Page 70 of Slayer Mom
“Everyone off the field,” Brika said, her voice loud, bossy, and impossible to follow, because I couldn’t stand up.
“Is being a vampire always going to be like this?” Wat asked me. “Just endless exhaustion as you go on and on forever?”
I would have patted his head, but my arms were done. “You’d have to ask your father. Do you think they’d mind if I took a little nap right here?”
The most beautiful vampire in the world was standing above me, looking annoyingly beautiful. He scooped me up into his arms like I was a little child and tenderly plucked a bit of zombie brains off my cheek.
“You are the most conscientious exterminator I’ve ever had. It makes me want to promote you.” Mm. That voice. I wasn’t sure if it was more seductive or alarming in its unnaturalness.
“I’m not good at anything else,” I mumbled.
“I didn’t say you were good at it, just that you were conscientious.”
I scowled at him. “I’m perfectly good at killing zombies!”
He smiled at me. “I meant that you are much better than good, of course. How could I think of insulting my favorite exterminator?”
“You don’t have to think to insult, you just do it, like falling off a puppy dragon.”
“I’ve never fallen off a puppy dragon, so I’ll take your word for it. You are so adorable, all covered in bits of zombie and deliriously exhausted. I want to kiss your forehead and tuck you into my bed and make you delirious for other reasons.”
I pushed against his chest, but he didn’t let me go. “Enough of that. We’re not hopping in bed until I’ve figured out what being married to the Grand Master entails, and that I want that kind of life. You can’t lie to me about everything and expect me to shift gears without considering whether I’m going in the right direction.”
“You said that you’d try.”
“Exactly. I expect you to try as well.”
He blinked at me. “What precisely am I supposed to try? I’ve already been as human as I can be. I can periodically become the Hazen you knew, but knowing that he isn’t what I actually am would eventually destroy your feelings, anyway.”
“You think you’re so smart.”
“Of course. I married you.”
I sighed heavily and rested my head against his shoulder. “There you go, being ridiculous again.”
“For crying out loud.”
“Exactly.”
He kissed my hair. “Mm. Nutmeg and zombie brains. Has there ever been a more evocative combination?”
“I need a salt soak.”
“I’m going to take you to my castle.”
“Does it have a better tub or better salts?”
“Both.”
“In that case, how can I argue?”
“You can’t. I mean, you could, but why would you?”
I smiled and closed my eyes, only for a moment, but I woke up sliding into a deliciously warm bath. I barely woke up because it had a padded back rest and was made for napping. Seriously, he had not been lying about the better tub, and the salts were also better, like invigorating and relaxing at the same time. I was safe, happy, and had held my own as the Grand Master’s exterminator. I’d earned my rest, and I was going to take it.
eighteen
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