Page 71 of Rook of Ruin
In a rush, I recall leaving the Locker and meeting Simon for the first time . . . I remember my mind being destroyed while the lords and ladies questioned me . . . I remember saving Mags and the baby in the field with the Roggenwolves, then Simon finding me . . . I remember Nora fussing over my outfit, receiving Salann and the foal from Simon, and then he told me he would propose after being found worthy. I remember Simon looking down at me from Artho, desperate, angry, unwilling to let me go while I struggled to get an arrow out of my body. It’s Simon, always Simon saving me.
A black-haired man with a nervous smile stands by the door. I stare back at him with a feeling like I know him or have seen him somewhere before.
Remember.
The smallest movement brings my eyes to a man with deep scars next to my bed. Vetter smiles. “There you are. You fought hard, my dear. We were lucky to get to you in time for the antidote.” I study his face, and his black eyes seem sad. I know Vetter—I remember I like him, but I don’t know exactly why.
I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. My brain thumps in pain, and the fog in my mind is desperate to stay.
“You were poisoned,” Nora says gently. “They poisoned you after you healed all those people.”
“I don’t recall.”Think.
“A side effect of the poison, I’m sure,” Vetter says. “It was horrible. You were unable to heal yourself. You’re so lucky this gentleman found you and sent for us.”
The black-haired man looks at me solemnly but gives me a slight smile. Maybe I know him because he helped me?
“Thank you,” I say to the man, feeling confused and weak. My eyes dart back to Vetter. “I remember you, your house.” I squint, trying to remember everything, every detail, but some things are fuzzy. Two thrones made of gold and drinking very good wine is all that filters up through the fog.
Vetter laughs. It should be frightening coming from his violent face, but I like it. “I’m flattered you remember my home.” He pauses. “I truly had no idea you were being held against your will, my dear. I would have immediately stopped them when you were in Enthe.” He shakes his head. “The queen sent the Spider out to rescue you and apprehend the rogues who harmed you. I’m surprised he didn’t find you. Perhaps he had more important matters to deal with, but I assure you, the one who poisoned you will be dealt with.” His warm hand reaches out and finally holds my hand. “I am glad you are feeling better, my dear. Should you need anything, I will always be at your service.” He bendsslightly, kissing my hand, and tenderly places it back onto the blanket. “I will take my leave.”
“I thought I was going to lose you.” Simon takes my hand and holds it gently. His warm, calloused touch does not feel comforting. I stare at him. His brown eyes speak the truth—I almost died—but something is off. Something is different. Something deep within me wants to rip out of his grasp.
“I think she needs some rest, Sir Caddel.” Nora smiles down at me.
Simon hesitates and then pats my hand. “Of course. I’ll be down the corridor if you need anything.”
I curl up into a ball. Something is terribly wrong. Something else happened to me. I feel it in my bones.
“O—my lady, is there anything I can get for you? Can I do anything for you?” Nora asks softly.
I shake my head, and tears fall down my face.
We’ve stayed three days at a large old inn, Simon constantly at my side. Nora finally shoos him out to make me take a bath and change into fresh clothes. I haven’t gotten out of bed other than to relieve myself, and I know I smell.
The warm water should feel good against my skin, but I can’t bring myself to enjoy the bath; I can’t bring myself to enjoy anything. I quickly wash my whole body and get out.
I’ve never believed in ghosts, but in this room, I believe there are. They reach for me in the night, call to me, haunt me. Nora provides me with black leathers similar to Simon’s and braids my hair. Setting a simple white-gold coronet upon my head, she tries to smile, to provide me with comfort. But there is none to be given as I stare at my tear-streaked face in the vanity’s mirror.My eyes are puffy and red, and my face looks like it has seen death. Nora bends down, giving me a small hug, and I begin to shake.
“Something’s wrong Nora. I feel like I’ve lost something . . . something so dear to my heart . . . but I don’t know what it is.” She silently holds me as I continue to cry.
There’s a soft knock at my door, and Nora goes to answer it, then mumbles something. “My lady, it’s time to go.” I take one last look at the ghosts in the vanity and leave.
Outside, Simon is holding Salann for me, but even the sight of her doesn’t pull a smile from my lips. I rub my hand along her neck and mount her before he hands me the reins. “Thank you, Simon.”
“You’re welcome, O. I’m here if you want to talk.”
I nod in acknowledgement.
Eight of us ride together, and four more on a cart, including Nora. Simon rides alongside me. We don’t stop in any villages but weave our way through the eastern side of Acros, stopping at small inns or taverns along the way. I retreat into myself, only providing short answers or nodding to questions. Simon, Nora, and the black-haired man, who I now know as Finn, watch me carefully.
My head hurts as I try and fail to recall what happened to me. I spend my nights curled up, thinking, and crippling fear slithers itself into my mind like a snake ready to strike. Every sound, every touch, I cower from.
Everyone knows something terrible happened to me, but no one is talking. My imagination runs wild. I’m also not asking questions because the moment I think I can, the snake’s fangs scrape across my mind, and the venom is truly deadly.
When we are two night’s journey to the castle, I completely break down. Nora finds me sobbing on the floor, curled up into a ball. “O—my lady.” She tries to reassure me, to help me, but Ican’t respond to her. I can’t fucking breathe. She runs for Simon, who carries me to bed, and I clutch on to him for dear life.
He sets me onto his lap, curled up like a child, and I cry for what seems an eternity. My shattered heart and the debilitating fear prevents me from picking up the pieces. I’m mourning something, but I have no idea what.How did they hurt me? What did they do to me?
