lot to make up for.
He snorted.
“It’s not really my kinda place either,” he pointed out. “Just because I’m—”
“Don’t you dare say it,” I snapped playfully. “This has nothing to do with your sexuality and stereotyping. This has to do with the fact that you’re my best friend, which gives me the right to torture you when I don’t want to do things alone.”
“Fair enough,” he said with a laugh. “I’m in. But we have to get nachos and beer first.”
“Deal.”
CHAPTER FOUR
Wrench
I was in a real pissy mood and couldn’t seem to shake it. I wasn’t even sure I gave a fuck at this point. It had gotten so bad that people were clearing the room whenever I walked in.
It didn’t help that LT wouldn’t let me kill that piece of shit prospect mole. And here it was, four days later and he was still breathin’.
I’d been able to get a few licks in that first night, along with everyone else, but that had been all. Sketch and B-ry had spent some time with him since, or so I’d heard. LT had been putting me off any time I went to him about going in there, and I was ready to snap.
I kept telling myself that I had to trust my Prez. Had to have faith that he had a plan in his head. But it didn’t help that he was locking me out of the whole thing. Tellin’ me that he didn’t trust that I wouldn’t do something stupid.
Sure, he was right. I was ready to go in there and carve out little chunks of flesh and meat and feed them to the alligators in the lake. Leave him in that box bleedin’ out until he felt death breathing against the back of his neck.
