Page 33 of Ruptured
“I-I came to check on you,” she said with hesitation. “You left upstairs twenty minutes ago.”
Still not looking at her, he shrugged.
“Were you able to get any sleep?”
“Not much,” he admitted.
“That explains your grouchiness,” she said with a giggle, her amusement washing over him with much needed familiarity. “You’re a beast when you’re hungry or tired.”
He smiled, lifted his head, and nodded. She still hadn’t gotten her braids back, but it didn’t matter. He’d never seen a girl more beautiful than Harley Banks. Her honey-colored skin, dotted with acne, her gorgeous eyes, her perfect lips, punched him with longing and regret. “You would know,” he said quietly.
“We’ve been friends forever, so I would,” she agreed, and glanced at the empty chair. “Can I sit?”
He wanted her to…except hecouldn’t. Maybe, he was a motherfucker to allow jealousy to rear its green-eyed ugly head and overwhelm his other feelings. But she’d hurt him deeply. Nardo aside, he couldn’t forget Harley leaving with Ryan and his cousin never returning a merefive days ago.
“I can’t.Youcan’t. There’s nothing left between us—”
“Friendship,” she said.
“Not so much if you aren’t honest with me,” he said tiredly. How many times would he have to repeat those words to her? “And definitely not if you don’t believe inmyhonesty.”
“I’m sorry—”
“Save it,” he inserted. Her meaningless apologies were a tired song, too. “You walked out of my house less than a week ago with Ryan and he never returned.” Bitterness assailed him. Given everything, all that had passed between him and Harley, all that had happened to Mom and Reb, he should’ve been over his pain, disillusionment, and anger. Since becoming so immersed in the club, he needed Harley now more than ever. He just didn’t want her. “That speaks volumes. Yet, you’ll deny it.”
Shame crossed her face and he gritted his teeth. “What do you want me to say, CJ?”
What she did in private and with who shouldn’t be used to humiliate her. He wanted her happy. Not ashamed.
“Tell me please,” she whispered, her voice soft and vulnerable, touching him. Frightening him. He couldn’t handle trusting her again and then having her stab him in the back. “I don’t know what to say. Tell me–”
“The truth,” he interrupted. He wasn’t judge, jury, and executioner, but he wasn’t a fucking jackass either. “Tell me the fucking truth, Harley. Why the fuck did you sleep with that motherfucker?”
The vulnerability in her eyes just about killed him. But she wasn’t crying and she hadn’t turned into a raving lunatic. “Ryan or Nardo?” she asked quietly.
“Forget it,” he said tiredly. “We’ve been over this too.”
“About Nardo. Not about Ryan.”
A curious note in her voice caught CJ’s attention and he studied her. So it was like that? All the better. Maybe, he couldfinally exorcise her from his heart knowing she cared about Ryan. “It’s okay, bae. Truly. If you like Ryan, I’m happy for you. All I’ve ever wanted is your happiness, Harley.”
“But I miss you,” she said, noting her words—her lack of denial. “Please don’t shut me out. I want…” She glanced away. “Watching Mattie and Rebel share secrets and spend time together hurt me so much. I felt left out and it made me so resentful. Then, when Aunt Zoann found out what happened to Aunt Meggie and Rebel, she screamed. It was…it was…” A faraway look entered her eyes, and she shook her head. “It was the most awful sound I ever heard. Uncle Val left the moment he got the alert and he called her and…Devon and me went running to the kitchen. Aunt Zoann could hardly get the words out that Rebel was unconscious because Rule tried to drown her. The house was in chaos. The only thing worse was when Grant told me you overdosed. Except then it was just me when he came over.” She wrapped her arms around her waist. “I don’t know what…I can’t explain…first you and now Rebel. It’s so awful.”
“The grim reaper’s stalking the Caldwell kids,” CJ said glumly, then thought of Mom. “Our entire family.”
“It seems so,” Harley agreed, soft and subdued. “ Once Aunt Zoann told us, my first thought was to call you. Then, suddenly, I was alone. They all left me. They didn’t ask if I wanted to go. I didn’t know how I’d get to the hospital. I called Daddy and he said he was busy. Mommie was dressing to get to the hospital. I’m deathly afraid to call Lolly. All I could think about was how much a part of my life you and Rebel have been. How much I missed you. How much I loved Aunt Meggie. Then, Grant and Rory rang the doorbell. Mattie told them to get me. Rory saw my face and hugged me. Grant still was only performing a favor for a family member instead of acting as my step-uncle…”
CJ and Harley exchanged glances and then fell into peals of laughter at the absurdity of the family connections.
“I’m sorry, CJ. Truly, truly sorry for all my bad behavior. For my jealousy and my sense of entitlement—”
“CJ—”
Ember LeBan interrupted Harley mid-apology, drawing CJ’s attention away from his former friend. The teacher registered Harley’s presence and cleared her throat. “Er, Miss Banks.” Drawing herself up, she offered CJ a tentative smile. “Mr. Caldwell.”
CJ nodded.“Ms. LeBan,” he responded politely.
Seeing Harley frozen in her spot, her expression blank. CJ waited for her explosion. Instead the silence in the cafeteria dawned on him, a repeat performance of the Torie, Dad, and Rebel saga, only this time he was the star attraction.
