Page 17 of Fault Lines
He looked almost amused. “You won’t. You love me too much for that.” He tilted his head, studying me. “Would you want to try this, too?”
I shrugged, but he saw right through me. I’d never so much as wanted to touch another man.
“Then it’s settled,” Cam said at last. “Don’t expect me home Thursday nights.”
“You won’t stay out all night?”
He shook his head. “Of course not. Overnights are for us. That won’t change.”
He wrapped his fingers through mine, his hand warm and steadying.
“I won’t talk about it,” he added. “You’ll never have to hear details.”
“Thursday is soon. How are you going to find someone on such short notice?”
“There are apps for that,” he said. “Plenty of them.”
I stared down at our empty plates, the smell of dinner thick in the air. I wondered how it was going to taste, knowing what Thursday would bring.
Chapter Six
Thursday arrived too soon, like a deadline I’d tried desperately to ignore but felt ticking beneath everything. Dread trailed me all week, a cold, silent wavering thing in my stomach. Cam was around more than usual, but I kept away from him. I didn’t know how to act around him now, didn’t trust my voice not to splinter if I tried to pretend things hadn’t changed. If I got too close, I’d probably end up ugly crying and begging him not to go through with this.
I stood at the kitchen counter that morning, absently waiting for the kettle, lost in a tangle of hope and what-ifs. Maybe he’d come to his senses at the last minute. Maybe he’d see that I was all he needed. I heard his heavy footfalls on the stairs and turned as he came in, hair still damp from his shower after his early run. He smiled. Said, “Morning, baby,” and pressed a kiss to my cheek.
I handed him his coffee, black, just the way he liked it.
“So,” I managed. “Today’s the day.”
He winced, just a flicker, then set his jaw. “Let’s not talk about it. I don’t want to upset you.”
Did he really think I wasn’t already a mess? I was boiling inside, an ache so awful I could almost taste it. Was there already someone waiting in the wings, or would he pick her last minute, some chance encounter during the day that would end with himin her bed? I shook my head, as if that could scatter the awful thoughts clinging to me.
I tried to sound breezy. “What time do you expect to be home?”
“I don’t know. Late.” He didn’t look at me. “Don’t wait up for me, but I’ll come home.”
He drained his coffee and rinsed the mug—a polite, practiced routine. I flinched when he came up behind me all of a sudden, arms warm on my waist, breath on my neck. His lips landed on my bare skin, and I almost moaned right there. It had been so long since he’d touched me like that.
He murmured, low, “You should go out with Rachel tonight. Don’t just sit here thinking about me all night, torturing yourself. Promise?”
I nodded. “Okay.”
“Good. I’ve got to get to work, I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”
I said nothing, but he turned me gently, catching my lips with his. The kiss started soft, then grew greedy, tongues tangling, heat rising. I needed him, needed proof that he still wanted me. That I was still his, even now.
But when he pulled away, I felt the tear slip out before I could stop it. Then more followed, a silent wash I couldn’t control.
“Please,” I choked out, voice wrecked. “Don’t do this. Don’t do this to us. You can still change your mind.”
He stared at me, Adam’s apple bobbing. “Baby…” His voice broke, almost like he hurt too. “I have to. I just…” He dropped a kiss on my forehead and stepped away quick. “I’ll see you later.”
And then, just like that, he was gone.
∞∞∞
I wandered, sidewalk under my feet, not really thinking about where I was going. There was nowhere. I should have called Rachel, but I didn’t want to hear what she might say, even if she wouldn’t say it out loud. I’d made my choice, and now I had to live with it.
