Page 19 of Slayer Mom
I exhaled a breath I’d been holding. The idea of vampires was too terrifying, but at the same time, if there was some kind of organized structure, it made it easier to handle. I understood bureaucracy. “So, shiny lady was supposed to keep the zombie numbers down, but didn’t? Shouldn’t the Grand Master have executed her or something?”
“He’s busy with more interesting things. I mean, he delegates, so he doesn’t have to worry about small things like proliferating lesser zombies.”
“Tom, it makes no sense. Why did the zombie mark me in the first place? Why didn’t she just chomp my brains? How long did it take to mark me? It must have taken some time that would be better spent killing me.”
“Infecting. You’re marked for infection. Your mark would last after you were infected, which would offer you some protection, so that zombie wanted to keep you alive, or at least undead.”
I suddenly got a blinding headache. Maybe it was from the exploding building, but somehow I doubted it. “Why would a zombie want to keep anyone aliveor undead? Am I like someone they wanted to adopt or use as a cook or something?”
“The zombie social structure is set up a lot more chaotically than the vampires, but someone somewhere must have ordered that you be marked. Maybe it’s because you were in my theater, and they thought you were me. A slayer zombie would be ironic. Maybe the zombie queen appreciates irony.”
I thumped my head on the van’s floor. “Zombie queen? So, can I go visit her and ask her to remove the marking?”
“If you knew where she was, and if you could get a meeting without getting killed, and if she’s capable of removing the marking, but those are a lot of ifs.”
“And the Grand Master? Would he be able to remove the marking?”
“Ah, Lucy, I love that you’re asking questions about that world, but that direction isn’t productive. The Grand Master is busy. He hates being disturbed from his busy work ruling the undead world. If you did get an audience with him, he’d probably torture you for bothering him.”
“But after he tortured me, maybe he’d give me a solution to my problem.”
“You’re thinking about him as an administrator, not a monster who thinks of you as a tasty snack. If he did like you, he could turn you into a vampire, which would probably solve the marking issue, but isn’t a long-term solution, or rather it is a very, very long-term solution, as in eternal.”
“What is a solution, Tom? Am I supposed to just continue slaying all the zombies until eventually they stop attacking me because they’re all dead?”
“Well, you wouldn’t end up a vampire, and it’s a pretty fun job.”
“No, Tom, that was not a fun job! That vampire chick cut my face!”
The tires screeched as he pulled over on the side of the road. He wasted no time climbing in back and pulling out the first aid kit I’d used to sew up his arm. He pulled out a bottle and opened it with his teeth then pounded it on his palm, only to frown at it in dismay.
“It’s all dried up. Last time she got me, she had poison on her claws. I don’t suppose that’s changed in ten years. I had to break into the Grand Master’s warehouse to get the antidote. I was out of it for a long time while I recovered. Had some crazy hallucinations. They weren’t the fun kind.”
I had no idea that there were fun kinds. You learn something every day. Like vampires. Zombies. Poisoned claws. “Seriously? Why would a vampire use poison? It’s overkill.”
“I think she secretes it. Yeah, overkill is right.”
“How dangerous is it to break into the Grand Master’s warehouse?”
“I don’t understand the question. If you get caught, it’s death. If you don’t get caught, it’s no problem.”
Seriously? I was going to kill him. “How hard is it to not get caught?”
“Well, if I caused a distraction, you should be able to sneak in and get it without too much trouble, because all the security would be dealing with me.” He handed me the bottle. “And you can replace it with this, so it’s not immediately noticeable that it was taken.”
“Or I could cause the distraction and you could steal it, since you know the layout.”
“To be blunt, I’ll be taken eventually, during which you need to find somewhere quiet and secure to hide while you take the antidote. Otherwise…” He drew his thumb across his throat and gave me a cheerful smile.
“What will they do to you?”
“I’m a human, so if I don’t act like I know that they’re monsters, I’ll be fine. If they follow their usual process, they’ll call the local police and have me taken in for vandalism.”
Great, so Tom was going to deface a vampire mogul’s building. No sweat. “What about the explosions? Aren’t they going to investigate that?”
“They’ll expect the vamp we blew up to check it. Like I told you, that’s not where she was supposed to be. We’ve got at least a few hours before they’re on their guard against renegade slayers. Actually, even after they learn about the explosion, they’re not likely to blame it on me. I’ve worked hard to keep a low profile. Mostly I haven’t been working hard, just keeping my neighborhood clean.”
“Which is why I was attacked inside your theater.”
