Page 69 of Slayer Mom
“That’s got to be the Jabberwocky,” Wat said, staring in awe at the creature. “Who’s riding it?”
That’s when our nice view got blocked by Brika and a dozen other vampires that knocked us back. I didn’t fall down that time, but seriously. In a pink bubble explosion, the vampires got knocked down, and then I once more had an extremely good view of the puppywocky and its creepy looking rider. When I say creepy, I mean a woman with long blond hair wearing shimmery gossamer webs that hung off her lithe and surgically enhanced body. Look, people should do what they want with their bodies, and if it makes you happy, more power to you, but she was just awkwardly perfect, like painfully beautiful. Maybe it would have been less awkward if she’d worn more clothing. The only thing she had on that wasn’t see-through was her crown.
“Ah, the Zombie Queen,” I muttered and brought up my knife like the enormous mouth coming at me would notice a tiny prick like my dagger. She was pretty like Hazen was pretty, only pink and green instead of black and silver. Her ears were long and pointed, but I couldn’t decide what kind of animal she’d be. And she wanted my husband.
A strong arm came around me, pulling me against his side, and there he was. No, they weren’t a matching set because somehow, as improbable as it was, he was more stunning than she was by severaldegrees. He’d taken off the sunglasses and his eyes had red mixed with the silver.
“I’m glad to hear that you find me more attractive than the zombie queen. For a moment, I was worried.”
I would have scowled at him, but he smiled at me and I couldn’t do anything but smile back stupidly. His smile felt good, like a physical caress, which left me wanting him an embarrassing amount. I was too old and married to get giddy about sex, but there you go.
“I am going to leave you with Duke and Agrippa. It will only take a moment,” he murmured, and brushed my cheek with silky fingers before strong arms grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back in a blur while my husband turned to face the zombie queen and her puppy dragon.
“You marked my wife,” Hazen said, voice agonizingly attractive. Did he affect everyone as much as he did me? That would be so awkward for him. No wonder he had all those other weird identities that were less hot.
The Zombie Queen smiled brilliantly. “Did I? That’s right, I did, but it was fifteen years ago that I gave sweet Charlene that assignment. You remember her. She was one of your favorites, but your weak human killed her, burned her like she was nothing. I was so jealous of the way you favored her. Why do you like making me jealous, Gawvy?”
Gawvy? Ew. Maybe it was just the way she said it, but, seriously, it was the most awful pet name in the world. Hopefully, that was his pet name and not his actual name. Maybe it was short for Genghis.
“Fifteen years ago, you sent someone to mark my precious love?”
“That’s right, but I never heard of her until recently, when your precious love left you.”
“She didn’t leave me.”
“But she did. I had Gloria’s mind, and she was very clear. You’re boring, dull, a deadly snooze, my dearest Gawvy. And she is nothing remotely remarkable, unlovable even by her own parents, but she did give you those two delicious little wonders. They’d make such pretty pets.” Ha. I knew she wanted my children as pets.
“You will not succeed in this battle. If you draw it out, you will lose many of your pretty pets. I am not weak.”
She pouted. “No, you aren’t. You must have bled your favorites quite dry to replenish your strength, and you put off all your human weakness. Except that she is your weakness, and she’s still human, with my taint spreading through her.” She pursed her luscious green lips. She had green lips, green ear tips, and pink skin, pink pastel like a sunset, not like real skin but like it was painted.
Hazen smiled at her. Ah, the brain broke at that smile, except why was he smiling at her? Jealousy. How could I be jealous of someone who looked that weird and magical?
My jealousy didn’t get a chance to really bloom, because Hazen pulled his arms wide, and the world was ripped apart. More importantly, the Jabberwocky was ripped apart, bits and pieces, tiny chunks that wriggled and squirmed, trying to get back together while Hazen faced the Zombie Queen without her steed. She laughed and then there were zombies, so many zombies. I fought and lost track of everything else, barely able to keep the chomping mouths at bay. They were invigorated by their nearness to their queen.
I was knocked down a few times, but rolled back up, my armor keeping the bites from my flesh. A zombie came out of nowhere, mouth open as it triedto eat my face, but a fireball came from the side, and then Wat was on it, snarling and slashing with his clawed fingers while I rolled back to my feet.
It went on and on. I couldn’t tell who was winning, couldn’t tell anything other than that there were way too many zombies. Wat and Lock were impressive, but even they were getting tired by the time the sky started lightening.
The Queen’s shrill laughter was probably sexy, but it just made me want to stab her face. Yes, fine, I was jealous. If she wasn’t so clearly psychotic, Hazen would definitely prefer going to bed with her.
She said, “My darling, you have won the day and your sad little world’s freedom. You can have your little human pet, and your more interesting ones. Soon enough, you will beg me to take you and make you my king.”
He sniffed. “That’s the craziest thing you’ve ever said. I am married.”
“To a human. She will die soon enough and you will be lost in the grief that nothing could part. That’s the price of love.” She rose in the air, unfurling long wings like ribbons, and then she shimmered and all of her pets were gone, except the zombies. Seriously? She’d just abandoned her foot soldiers to be mown down by the exterminators? Whatever.
I wiped gore off my brow and refocused on the job. Man. It was like a thirty-hour labor and delivery, but it was better to take care of them now than later.
“Mom, can we go home now?” Wat asked, sounding exhausted.
I turned and smiled at him. “You go ahead. I’ve got to finish this up.”
“There’s no end,” Lock said, also exhausted. It would be useful if the other vampires helped out with the zombies, but they all looked tired, probably from feeding their master, and when they looked at me,flashes of red showed how much they’d like to eat me. This wasn’t remotely sustainable, a human as the Grand Master’s exterminator, but whatever. I’d at least prove that I could kill zombies.
I raised my arm to slash another zombie when a sharp pain went through my left arm, the one that the zombie had bitten. For a blurry moment, I thought I saw a rabbit running through the shambling zombie dead, but I shook my head and refocused on the work.
Wat and Lock weren’t doing much, arguing about how many zombies they’d killed, and what was the best way to kill them when, finally, I ran out of zombies. There were a few shuffling around in left field, but without a direct opponent, my legs went out and I sat down heavily on the disgusting turf. It would have to be replaced.
