Page 128 of Holiday on the Rocks
I heard him walking toward me.
“Stop right there. If you aren't supporting my prayers right now, you go.”
“Allie—”
“He is the only man I've ever loved. The only man I will ever love. If you're not for us, you're against us, and I want you gone right now.”
“You can't be?—”
I turned to my brother. “I can be whatever the fuck I want to be. You either support me or get the hell out.” I wiped my face. “I have a minister from the church in town coming here and if he opens his eyes for even a minute, there will be a wedding. If he doesn’t, there will be a commitment ceremony. Do you understand me?” The back of my eyes burned. “I will be his wife when he dies.”
The girls wanted to stay with me but when it got late, I insisted they go back to the house. I wanted to be alone. As soon as they were gone, I pulled the little loveseat over next to the bed, as close as possible.
I held his hand and stared into his face. I loved him so much it put an ache deep in my soul. As I prayed, it seemed every sound including my own blinking eyes was magnified.
The beeps of the machines were like a ticking time bomb, and the monotonous drip of the IV bag and even the quiet swish of the nurses’ scrubs as they pass by his room were almost painful to my ears.
The dim fluorescent bulb across the room was too harsh, with the light bouncing off the polished sterile metal equipment causing my eyes to be jumpy and unable to settle in one place.
I gulped air still trying to process all the fucking things that had gone wrong as worry seemed to have clawed through my ribs and was now attacking me from the inside out. Everything was on a tilt and my senses were overwhelmed. The place I sat was cold, yet my skin clamy, and my clothes scratchy.
My heart was bathing in sorrow realizing how close we were. So fucking close. We almost had it all; almost.
I don’t know how long I was sleeping, but it was still dark when I opened my eyes. My chest tightened at the sight of my mother sitting next to me on the sofa. Her auburn hair was pushed behind her ear as she sat with her hands folded, and eyes closed.
“Mom.”
My vision blurred as she hugged me and peppered my face with kisses.
“If you’re here to do anything?—”
Her voice was almost a whisper. “I’m here because I heard there’s going to be a Christmas wedding.”
She held me in her arms.
“Dad and I took the red eye. We wouldn’t miss it. And I knew you’d need this.” She reached into her purse and pulled out a black velvet box she handed to me.
I lifted the lid and my heart sputtered at the sight of the gold ring. The wedding band Levi had picked out for me at the pawn shop just outside of Vegas.
“I’ve known you hid it in the back of the dresser in your old room for years.” She sniffed.
Hot tears streamed down my face. “It’s not fair.”
She pulled me to her. “I know it’s not.”
“He’s all I’ve ever wanted, and there were years of wasted time. Years I should’ve been with him. I should’ve gone and found him. I should’ve done it all differently.”
She pulled back and cupped my face in her hands. “I’m so sorry for everything. We were afraid, trying to protect you. Please forgive me, Allie.”
We sat silently for several minutes.
“He’s going to die, Mom.”
We sat holding hands watching him.
I took Levi’s wallet from the table beside the bed. I opened it, went into the secret pocket, and pulled out his ring then whispered. “Look, Mom he had it with him every day.”
She held me tightly while I cried my heart out.
