Page 22 of Slayer Mom
I called the window replacement place and then cleaned up the paint. I had a lot more energy than I’d had since I was a teenager. Everything was easy. I was stronger, faster, and more energetic. That antidote really was some super drug. I had to patch a lot of places on the walls and then I was faced with a big chip he’d taken out of the stone pillar. How had he done that? That’s the same swing that must have gone out the window.
I found epoxy in the garage and was finishing up my patch job when the doorbell rang. I went to the door, picking up a big golf club on my way because zombies, you know? I opened the door and two guys with a lot of facial hair and wearing coveralls with theglass place’s name on the chest stood there, waiting to be invited in. Like they were vampires.
“Hi. How are you? You sure came quickly.”
“That’s what we’re known for. Do you want us to get started?” the shorter guy said, looking past me. “I’ve got my kid’s game to get to later.”
“Oh. Of course. Please come in. The broken window is in here.” I led them to the hall. They set down the piece of glass they’d been carrying and got to work. They’d replace the entire window instead of just that pane, because it was armed, wired, so it would notify the security if it broke. Security must have come by earlier.
I went into the kitchen and started a nice roast for dinner. Hazen needed comfort food to help him cope with the shock of losing his job. It had to be as bad as finding out about zombies for someone like him.
“Mrs. Darnell, we’re about finished,” the short guy called.
I put the roasting pan in the oven and went in to arrange payment and let them out. As soon as I walked in the room, I saw the short guy, but not the tall one. I smelled him, though, or sensed him, or something, so when he jumped at me from the staircase, I ducked and grabbed the big club I’d put to the side. I came up swinging, hitting him in the temple as hard as I could. Vampires were hard to kill.
He went flying and then the short guy was on me. He got blurry, and then it was this monster wolf/man with claws and muzzle all mixed together in a way that would have made me freak out if I wasn’t already desensitized to monstrosities.
I just wanted to kill him.
How do you kill werewolves? No idea, but beating it to death with a club sounded like a good start. I was fast, slipping away from the beast and ducking around him before his claws could get me.He was roaring at me like I shouldn’t have hurt his buddy.
He jumped, and I swung, but he wasn’t aiming for me, but the club. He got it in his jaws and yanked it away from me, throwing it so it slid along the floor into the wall. He pounced on me, knocking me down and gripping my throat with his teeth. Before he could bite down, I shoved up, using my handy dandy slayer’s knife, that I’d somehow gotten out of its sheath as soon as I hit the ground. It cut through him like butter, through his brain and out his forehead in a spray of blood and gore that got all over me. So disgusting. But it beat having my throat ripped out. It seemed like he’d hesitated, but I wasn’t going to think about that.
I shoved him off me and then went over to the other guy. I’m a big believer in the justice system for humans, but there was no way I was trying to restrain a werewolf who was bigger than that terrifying monster and wouldn’t take me for an easy target a second time.
I took care of him in several ways, draining all his blood out, sticking my knife deep in his eye socket, and stabbing his chest a bunch of times. His body sizzled when I stabbed it. It must be from my special slayer metal.
I sat back on my heels once the job of killing was done, and then sighed heavily as the new mess struck me. I’d have to do something with the bodies before Hazen got home, but first, I had to clean up.
Once that was done, I pulled clean black hoodies over them, then dragged them into the garage where I’d parked my car. I was so strong, I had no trouble getting them around. Good thing, too. They were very heavy.
I drove down to the security gate. “Tim, I have the glass replacement guys in the back seat.” Wearingsunglasses and hoodies. Also dead. “Can you call a tow truck to get their truck? It’s not working, and I’d hate for it to still be there when Hazen got home. Thank you!” I waved and drove through the gate before he got too close a look at my backseat passengers.
seven
. . .
I drovedown to the docks, the ones with zombies lurking, and called Tom. He didn’t answer. What should I do with the bodies? He’d burned the zombies and the vampire. Burning seemed like a good idea, but driving to the movie theater back lot so I could use his burn barrel felt intrusive. Also dangerous if vampires were around his place after he’d gotten taken in by them. I didn’t like waiting in the car with them, particularly in the backseat, where it would be so easy for them to grab me and make me freak out if they came back to life.
A loud thud hit the roof, and I screamed. I screamed again when the freaky face of the vampire from the other night peered at me through the windshield, but upside down, hands on the windshield, feet on the roof.
Once I’d gotten over the first wave of fright, I honked at him and turned on the windshield wipers.
“Come out and talk, or I’ll put a hole through your windshield or the roof,” he said right before he got bopped by the wiper.
Could he really put a hole through my car? It seemed unlikely. “How did you find me?”
He didn’t answer, except to disappear and thenreappear by the back door. He punched through the window in a spray of glass, setting off the car alarm, and then opened the door and started examining the dead bodies, now covered in glass.
He wasn’t threatening me, probably because I was a weak human who he could deal with later. “Where did you find these gentlemen?”
“In my living room. They were replacing a window, then they got gross and hairy. Not that it’s any of your business.”
He pulled back the hoods and sunglasses, so he could examine the death wounds. “They attacked you in your own home? But they didn’t kill you. They wanted to capture you, not kill. Don’t you think that’s interesting, that the zombies marked you, and the werewolves tried to kidnap you?”
“And the vampires tried to kill me,” I added.
He showed me his fangs. “Vampire. One, not multiple.”
