Page 47 of Pike
Not physically, of course because the place wasn’t that big, but the silence was louder now. The tension was thicker in the air. Fear and paranoia clogged the rooms like excess furniture. And when the sun went down, every creak of the well-worn wood sounded like heavy, threatening footsteps. Every gust of wind set my heart racing in a fight or flight kind of way that made it impossible to sleep. Instead I stayed up, wide awake all night, jumping at every little sound.
Long after Gemma went to bed, I curled up on the sofa and stared at the door, the windows in search of movement, of any sign that the boogeymen out to get me were closer than they appeared.
I wondered how he was, what he was doing.
God, I missed him.
It wasn’t just the comfort of his body next to mine, on the bed or the sofa, but it was some of that. It wasn’t just the quiet way he went around the cabin and made sure all the doors and windows were locked. The way he instinctively protected both of us, but especially Gemma. The way he snatched her away from the hot, simmering pot of the stove without looking up from what he was doing. The way he hooked an arm around her waist when she moved to jump into the lake without her floaties. Even distracted, he was always thinking about her safety.
And yeah, he thought about me too in small ways that I never would’ve guessed mattered so much because I’d never experienced them before. I felt his absence keenly, like a missing limb, but I pushed forward because I had to.
I was fine. I reminded myself constantly that I was fine, that I had to be fine because I was all me and Gemma had.
For now,I said to myself. This wasn’t a permanent situation, Pike would be back soon.
We would survive.
There was no reason to worry as much as I did, not when Pike had left behind everything I needed to keep us safe. Everything other than a steely resolve, but he’d given me belief in myself, which was just as helpful as the self-defense training that left us both bruised and breathing heavy.
I hoped I didn’t need it, but I was grateful to have all the tools I needed, on the off chance I needed them.
Satisfied that the cabin was safe and secure, I made a mug of tea, letting the motions of preparing it soothe my mind while keeping my hands busy. I smiled as I finally let myself relax, thinking about what my younger self would say if she saw me making tea to calm my nerves. She’d call me an old lady and tell me to grab a shot of whiskey instead.
She was fun. And reckless.
And she was free.
That was something I hadn’t been in too many years. Back then I was bubbly and naïve, but ready to grab life by the balls and make her my bitch. And Marcus had seen me comingfrom a mile away. He’d seen how hungry I was for love and in me he saw his perfect target.
I knew he was trouble with that sexy, bad boy smile, and that mouthwatering swagger, but I thought it was the good kind of bad boy. I’d been too naïve back then to know the difference and Marcus had swooped in so carefully and swept me off my feet like a real life Prince Charming on a motorcycle. I’d fallen hard and fast, buying all of his charm and his lies without question.
He hadn’t become a monster overnight, it was a gradual thing that grew over time. The love disappeared and hate sprung up in its place. Then there were more and more rules for the house, my conduct, for everything. He constantly added things to the list and he wasn’t shy about telling me when I fell short.
I should have left the first time he raised his hand to me. But like many other people trapped in abusive relationships I thought he would change. That it was a one-off. That I’d made him angry. But by the time I realized he’d never change, it was too late. I just couldn’t see the way out for me and Gemma.
So, I stayed.
For too damn long and now my life was the mess that it was. Because of him, and the bad choices I made that led me to him.
But you didn’t break me, Marcus.
He didn’t break me but that night, when I finally managed a few hours of sleep, it was Marcus who invaded my dreams, turning them into nightmares. Except this time I didn’t run from him and I didn’t hide. I faced him head on, refusing to look away. Refusing to hide.
It wasn’t a peaceful sleep, but it was enough for now.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Pike
Everything felt wrong as I got closer to Steel City. It wasn’t the weather, the night air was perfectly cool, leaving the road warm from the unusually hot day and the ride had been a good one. It wasn’t my bike either, she ran as smooth as ever. But something crawled under my skin. It was an unsettling feeling I couldn’t shake no matter what I did.
Somebody was watching me.
I couldn’t see it, but I felt it all around me. Here on the desert road I was completely exposed.
Maybe it was the guilt over leaving Chloe and Gemma, that feeling hadn’t left me since I got on my bike. I knew they’d be safe up there as long as Chloe was diligent about protection, which I knew she would be. Iknewall that, but it didn’t make one fucking bit of difference as my bike ate up the road.
My instincts, my gut, all said that leaving was a mistake.
