Page 20 of Rook of Ruin
“Why wouldn’t they train you to do that? Think about it,my lady,if the future queen’s sister was going around seducing men outside of her station, sleeping with married men in other kingdoms in order to gain secrets”—to my embarrassment my face begins to pale as he continues—“it would bring great shame upon the royal family. It would also lower your prospects.”
I know he is speaking the truth. I assumed I’d graduated a year early because I was so good. I really thought I was better than him. The first ever Rook to receive their brace and wings a year early. I thought I was helping the kingdom. I’m embarrassed and ashamed. I’ve never felt so childish, like I’m a little girl playing dress up as a Rook. The queen did this. Why allow me to be a Rook at all?
“I . . . oh.” My face flushes and falls. All the years I did everything just so I could be more than, but I was never one of them. “Why are you telling me this now?” I say quietly.
“Three reasons. One, you need to grow the fuck up. You had to know that marrying for our kingdom was something you wouldbe asked to do one day, and there isn’t anything you or I can do about it.”
“I certainly wasn’t asking foryourhelp with it,” I bite back. I’m being petty now.
He ignores me. “Secondly, you haven’t been in court in a long time. Gain information and learn to play the game properly. Some people are not playing short term, they are in it to win, and you are a prize to be won. People here are as cruel as those on the streets . . . more so. You’ve seen what people are capable of.” He takes a breath. “Men will try to seduce you, take advantage of you and discount you because you are a female. Women will spread rumors and try to tear you down because of who you are. But you should know that from the Locker.”
I nod.
He goes on, “Finally, you’re a reckless brat.” I give him an icy glare but he meets mine with his own. “You make snap decisions that have cost lives.” He’s referring to my past. “You need to think ahead. You won’t always have all this to fall back on—” I start to interrupt him, but he growls, so I bite my lip and lower my eyes. “And then you do stuff like that.” He moves in closer. “You’re never submissive in the Locker, but you become that way too easily outside of it. You should be fighting. You need to fight. So fuckingfight me, Orlaith.”
My mouth drops in surprise. His anger clearly shows across his face, his scarred lips giving me a savage grin, and his grey eyes sparkle, slowly turning silver.A challenge.
My eyes flare, and I adjust my posture to show my lack of fucks to be given. I earned my brace—the same as he did—and as much as he thinks I’m always reckless, I do think ahead. “I would say cutting off a man’s balls might constitute a type of seduction—I doubt Tess has had as many balls drop onto the floor as I have.” He tilts his head at this, and I wickedly grin up at him. He thinks I don’t understand how court works? “I grew up aroundthe court—I know men try to seduce and rip apart the value of a person, just like a woman can.” At that, I quirk my eyebrow. “Perhaps I wouldn’t mind being seduced.” I shrug. “By the right man, that is.”
He huffs a breath, and I tilt my head. Very slowly and bravely, I lean up to place a gentle kiss on his neck, trailing my lips up to his ear. I feel his body shudder. Thank goodness I read erotic books.
I whisper near his ear, “Seduction is easy if you really want to do it.” I lean back slightly, smiling as if I made a point, but I’m surprised to find fire in his eyes. “I guess that means when I seduce someone, I won’t be jaded—it will be because I want to, not because I have to. And when I marry, for our kingdom or for love, I will marry because he is my choice.”
What am I doing?
I pause for a moment to see if Ossian—Alec—moves. He doesn’t.
I lean back against the cool glass. “And fine, I knew I could be asked. But I thought—stupidly—that being a Rook would exclude me.” My voice becomes a little quieter. “I thought I would find someone who would lovemeand not justthis.” I gesture, indicating the lavishness of the castle and the connections to the queen. “But, point taken, I will make an effort to learn to play the game and gather information.”
He nods. “O, being a Rook, a real Rook, wouldn’t—”
“A real Rook.”My anger blazes. “You should know I think you’re equally a brat. You like to play your little games and mind fuck people to gain information, fine. You’re not bad at what you do, but you overlook people and disregard opinions. You’re rude when you don’t have to be. You want to be a knight? Go for it. You want to better yourself? Do it. But don’t be a bloody prick about it. And don’t you dare belittle me because I hadsomeof this when my parents died. I don’t make other Rooks call melady. You want to throw around titles? Then bow before thisladylike a gentleman would.”
I almost come undone at his smile full of perfectly white teeth, and my heart practically jumps out of my chest when he pushes off the glass and bows low to me. I don’t know what overcomes me, but I step slightly forward. I run my hands through his surprisingly soft hair and hook my fingers around his chin to make him look at me. When his head moves and his silver eyes meet mine, my breasts become heavy. Slick heat forms between my legs. To my embarrassment I want him, all of him.
He stands, and before I have a moment to think, he places his calloused hand on my face, and I lean into him. He smiles sadly as his fingers stroke my cheek, then he bends down and gives me a gentle whisper of a kiss. “Know your worth, Rook, because one day, you will bring me to my knees.”
I close my eyes, wishing that whatever this is could last longer. His warmth disappears from my cheek, and my body is all the sorrier for it.
When I open my eyes, I feel better. I know I may not get to marry who I choose, but I’ll sacrifice what I must becauseRookshave to. If this keeps our kingdom safe, then I’ve at least proven my worth.Custodes Vitae.
It is past dinner, but fortunately, Patsy kept a plate warm for me in the sitting room. I’m in my undergarments, filling my stomach with meat pie, causing Patsy to make a disapproving face as she flutters in with a trolley full of gowns, shoes, and other small packages. Patsy has never said anything, but I’m sure she wishes I were more like Ralin. I doubt my sister has ever eaten meat pie in her undergarments . . . or licked her fingers. Ralin is missing out.
I lazily stretch my body across my brown leather sofa. My sitting room is painted a deep, relaxing burgundy. I was lucky—as a birthday gift, the queen allowed me to decorate my chambers how I saw fit. I chose brown leather sofas, comfortable enough to sleep on, with a matching chair, along with dark oak side tables, a matching coffee table and desk, and soft ivory rugs strategically placed over the hardwood floor. Rich burgundy curtains currently hide my view of the treacherous Serus Mountains. They match the walls and have small silverdragons embroidered on the bottoms. It was a true gift to be able to make this space mine.
The large white marble mantle frames the fireplace, and two gleaming swords hang above it. They belonged to the famous Jovan, a Warrior of Old, who supposedly fought a dragon only to fall in love with her before she devoured him. The paintings on the walls are of famous battles, naked men and women in various uncouth positions, and my favorite one of all is in a place of honor. To the left of the fireplace is the most breathtaking painting I’ve ever seen. Beautiful women with flower crowns and long blue hair covering their breasts dance and drink in celebration in a room full of flowers with handsome men in gold clothing, who have long, pointed ears. It was our mother’s, Michaela’s, painting. I used to stare at it for hours. I would dream of being a blue-haired woman dancing without a care and taking one of those handsome men in my arms and then into my bed.
The soft squeal of pipes let me know a bath is running, and I walk into the bathroom just as Patsy puts jasmine oil in the oversized tub. My bare feet turn cold from the ivory and blue-green tile. The floor is designed to look like the sea—the ivory is the sea-foam and the blue-green is the waves peaking softly. Patsy turns off the tap and places two fluffy towels on a stand next to the tub, then she turns down two of the sconces, allowing for a soft glow in the room.
I undress and wade into the tub, the warm water reaching up to my neck. I dip my head under and let out a scream, forcing bubbles to shoot from my mouth. Ossian—Alec said that myrecklessnesshas killed people. And it has, only once before. But now . . . Matron and the Rook in the mortuary. I couldn’t save her . . .“The darkness isn’t coming. It’s been here all along.”What does that mean? I knew too well not to ask Ossian—Alec.
Ugh. Perhaps Alec isn’t so bad. Maybe—maybe— there is more to him than being an ass. Why save my life in the Locker if he hates me? Why allow me to cry into his chest without a snide remark? Thunderous mercy. Do I actuallytrusthim? I sit up, allowing my lungs air. Hells, I do. I actually do trust him. His words run through my mind.“Know your worth.”
The ass. I know my worth. Oss—Alec is the one who needs to figure out his fucking worth. He wasn’t prickly before he left; in fact he was a little more personable. I laugh out into the empty room when I think about how we met the first year I was a Recruit.
“My brother Jon is coming back for a visit. I think you two would get along.” Tess nudges me with a knowing grin, stabbing into her breakfast.
Paul tilts his head. “Isn’t Jon the one who’s slept with half of—”
