Page 92 of Rook of Ruin
“Not all care homes are bad, O.”
I shake my head. “Yes, but some are. The ones in Enthe are. Ossian was there. He—” I stop myself. How do I know this? I don’t remember having a conversation with him about it, but it’s there in my mind. Like I justknow.
“He . . . ?” Paul stares at me, waiting.
“I don’t know.” I shake my head, and a voice whispers,“I’m sorry.”
I’m fucking haunted.
Rain continues to softly fall, and I finally get the courage to admit something that I’ve known for a while. “I think there is something really wrong with me, Paul.” He’s startled by my admission. “Down in my soul, I know something is wrong, but I don’t know what. My mind is constantly grasping for something that isn’t there. It’s been happened since the incident in the Locker . . . maybe even before, and it’s gotten worse since I was kidnapped . . . and I know, I fuckingknowit was something wonderful, beautiful even . . . and absolutely horrifying. My brace started acting strangely too. Emotions would pulse through it so strong, they would pull me down to where I could barely breathe. I thought I was going to die.”
Paul appears physically ill. “Do you think . . .” He shakes his head and swallows the words I had thought too. What if my memories were taken? But that wouldn’t explain my brace, and a Grey Sister would never betray her oath—Matron would never betray a Rook. “Does Simon know?”
“I haven’t told Simon yet. I will, I just—” I sigh. “Everything’s happening so fast.”
“Shit.” Paul is searching for words, but there is no comfort he can give other than to listen.
I shrug. “Shit is right.”
“I’m glad you are talking about it. That’s the first step. Talking.”
I nod, we both know this, but sometimes it is hard to talk about the things we go through.
He sighs. “Does Tess know?”
“No.” I shake my head.
“Does Al—Ossian know?”
“Why wouldheknow?” I look at Paul sharply.
“You two seemed”—he searches for the words—“closebefore you were taken. I thought you would be using his first name, but maybe I’m mistaken.”
I frown. “What? No. That man is a fucking horse’s ass.” I look down at Sal and rub her beautiful neck. “Sorry, Sal. A bad, bad, horse that no one likes—that kind of horse’s ass, not like your beautiful rump.” Salann snorts like she understands.
Paul is silent for a moment and sighs. “Thank you for telling me. I understand it was hard for you. A lot of things have changed in a short amount of time. Just a few months ago, you and I were in the comforts of the Locker, and now”—he splays his hand out—“we are in the fucking rain.” We laugh, and the thunder of hooves comes up behind us. “If you want to talk more about it, just the two of us, I’m here for you, O. Always.”
“Same. Paul. Always. Now tell meeverything. How did Zane propose?”
On the fifth day, I wake up to a cold bed. I drag my body up and complete my morning routine. After serving breakfast, Paul and I eat, and then we start breaking down camp. Simon finds me folding our blankets, and he steals my breath away with one deep, affectionate kiss.
“Come with me.” His command has me squirming. He holds my hand as we run through the camp, laughing like children. At the end of the camp, a lone covered royal carriage awaits. Simon opens the door and offers his hand, and I take it with a wink. Instead of helping me in, he growls and pulls me towards him, kissing me once more. He picks me up and sets me into the carriage, then hops into the driver’s seat, and we take off into the woods—far enough where we won’t be heard, close enough to be found.
I watch through the window as he ties up the horses, then he opens the door, eyes wide and full of need. He pulls down the shades until only a crack of light filters in, intimate. His sword, my shortsword, our daggers, and our leathers are carefully placed on one side of the carriage. It’s like we haven’t seen each other in ages, like each night we’ve spent has been nothing compared to this. We’re kissing and moaning, and our bodies come clashing together. I grip Simon’s shoulders as I ride him, my legs shaking from how hard my orgasm hits. When I finish, Simon kisses me softly and switches positions, taking me from behind. I gulp down air as he stretches me out, and he waits until I have adjusted and then slowly thrusts forward. He quickens the pace as I begin panting, and when he hits the spot that has me screaming his name, he explodes inside of me. We collapse on the bench, and I snuggle up against him as I lazily play with the curls upon his head.
He brings my hand to his lips. “I’m a selfish man.” Simon? Selfish? Nothing could shock me more, not even if the queenherself stuck her head in the carriage and waved. “I haven’t kept my word to ravish you all the way to Bethal. I’m sorry for that.”
“Simon.” I kiss him softly.
He brushes a calloused finger on my cheek. “I watch how you care for our warriors. I see how hard you’re trying to gain their respect. I want them to see what I see. Selfishly, I want you to succeed.” He gives me a wicked smile. “So much so, I walk around with my balls in a twist and my cock hard just thinking about you. Otherwise, I would have you in here the whole time.” He laughs, his cheeks turning a shade of soft pink.
“Thank you for letting me try to—”
“I don’tletyou do anything, O.” He waves a dismissive hand at the thought and sighs. “You do what you want. I saw, the moment you decided to ride Salann instead of in the carriage, that you chose to earn their respect. You chose to ride with me, to lead them with me.” He tilts his head. “I want to be clear: had you chosen to ride in the carriage, I would still be proud to be your husband. But what you are doing now, they are respecting. These warriors are under my direct care. When we go to battle, I will fight with them, for them. I’ve heard them talking among themselves, and you’re so much more than what they expected. I love you for working so hard, I love you for humbling yourself to feed them first, I love you for—”
I kiss him with such ferocity that he moans and reaches for me. Ilethim pleasure me with his hand before I take him into me again. We reach our peak and cuddle for another moment before we hear the thunder of hooves in the distance. We giggle like two unwed young lovers about to get caught, quickly pulling on leathers, boots, daggers, swords, and kissing between the chaos. I quickly rebraid my hair as he places the crown upon my head again. We check each other over before Simon opens the door to our warriors, who offer a few knowing smirks as they ride by on their horses. Paul and the carriage driver waitpatiently with Sal and Artho. Simon offers his hand, and I take it, rewarded once again with dimples. Simon, always at ease, hoists himself on Artho and winks as he passes me.
I adjust my leathers and mount Sal. “Was it that obvious?”
