Page 143 of Rook of Ruin
The hallway doesn’t get any bigger the more I pace. I’ve committed every detail of the dark wooden floors and thick soft green rugs to memory. Frazzled, unable to sleep, and losing my wits, I wait. Dove sits with her hands propping up her head, watching me with empathy as I do my best not to fall apart.
The king’s own healer is in the room with Isle. In the early light of the morning, I sent letters to the queen of Acros and my sister, requesting a Rook healer or my brace. I reek of desperation; I would get on my hands and knees to beg Ossian himself if he had any power to help. Simon’s self assurance, his ability to put everyone at ease, his strength, his kindness, his love . . . all gone. He’s changed into someone I don’t recognize, someone who is so different from the man I fell in love with. I punch out into the air in frustration and storm into our room.
The sight before me almost brings a sob from my throat. Tears stream down his handsome face. I run to Simon and gently hold him while he falls apart.
Hours pass before I move—Isle and the healer are long gone. Holding in my own tears, I run my fingers through his soft curlyhair. I notice small clumps of his salt-and-pepper hair come away with my fingers, and I drop my hand.
Simon’s voice croaks. “I have a few weeks, if I’m lucky.” He brings his calloused hand up, gently caressing my face. “I have everything written down. Our warriors have instructions that they are only to follow your command.” He swallows. “O, I don’t know how I will behave. I haven’t felt like myself for awhile, but fuck, I feel like I can’t think straight even more so now. I don’t know if I will remember or what I will remember. It will eat me from the inside out. I’m already stiff all over. It hurts to move.” Tears steadily come down his face. “I want whatever time is left to be with you and our boy.”
“I love you.” I kiss his face. “We will figure something out. There has to be a cure. We can beat this.”
“No. I can’t.”
“Simon, I refuse to believe it. Together, we will fight and—”
“I’ve already been defeated.” Simon moves over, pushing my hand away.
Touching my chest, I check to see if I’ve been struck through with a spear to the heart. My voice goes low and gentle. “Simon, we haven’t even begun to fight.”
“You are the one who defeated me. Just tell me you took that asterlyn, and I will forgive you.” His brown eyes plead with me to tell the truth.
I suck in a breath. “Did you ever think that maybe it was placed in our bathroom to make you think I took it? Do you really believe I would betray you? I didn’t take it, Simon. I don’t know how I can make you believe this. I don’t understand what makes you think I would lie to you about it.”
His eyes narrow, and he rolls over. “You were a Rook, Orlaith, and you were close to the Spider.”
“No, I wasn’t. I didn’t even know his first name.” I reach over, but he shoves my hand away. I lie awake all night, wishing I could fix what is broken between us. I cling to what we once had.
Isle paces, her silver hair moving with her head as she shakes it. “He still won’t tell me who they were, and no one saw them enter or leave the gates.” Usually stoic and calm, her emotions are becoming frayed. A few days ago several people in red cloaks visited Simon while I was at the lake with Milo. Isle heard raised voices and walked into the study just as Simon keeled over. “He is getting worse, and there is still no word from the archivist on Jovan.”
Dove chews on a red rubbery candy stick. “Nothing from Ruin’s Larks in Acros either other than what is already known from the books. Although, I’m still surprised one was able to get the information on the Panther’s smuggling ring.”
A smile tugs on my lips. “I know.” But my smile drops as I read Paul’s short coded letter. “I will lower the staff. Only those we truly trust.” I push Paul’s letter out of my face. His words are devastating, and I wish I could reach through the letter to hug him, let him know he is not alone in his grief.Zane.Fuck. Not Zane.
Swallowing my sorrow, I steady myself. There’s nothing I can do right now. I can’t break down, not here—I’ll do it alone—but I don’t know how much more heartache I can take.
Stretching, my black-and-silver fighting leathers pull across my chest. I give my orders. “I need everything ready, or as ready as it can be.” Tossing Paul’s letter into the fire, a knock at the door has Dove rising from her leather chair.
“Enter.”
Stallion glides in with Bow; the two of them were fast friends. Stallion is a head taller with short sandy brown hair, but he isn’t as wide as Bow. With a flourished wave of his hand, Bow gives me another letter and simultaneously winks at Dove, who blushes. Isle rolls her eyes, and Stallion looks between the two lovers.
Opening the letter quickly, I pause, swiping a hand down my face. I allow myself to believe that, against all odds, I will be able to find a cure, that I will be that cure. Opening my eyes back up, I begin to read. Her words torture my heart, each one more painful than the last.
I drop the letter, fists forming at my sides. Isle picks it up and reads it.
“Fuck.” She shoves the letter into Dove’s face. “We can try to convince him to go.”
I nod and say nothing. He won’t. I know in my heart that Simon won’t leave Bethal ever again.
With a soft knock, Taen walks into the study and curtsies low. “Your Highness, I was told to—” She looks around the room, realizing she has interrupted something. Dove crumples Queen Inara’s letter and throws it into the fire, Taen’s eyes quickly following the motion.
I smile, and it isn’t one of warmth and kindness. “I will give you one chance, and then I’m going to peel the skin off your fucking face. What information have you given Callan?”
Bow bites the inside of his cheeks, stopping his grin, while Stallion doesn’t bother to hide his sadistic smile. Isle and Dove stand stone faced. Taen brings her hands to mouth, eyes wide in surprise. This is no fucking surprise to us; everyone knows she is a traitor. We’ve kept her close to keep tabs on her, to remain three moves ahead.
“Tell me now.” I pull out the black dagger from my side.
Bubbles form in her mouth, and Taen begins choking. “I love . . . him.”
