Page 38 of Holiday on the Rocks
“Thank you, Allie,” rumbled into my ear as it rested against his chest. “Today, uh, it’s been a lot.”
After a long moment he pulled back slightly, and I found myself staring at the center of his chest for the third time today. I wanted to look up, but fear was swimming through me. The seconds ticked by as quickly as water through a hair clogged drain.
Slowly my eyes walked up to see the warning behind his green irises as to what was about to happen. Almost as if he was giving me an out, but I didn’t move.
His lips touched mine loaded with fire. My senses were jumbled as he overwhelmed every cell in my body.
His mouth was soft and warm and exploring. The kiss was so charged I was instantly sinking. My hands involuntarily traveled to the shoulders I clung to as the rhythm was intimate, deep, and familiar. I was lost.
I whimpered as his mouth left mine and he kissed my jaw. His whiskers sliding down my neck sent tingles up my spine. One of his hands pulled my lower back into him while the other traveled up and held the base of my neck. He was lighting something that had been dead for what seemed like an eternity.
I wanted him to do all the things I shouldn’t want him to do. I wanted him to lick my skin, and I wanted to watch him shake and sweat because of me. I wanted him to cage me against the mattress and satisfy every selfish need he had. I wanted to be everything to him.
His mouth found mine again as his hands held my bottom and lifted me onto the vanity. My legs instinctively wrapped around his waist as if they’ve always belonged there. His hand traveled, and I drew in a sharp breath. I held his hand as his fingers circled over my shirt causing my nerves to jump.
I couldn’t get close enough as memories ran through my mind like a powerful storm; the backseat of his truck, me drunk and screaming with laughter as he tore off my thrift store wedding dress in a Vegas hotel room.
As I lost myself even more in his lingering kisses and taste, the memory of waking up in a hospital bed with him gone hit me like a bolt of lightning.
My blood ran cold, and I pushed him away. “Stop.” I stood on my wobbly legs and ran my hands through my hair. “This can’t happen.”
“Allie—”
Confusion and anger tied a knot in my chest. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. We are over. We’ve been over for a long time. Why in the hell am I kissing you?”
“I’m sorry, it’s me. I just, after the ice and, well, I don’t know.” His hand touched my shoulder, and I batted it away.
“This is so bad. I don’t want this. At all. You’re the past. I have a life now and want you nowhere in it.”
I exited the room and went into the hall so fast I tripped and landed on my knees before hopping back up.
“Are you okay?”
I stood. “I’m fine! I just like bleeding for fun.”
I clearly seized the wrong effing day. I reached my room realizing there were three stages of life. 1. Birth 2. What the fuck is this 3. Death.
I shut my door and leaned against it. What in the living hell is wrong with me? That damn Levi made me like the Bermuda Triangle; smart thoughts go in and then they’re never seen or heard from again. I was more confused than a chameleon in a bucket of Jelly Bellies.
I paced the room, slid open the window, and hung my head out in attempts to cool myself.
Okay, I needed to shove these negative thoughts from my mind. Yes, there was surely something positive I could reflect on at a time like this, right? Hmmm, something I could be happy and positive about?
Here goes. Uh, on a positive note, I’m not addicted to cocaine.
Crickets.
Yup, that was all I had.
My pulse rocketed at the quiet knock.
“Allie, are you okay?”
I walked to the door. “No, I am out of order until further notice. My stupid filter needs cleaning, and my give a shit batteries have run out.”
“Langley—”
“I just, I want to forget everything. I hate that we, uh, I just hate it.”
