Page 46 of Clued in to Love
“Yeah.” She blew on the tea. “Tell me the truth: He’s not into me, is he?”
“Honestly, I don’t know, Liv. He’s a weird dude. He doesn’t say much to me, either. I think he’s a loner. When I asked him about being on the team, I was shocked when he showed up, so I don’t know, maybe there’s something there.”
Olivia appreciated that Hugo was trying to make her feel better. She knew the truth—Malik was out of her league. She changed the subject. “So tell me about your mystery crush. Cass said that you have a plan to ask her out?”
Hugo choked on the turnover. He coughed and pounded his hand on his chest. Then he jumped up. “Sorry, I gotta go grab a drink of water. Be back in a second.”
Olivia watched him disappear into the ballroom. They had told each other everything for as long as she could remember, except for this. Hugo had told Cass all about his crush, but he’d left Olivia out of the loop. Was it her? Was she being too demanding?
She knew she tended to over-organize. Was it too much—Project Candy Cane, schoolwork, this?
Was she pushing her friends away in the process?
As much as she wanted—needed—to win the cash, she also wanted to have fun. This was their last year together. Who knew where they’d end up after graduation? She, Hugo, and Cass had been inseparable through middle and high school, but she could feel that shifting. Their friendship was starting to fragment, andPassport to the Holidays might be one of the last experiences they shared together.
She needed to forget about Malik and focus on her friends. This was their senior year, after all, and she couldn’t let her obsession about someone who barely acknowledged her existence ruin the holidays.
TWENTY-EIGHT
DARBY
The Santa breakfast was a new addition to Passport to the Holidays. Jim would have loved a holiday brunch, Darby thought as she drove to the hotel. The five-story brick building was decked out in swags of evergreen and silver balls. Samesh had talked her into coming the night before. He seemed to have that effect on her. She found herself agreeing before she had had time to think it through, but all she’d been doing since their romantic Italian dinner was think.
Think and panic and think some more.
His confession had taken her by complete surprise. She wasn’t sure he had made the right choice then, but it did explain why he’d left in such a rush all those years ago.
She still believed that he could have reached out. He could have risked hurting her feelings. He could have taken a risk—any risk.
But that was the past. Things had changed. She had changed. She had lived an entire life without him. They were completely different people from who they had been decades ago. Where would they even start?
And then there was the question she had wrestled with for most of the night—was she even ready to consider datingagain? Could she? Her mind refused to slow down. It hadn’t since she left the restaurant. None of the breathing or centering techniques she used with her students had worked when she’d been wide awake at two o’clock in the morning, staring at the ceiling with her heart racing, and wondering if she was willing to seriously consider the thought of moving on. It had been impossible to think of a life with someone who wasn’t Jim. It hadn’t even been on her radar. There was no one, not even the Channel 8 weather guy, who had made her this buzzy and slightly out of control. She wasn’t sure she liked it.
The spark with Samesh was undeniable. He put her at ease and made her feel comfortable. Talking with him again made her feel like no time had passed. They had been able to pick up where they had left off decades ago. But was it enough? She wasn’t ready to date yet. It was too soon.
The mere thought of opening her heart, knowing that it was already fractured, sent a wave of nausea rolling through her stomach.
She had said some of this to Samesh when they had lingered, sipping coffee and letting their desserts sit untouched. Most of it she kept to herself. Hence why her sleep had been restless last night; she had finally given up a little before five and gone down to the kitchen to make a cup of chamomile tea and leaf through old photo albums of her college days.
Reminiscing brought her no clarity.
It was flattering to hear that he wanted to see if there was a chance of rekindling the spark they’d once had. He had been thoughtful and respectful about her grief. He was living with loss, too. It was one of the reasons he was convinced that their situation felt like it had been destined in the stars.
She could almost imagine Jim scripting out her next love story from the heavens. Was it fate that had brought her and Samesh together again?
It was too much pressure. Too much to consider. Honestly, she wasn’t even sure what had compelled her to come to breakfast. Hopefully, she wouldn’t regret it.
Darby pulled into a parking space across the street from the hotel.
She smiled, seeing gleeful children dressed in holiday sweaters skipping into the lobby to meet the big man with the red bag.
Darby’s steps were more measured, calculated, intentional. This wasn’t a time for spontaneity or rash decisions. She pressed her hand to her stomach, trying to quiet the swirl of nerves.
Inside, the hotel lobby looked like a scene from a movie. Two twenty-foot Christmas trees flanked the entrance. Music played overhead, and the smell of pine and cinnamon enveloped her. Silver and gold ornaments dangled from the dazzling chandeliers, and hotel staff were dressed in festive red and green.
“Good morning, Mrs. Reynolds,” a familiar voice greeted her.
“Olivia, what are you doing here?” Darby asked, turning to see her star student seated at the welcome table.
