Page 21 of Holiday on the Rocks
I sat up in bed unable to breathe with tears blurring my vision. It was dream. I attempted calming breaths which didn’t do shit, as my mind swirled around my car going over a cliff. The crippling fear, blood on my face, and thinking of what could’ve happened. I was alone.
Before I could talk myself down, my feet were on the floor and out in the hall. The house was dark and quiet and scary. My lungs were tight and refused to let me draw in a breath while my skin was hot and cold at the same time. Could someone my age have a heart attack?
By the time I reached Levi’s hallway I was jogging, and after three empty rooms, I stumbled into his, ran into a table by the door, and something crashed to the floor. The moonlight shined in the window, and before I could do anything he’d flown out of bed and was standing in front of me.
“What happened? Are you okay?”
“I, uh, I had a dream.” My body was shaking as I took in shallow breaths. “I?—”
He hit the switch on the wall and soft light from a lamp in the corner filled the room. I’d almost forgotten how tall he was as he stood wearing sweats and a red T-shirt with messy hair. I used my sleeve to wipe my eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry. I was just a little freaked out and, well, I don’t know.” My breathing was ragged and my pulse racing.
My heart squished when he pulled me to his chest and held me. It was so strange yet familiar; still a spot I seemed to feel utterly protected in. His arms around me made me soft as I melted into him. The right side of my brain was screaming to leave, while the left side was floating on a cloud in his presence. After a moment I pulled back and tried to get some air in. “I’m sorry, I can’t catch my breath.”
“You’re shaking. Breathe through your nose, okay? This is anxiety messing with you.”
He pushed a piece of hair from my face and it was intimate. Too intimate. I took another step back and crossed my arms over my braless chest feeling utterly exposed. My fear was shining through.
“You went through something traumatic today. Your mind isn’t shutting off, I get it.” He leaned in closer. “I know today rattled everything in you.”
I nodded while still unable to get a good gulp of air.
His hands went around my biceps. “Langley, breathe through your nose and out your mouth, okay?”
Why was this so hard? “I can’t.”
His deep voice rumbled through my bones. “Let’s breathe together.”
I looked into his eyes while he took a deep breath, and I followed. Again and again and after a several minutes everything regulated.
“Better?”
I nodded. “Uh, I guess I should go back to my room. Sorry to have woken you.”
I wanted my feet to move but they were stuck. After a few seconds his head tilted. “Why don’t you just chill in here for a while? Maybe if you’re not alone you can rest.”
I stared into his twinkling eyes not certain of what I was asking, but his warm grin answered. “So you can sleep. I don’t want you to be across this house if you have another bad dream. After all that’s happened this is normal.”
I didn’t know what was happening, but I knew I wasn’t going anywhere.
“Come on.” I followed him and he pointed. “You take the bed, and I’ll take the floor.”
“That sounds kinda sucky for you.”
“Langley, I spent half of my childhood in a sleeping bag when I didn’t have a bed.” He flashed me a smile. “It’ll be fine.”
“I don’t know.”
He walked to the closet and grabbed a blanket, pillow, and tossed it on the floor next to the bed. “I insist.”
I nodded, climbed in, and no sooner did my head hit the pillow, he reached down and pulled the comforter up to my chin. He walked over, turned the lamp off, and hit the floor.
My skin was prickly as the place I lay was still a little warm from his body that was there just moments ago. I sunk deeper into the mattress trying to feel it more. Did I inhale the pillow deeply searching for him? Of course not, I’m not a weird psyco. Come on.
Painful yet exhilarating memories of our last night together played on a loop that I wanted to stop.
Sort of.
Levi showing me what it was to belong to him. Hands everywhere while the things he made me feel, and the memory of it, caused an ache that filled me to the depths of my soul.
