“That’s not fair, Meggie,” Uncle Digger complained. “The hoses are on the other side of the fucking house.”
 
 “Life’s not fair, Digger,” she replied coldly.
 
 “Come on, Dad.” Choking, Axel grabbed Dad’s hand. “Mom’s right about talking, too. But I know a way. A shortcut.”
 
 “Of course you do,” Mom grumbled.
 
 Dad remained ominously silent.
 
 “Shitty behavior. Shitty reward,” Rebel said gleefully.
 
 Axel huffed and tugged Dad away. Uncle Johnnie followed without comment.
 
 Shocking, but thank goodness for minor miracles.
 
 “I’ll help de-shit them.” Uncle Mort sighed and started off. “Come on, fool,” he called over his shoulder to Uncle Digger.
 
 When the mudroom door opened and Uncle Digger made no move to follow, Mom narrowed her eyes at him.
 
 “Why are you still in my kitchen, Digger?” she demanded.
 
 “It’s cold and damp, and I’m dripping shit. It’ll be too uncomfortable for me—”
 
 “Get the fuck out, fuckhead,” Uncle Val ordered. “This Prez house too, and he followed Meggie’s orders.”
 
 Uncle Digger glared from Mom to Uncle Val.
 
 “What the fuck is wrong with you, Digger?” Uncle Val growled.
 
 Rebel started to speak, but she’d only make the situation worse, so CJ shook his head and placed a finger over his lips.
 
 “Don’t give me another reason to dislike you.” Mom’s cold words shocked everyone into silence. “I already havefive hundred thousand. Or is it a million? As usual, someone tried to clean upyourdestructive behavior.”
 
 Uncle Digger’s eyes widened.
 
 If CJ wasn’t mistaken, it sounded as if Mom accused Uncle Digger of stealing money from her. He certainly couldn’t think of five hundred thousand reasons for Mom to dislikeanyone.
 
 Regret and shame crossed Uncle Digger’s face, but only for the briefest moment before he glared at Mom.
 
 “It’s not as if you missing that fucking money,” he said, confirming CJ’s suspicions. “You know how to make that back and then some.”
 
 Rebel stiffened. CJ tugged her in front of him, wrapped his arms around her, and rested his chin on her shoulder.
 
 “Goddamn,” Uncle Val said. “Youstolefrom Meggie, motherfucker?”
 
 “Obviously, I missed it if I know it’s gone,” Mom spat, and pointed up. “And there are cameras, idiot.”
 
 Not to mention witnesses.
 
 “As if you didn’t intend to tell Outlaw.” Scorn dripped from Uncle Digger’s voice as rank as the shit dripping from his body.
 
 Mom smirked. “What should I tell him? You won’t get out of my house or you stolehismoney? What would get you killed quicker and make my life easier?”
 
 “I stole Prez money?” Uncle Digger squeaked.
 
 “That’s your fucking take away?” Uncle Val asked in outrage.
 
 “Yes!” Rebel screamed wildly. “Yes, it is because he’s a stupid motherfucker,” she continued just as Diesel entered from the hallway and Uncle Mort walked in from the mudroom. Probably because he’d been waiting for his brother and the motherfucker was too lost in fuckery. “He doesn’t realize Mom won’t order his fucking guts yanked out through his mouth and fucking barbequed because of Uncle Mort.”