Page 82 of This I Know
I take Julia’s arm. I pull her as though I don’t have a care in the world for what’s she thinking right now, because I don’t – the only thing I care about is Avery, and the possibility of her seeing all this out of the corner of her eye. That’s what’s fueling the irritation inside me. We arrive in a hallway, one of the offshoots of the cafeteria, and when I turn to face her she’s smiling at me.
“What are you doing?” I ask. There’s force behind my voice. Good. I hope she gets that I’m less than happy with her right now.
“What do you mean?”
I see. She’s playing Forgetful Good Girl. That’s a new one. Her arsenal must be running low.
“You know what I mean.” I step closer, doing my best to intimidate. I’m pretty bad at it. “Now stop. Stop doing what you’re doing.”
She crosses her arms. “What am I doing, Ethan?” She takes a step forward, too, invading my space. “Huh? Tell me.”
There’s an anger in her I’ve never seen before, but I don’t blame her. Girls like Julia weren’t raised to handle rejection well. I should have known it wouldn’t be as simple asleave us alone.“You know exactly what you’re doing, Julia. You’re getting in the way, and don’t think I don’t know why.”
“All I did was say hi.” She raises her eyebrows. “I’m not allowed to say hi?”
I should just walk away. After what she said about Avery, and how she acted at the party the other night, Julia doesn’t deserve anything from me. And I really don’t feel like explaining myself again.
So just like that, I do something bold, something I should have done the last time we had a conversation like this, before unknowingly giving her the chance to do it to me first. I walk away. I leave her standing in the hallway, all alone, and I hope that maybe she’s getting a glimpse of what Avery’s gone through – some cold, hard abandonment, with a little rejection thrown in for good measure.
I don’t regret a single step as I expand the distance further and further between us. All that stands out to me are those two nasty words that left her mouth:cripple girl. That’s it. None of the once-kind, friendly girl who I met my first day here, but who quickly morphed into something else entirely once meeting someone named Cole. That girl’s not there anymore.
Avery
I thought I saw him escape quickly into the hallway to my right. That must have been him, the streak of tall build and the ever-messy hair. He was towing Julia Crane behind him.
I see him come back because I’ve been waiting for him. And as soon as he appears, my body reacts the usual way it does whenever I see him – that flurry of heart flutters.
“Avery. What are you doing?” Mara’s watching me from across the table.
I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m letting my body take control for once. Though we haven’t talked since last night, I’m getting up, lifting my legs over the bench seat, and I’m walking over to him. My shoulders are back, my spine is straight, and I’ve completely brushed Mara off. I don’t know what’s come over me, but it might have something to do with the remembrance of what it felt like to be so close to him and the craving to experience it again.
I reach him at the same time that he reaches me. I barely have the chance to say, “Hey,” before he takes me by the hand. The feel of his warm fingers meeting mine sends a chill over my arm and down my sides, and before I know it, he’s leading me away, in the opposite direction of Julia. I glance back over my shoulder. Mara’s still sitting at the table, watching me with that expression of shock and thrill. I smile and shrug at her.
Ethan pushes through a door and suddenly we’re outside the school, in the bright, sunny air of the parking lot. I look around. We’re not supposed to be here.
He stops and turns to me, his face full of purpose. “If she tries anything with you, I want you to tell me.”
Who, Julia? That little stick figure? I knit my brow. “Like what?”
“Anything. Just promise you’ll tell me.”
I want to laugh, but I hold myself back. “What’s with the drama?”
He takes both my arms, as though he wants to shake the message into me. “Avery, please take this seriously. I don’t want to see you hurt again.”
I let him hold me. I shrink into his grip and look up into his eyes. “You’re the first person to say that to me.”
“To say what?”
“That you don’t want to see me hurt again.”
He looks hurt just hearing that. “Well, it’s true.”
We can’t be out here much longer without getting in trouble. I lean in and wrap my arms around him. His body is large and dense with muscle, and I gently dig my fingers into the back of his shirt. This is the closest we’ve ever been, and everything about it feels so right. But the best part is that the way he’s hugging me back tells me he feels the same.
In the middle of our hug, I hear someone walk past the other side of the closed door, and a shadow approaches. I pull away from Ethan. But the figure passes and we’re alone once again.
“We’ve got to get in,” I tell him. I hold out my hand. I wish we had more time, but I think the bell is about to ring.
