Page 53 of Slayer Mom
As fun as it would be to not exterminate zombies every night, I had to get home in case Wat showed up, and I needed to not be a zombie.
I swam with my knife, only killing three of the monsters on my way to faster water. They weren’t the best swimmers, but there were so many of them. They clung together in groups like logs, and they didn’t need to breathe. Could I make a raft out of zombies? Probably. I had zip ties in my special supply pack with the lock picks. I swam to the closest stack of zombies and started killing and stacking. It was good camouflage to slide along in the water with the zombie raft. Super disgusting, but effective, hiding in plain sight if the zombies were looking.
When I was far enough downriver that the shore sloped down and wasn’t teeming with the undead, I kicked to shore and then took some time to coat myself liberally in mud to keep down the marking scent. It was an incredibly sexy look. I should do this for Halloween, sexy mud-ooze zombie slayer costume.
I staggered up far enough that I could sink down and catch my breath. I really needed to treat the bites, but I was so tired, and starving, and had no idea how far downriver I’d gone.
Well, I wasn’t going to find out lying around all night. I headed inland, ran into a fence, and then wandered on until I saw lights ahead. The spongy ground wasn’t solid enough for buildings, but it didn’t take long to hit blacktop, a road, and civilization. I didn’tlook so good. How far was I from the movie theater? Ten miles? Twenty? No, probably not that far, but it would take too long to get there. I had to go into one of those stores and not scare the people half to death, or I’d get shot, or at least thrown out.
I scrubbed my face with some weeds and wiped the mud off my arms as well as I could before I tucked my knife under my pants leg and then headed towards civilization.
It was so awkward to ask to use the phone at the gas station. I explained about getting lost on my night hike from my group and falling in the river.
The guy adjusted his ball cap and frowned seriously. “What bit you?”
I looked down at my arm and licked my lips. “Catfish? Shark? I don’t know. There are some strange things in the water.”
He leaned over the counter, pale blue eyes watery and intense. “On the night shift, I’ve seen things you would not believe.”
I tsked. “I believe. There are some freaky water monsters. Lochness? Totally real.”
He nodded his head. “It’s true! And we have some old monsters swimming up and down the Mississippi that could take off your head. I’m not talking snapping turtles, but there are some that get big enough to take off your arm.”
“No lie. Can I use your—”
The door jangled as it opened and Brika came in, soaking wet, and looking very inhuman.
“Oh, never mind. Brika, what happened to you? Did you lose the group too? Toby was going to let me use his phone.”
“No need. There’s a car outside. You need to go to the hospital to get those bites looked at. You never know what monsters are swimming around down there.”
I laughed, but the idea of turning into a zombie wasn’t super funny for some reason. The look on Toby’s face as he stared at Brika was pretty hilarious, though. She could bench press him, and he was not a small guy.
“Thank you,” I said, smiling at Toby.
“Sure,” he said, not taking his eyes off Brika. Was he enamored or just terrified? It was so hard to tell between those two things.
I headed outside and then stopped when I saw the limo. The Grand Master was inside that car. I had the sudden urge to run in the opposite direction and never stop, but I was bitten, and therefore needed the vile creature’s help.
The door opened, and I climbed inside, feeling self-conscious for getting all the beautiful leather muddy. The Grand Master was leaning over his knees, studying me, his face in shadows, fingers steepled.
“You look like a villain trying to be a supervillain, so you’re hitting all the right poses. Can you get the bites cleaned enough that I won’t turn? Shouldn’t you have sent Duke? He seemed to be your preferred infected flesh surgeon.”
“Duke is occupied. I sent him to kill the one who sent the hound to kill my exterminator.”
“Nice.” I sank into the upholstery and closed my eyes. I didn’t want to see him do whatever he was going to do, but he didn’t do anything.
I smelled something delicious, sweet, with notes of floral, like nectar only mixed with something dusky, dark, sandalwood or myrrh. I opened my eyes to see blood welling out of the Grand Master’s wrist.
I needed it! I lunged for his hand and bent to drink, only to have him hold my forehead firmly.
“What are you doing, Mrs. Darnell? You’re amarried woman. You don’t put your mouth on other men’s bare flesh.”
I straightened up and tried not to look like I’d been interested in his blood. “It’s not that I want to put my mouth on you, but why are you bleeding if I’m not supposed to drink?” The scent was still wafting around, tantalizing me, making me wobbly and bleary.
“My blood is for a lot of things. Drinking is not one of them. I’m the Grand Master. I drink others, I’m not drunk.”
I snickered. “Maybe you should be drunk. Your blood smells…” I shivered and scooted away from him.
