Page 40 of Holiday on the Rocks
“So, you and the people you date?—”
“I don’t date. I hang out.”
“But you?—”
“Allie, I’m not made for something serious. Won’t ever have it. If we had closure, it would be a day of whatever and then nothing. It’d be done.”
I was struggling to digest this new information. What happened to the guy who couldn’t wait to marry me? The one who made me believe soul mates were real? How had he gone from one thing to completely another?
I never knew Levi.
But the thought of one more day in the house alone with him was an out of control high speed chase with no seatbelts. You know, the kind of ride that ends with body bags and a ten o’clock news story. I wanted to not want it, but if this was my one and only chance to be close for a hot minute, how could I say no?
What’s the point of living if you don’t take risks? I mean, if I had the chance to ride the highest roller coaster in the world and didn’t because I was afraid, would I regret it forever and ever? Would I wish I’d taken the chance to feel the fear and adrenaline? To live a hell yes life for a little while? I’d likely live to see the end of the ride, right? I mean, people take risks all the time and walk out the other side just fine.
So basically, closure could be a goodbye to us without leaving my heart in pieces. Yes, no emotions, just the chance to hang out knowing it was over in a day. My brain put her hands on her hips with a raised brow, but I opted to ignored that crazy bitch.
“You in?”
I was in like a stripper dancing for her rent money due tomorrow, but my words were stuck. Maybe my body took away the English language to try to protect me? I didn’t know how to make the decision.
“Maybe ask the magic eight ball?” Muffled through the door. “Then it’s almost like we’re not making the decision. We just do whatever magic eight says.”
Maybe everything happens for a reason. But maybe the reason is because I’m a dumbass and make bad choices? Yeah, my decision-making skills are as successful as a squirrel crossing the street as of late. Maybe magic eight was the best one to choose between options A and B.
I gave it a good shake and looked into the window.
No fucking way.
Maybe she didn’t understand the question, so I whispered. “Closure with Levi?” I shook her again as I counted to five and peeked.
Use your stupid ass brain.
Technically that wasn’t really an answer; it was just a statement. I needed an answer. Shake, shake, shake.
Don’t ask.
Again, not an answer so I shook her hard.
Yes, bitch.
There it was. A solid response from magic eight ball.
“Did you get the answer?”
I nearly jumped through the ceiling when I looked over to see Levi just inside the door leaning against the wall looking thoroughly amused. Scorching heat shot to my cheeks as I sat in silence while his eyes told me he’d seen me shake until I got the response I wanted.
“I, well, the little window was foggy.” I nodded. “Couldn’t see it.”
I jumped again when he walked over and took it from my hand and read before his eyes found mine.
“Yes, bitch.” The way his lips curled up at the edges made my nether regions tingle. “So magic eight ball and the universe are okay with closure?”
I sat blinking.
“Are you good with closure?”
My voice cracked. “I guess so.”
