Page 42 of Rook of Ruin
“Do you have family, Simon?” I ask suddenly, wanting to fill the void.
“I do.” He smiles. “I have two sisters and a brother. I had another younger brother, but he passed away.” He leans back into the sofa we share, running a hand through his curls.
“I’m sorry for your loss.” I mean it too. “What is your family like?”
“Thank you.” He dips his head slightly. “We are all different from each other. I have a very complicated family.”
“How so?” I blurt out the question before considering how rude it is.
Dimples press into his face. “It’s a long story.” There is something heavy lingering between us, but I’m unable to place it. He clears his throat. “I have orders to leave tomorrow.”
“I see.” Slowly, I turn the glass in my hand, watching the red liquid move, and set it down on the side table. “Will you be leaving for good?”
“I’m uncertain.” He flattens his fingers on the arm of the sofa as another tight silence forms between us. Everything that was so easy is now fraught with tension. He sighs and leans forward, shaking his head as he stands.
I follow him to the chamber door. Simon swiftly turns, wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me to himself and giving me a gentle hug. He releases me quickly, and with a dimpled wink, he is gone. The shocking feeling of loneliness lingers as I miss Simon’s friendly presence immediately, and I’m thankful he didn’t say goodbye. For a moment, I stand in my sitting room, trying to stuff my warring emotions into a little box deep within my chest.
Pushing the leather chair from the sitting room into my bedroom is a lot more exhausting than I realized. Grabbing an extra blanket off my bed, I snuggle up into my chair and sleep but soon awake to Alec, shaking and chilled. I wrap my blanket around his body and try to heal him again.Nothing.
“Please wake up.” Gently, I wipe a clean cloth over his face. Still clammy and cold. I very carefully pull back the covers and climb in next to him, giving him my warmth. All too aware of his nakedness, I carefully hug my body to his. “Fight me,” I whisper. “Fight for me. Please.”
Hours pass as I lie awake, frightened. Frightened to leave him, for a Grey Sister to perform his last rites. Frightened to stay and prevent him from having the last rites. Tears pull at the corners of my eyes.
The knock at my door has me jolting up out of the bed and quickly tucking the blankets back to remove any evidence I was under them with him. Nora pulls in a cart and takes a look at my disheveled figure, then peers into the room, where the chair sits.
“Have you been up all night?”
“Nora, please send word for a Grey Sister. Christoph and Nolan should come too, as soon as they can.” A tear escapes, but I quickly wipe it away. Without a word, she leaves. I gather my emotions and lock them down—Alec doesn’t need me to come apart. I quickly dress and use the facilities. The blue cotton dress with white embroidered flowers swishes around my feet as I sit back down in my chair. My brace glows softly.Please heal. I lay my head against the bed, holding his hand.
“He’s not ready yet.” Grey fabric fills my vision, and a mixture of relief and confusion clouds my thoughts. Her wrinkled face and soft green eyes look knowingly at Alec. “The Rook hasn’t accepted death, nor has his body. I can’t perform any Rites for him today.” She gently places her hand on my shoulder. “He’s fighting. He still has time.”
Relief expands through me. “Thank you.”
“Thank you for all you did for our Matron,” she says softly.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t do more,” I choke out. “She was . . .” Kind. Wonderful. Amazing. Brilliant. Everything I want to say is left out in the air.
“Yes. She was.” She squeezes my shoulder and leaves my rooms. A sob escapes my lips as I hold Alec’s hand to my face.
The whole morning goes by, and I only leave his side to use the facilities. Nora brings lunch in, concern across her face when she sees I’ve still not slept. I ignore the concern, instead asking her to bring dinner enough for four. My voice sounds gravelly as I read out loud to Alec, restartingJovan’s Longing Heart.
Halfway through the fifth chapter, Alec begins shaking again, and I slip under the covers, trying to warm him, tamping down any curiosity to double-check his body for open wounds when I know perfectly well he must be suffering from something inside his head. He stops shaking after thirty minutes, and I remove my body, settling back into the chair, continuing Jovan’s tale.
“My lady,” Nora whispers softly, opening the bedroom door. “My lady, I’ve brought you dinner, and you have guests.”
“Please ask them if they would like some refreshments. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
She bobs her head, and I wipe off Alec’s forehead. Tearing myself away from him, I trudge into the bathroom to wash my hands. I peer into the mirror. The wary face of a woman with tired hazel eyes stares back. Her eyes follow me until I lay out another white fluffy towel and place soap and oils by the tub to use for Alec.
“Gentlemen,” I say, opening my bedroom door. Nolan and Christoph stop pacing the room, bracing themselves for the worst. “Please sit.” They sit on my favorite sofa, stiff and concerned. “I was told by a Grey Sister today that Alec isn’t ready for last rites. He is fighting.” I give them a genuine grin as both men let out a nervous breath of relief. “If you both are willing, I would like your help.”
Christoph practically jumps off the couch in anticipation. “Anything, Lady Verlan. Anything at all.”
Nolan frowns slightly at Christoph’s enthusiasm. The shift in his polite demeanor tells me he is fully aware that lords and ladies can play games with people’s lives. He doesn’t trust meyet.Giving Nolan my best disarming Simon smile, I spread my hands to show I’m not a threat.
“I would like for you to help me keep Alec clean, to spend time with him while he recovers.” They both look shocked. “He needs another bath, and the room needs to be refreshed while he isn’t on the bed. I assume he would not want just anyone to see him this . . . vulnerable. I understand it would be at your leisure and during your free time. I can request compensation from our queen, if you would like?” The question is a test of loyalty. If they want compensation, it is either because they are not that close with him or they have financial restraints. The latter could mean they are susceptible to bribes, and I will protect Alec the best I can.
Nolan’s hard face easily shows his determination. “Yes, of course. He is our family. We will not accept any compensation.” Christoph nods in agreement.
