Page 62 of Rook of Ruin
His last words strike me. Perhaps my brace isn’t acting up—maybe I’ve been unlocking my true potential. Draining my cup, I watch as the women preen and move seductively. Vetter narrows his eyes at them and inhales deeply. It’s fascinating to me. It isn’t like at the castle, where women flirt with their eyes andplay games with their words. No, these women seem free. Free to behave as men would, where a soft touch wouldn’t mean either a marriage or disgrace. My goblet is quickly refilled without an ask or demand.
“This reminds me of—” I don’t get the words, “fae” or “my mother’s painting” out because the wine is making my mind sluggish, more so than usual.
“Yes.” He glances over at me as if knowing my inner thoughts, dropping my hand.
I’m not sure what kind of reaction he is expecting, so I laugh. “Strange.”
“Not at all,” Vetter murmurs. “What is strange though is howhecould have left you.”
My mind catches up with the change in subject. “Simon was trying to save me.”
He laughs. “Simon? No. My dear, the prince is . . .” Vetter waves his hand dismissively. “Unimportant.”
“He is not unimportant,” I argue. “No life is unimportant.”
“Interesting. You care for the prince.” Vetter’s black eyes sparkle with amusement. “But you’re not his.”
My face burns red, both from embarrassment and from Vetter’s truth. He motions for more wine for everyone, and although I shouldn’t have more, I do. My eyes move to Finn, who is fidgeting but watching the crowd along with Nora. I want to dance, I want to move, and my body stands all on its own. It’s a freeing feeling, but then wooziness washes over me.
“If you will excuse me, I need to—”
Vetter rises and holds out his hand, and I’m drawn to him. I take his hand in mine. We walk down the stairs, past women and men dancing wildly, to an adjoining hallway adorned in red and gold.
“You have my loyalty for what you did,” Vetter says softly when we are alone.
“What I did,” I repeat, my brain not connecting with the words.
“Forthem.”
“Of course,” I mumble. “I will always help our people.” My voice feels so unlike my own. My head feels fuzzy and light. Not at all a drunk you would get from spice, but a wonderful, lovely, floating high.
“I believe you will. How did you manage to fool the Spider?”
“Hmmmm?” I feel the thudding of music in this room, my body wanting to move.
Vetter turns quickly to me, and warmth creeps up from my chest to my face. He stares at me in shock. “It’s not hyperbole, is it? That’s why you don’t remember.” A deep sadness shows in his eyes, but I’m still confused. “He’s a fool. I’m—I will always protect you.” His words are like a terrible riddle, one I don’t understand. I want to ask what this all means, but an odd sensation tingles in my mind.
Vetter reaches out as if to help me, but I begin swaying to a beat that only my body knows. I know I’m falling, but beautiful colors swirl around me and catch me gently. I giggle while reaching out to touch the bursting bubbles of color, but they evade me, pulling back.
Pouting, I sigh out, “Don’t go,” but bright lights sparkle through those swirling colors, coaxing me to join them. I do so without thought. I free-fall out of the swirling colors and into a burning light so bright that I almost shield my eyes.
Standing in the middle of the light is a tall, very thin man with barely any hair. His sad gold eyes show surprise as he reaches for me. I hold out my hand, and he gives me a sorrowful smile. Our fingers touch briefly. Power flows between us.
“I’m sorry,”he whispers.“I’m not strong enough. Not yet.”
My body twists itself into a crimson-and-gold hallway, and I vomit. Nora pulls my hair back as I continue to be sick. WhenI finish, I pull myself into a ball, tears streaming down my face. Something was taken from me. Something important . . . but I can’t remember. I can only remember his haunting voice.
Nora helps me into the bed, and I fall into a deep slumber.
We stayed in Enthe the following day. Healing everyone in need, even a few horses and pigs. Vetter left his home before I awoke, and I was unable to gain any more knowledge, answers only he might know. There’s an ache in my chest, a deep crevice where a part of my soul feels as though it was removed. I want to weep and scream for the loss as I follow Nora slowly down the dirty street.
I retreat into myself, speaking only when spoken to. My trust in everyone is gone. I recoil when Finn tries to help me up into the cart. I’m silent as we travel through Enthe to the next village, my heart so heavy. I can’t remember what was taken, what was lost. A seed has been planted in my mind, but I can’t get it to grow, to show me what it is I need to know.
“Love, you should eat.” Finn hands me a sandwich.
I try to eat it, but when it enters my mouth, I turn and vomit off the cart. I keep my back to everyone, tears pooling at the corners of my eyes. I don’t understand. I don’t know why I have this feeling, as if I need to remember something—someone—vital. It’s tearing me up inside. An uncomfortable silence takes hold of our party.
We reach the next small village at dusk; it is in utter shambles. Smoke lingers from the burned-down homes. It’s a gory sight, one I try to not linger on.
