Page 189 of Small Town Firsts
A damn fine one, in and out of bed. Fuck performance issues. Mine had been spot-on.
Sage hugged Laurie and carried her to an empty booth. “How about a nice cup of fruit while your daddy and Ally talk?”
“Ice scream. Daddy promised ice scream.” Laurie glanced my way and banged a tiny fist on the table. “With sprinkles if I was good.”
“Were you good?”
“Yeah, put a hot fudge sundae with sprinkles on my tab. A small one,” I said out of the side of my mouth.
Sage nodded. “Will do.”
Ally was already headed down the hall that led to the bathrooms, the break room, and the storage room, so I followed, figuring she’d aim for the break room. Instead she went right for the storage area.
The second I shut the door, she whirled on me.
“What was I supposed to say? Everyone knows, Seth.Everyone. Someone must’ve seen us at the hotel, or hell if I know.”
I started to reply, but Ally wasn’t finished.
“They asked me questions all shift. I had to make a joke out of it, so people didn’t think you and I could—that we could ever be?—”
“Had to make a joke out of me, you mean.” I tucked my thumbs in the pockets of my jeans. “Think you got your wish. Probably half the town is now wondering how I even managed to make my daughter.”
She bowed her head and her jaunty ponytail drooped over one shoulder. “I’m sorry. It was just a joke to save face and I guess I went too far.”
“Save face why? Even if someone got the idea that we were together, why not just roll with it?”
“Roll with it?Are you crazy?”
“I must be, considering the last week.” I stepped forward and forced the irritation from what she’d told people out of my head. When compared with my recent sins, it didn’t really rank. “I texted you that I was sorry.”
She tucked a stray curl behind her ear. “For what, exactly?”
“I never should have asked you to have my baby.”
Ally’s gaze shot to the door as if she expected it to blow open at any moment. “About time you realize that.”
“It was completely unfair of me. I’m not enough to be both mom and dad to a new child. I mean, with Laurie, it just worked out that way, but to set up a situation where I’m the only one making all the decisions for another child isn’t right. I’m simply not enough.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Ally stepped forward, going toe to toe with me. “Laurie is a happy, well-adjusted little girl. She adores you.”
“I’m not her mother. I can never be her mother.” I swallowed hard. “No matter how much I love her, it’s not the same as?—”
“You think a child knows the difference as long as they’re treasured? Sure, they might wonder what if, but the lack comes from not being loved enough, not from whether the person who tucks them in at night was mommy or daddy. I didn’t know my father, and I grew up just fine with only my mom. She was everything.” Ally gripped my wrists and jerked my arms until my eyes snapped up to meet hers. “She was way more than enough.”
“Your mother was amazing.”
“You’re right. She was. And so are you. Laurie couldn’t be any luckier if she had two parents. No one could love that little girl more than you do. Just like you’d love that new baby. I never doubted for a second that you were enough. It wasn’t that.”
“I didn’t know you were a virgin. If I’d known…”
“It’s not about that either.” Her nails scraped my wrists, and the bite of pain made my cock spring to life. I wasn’t proud of it, but this woman was like a goddamn torch to my libido.
One taste of her hadn’t been enough. Would never be enough.
“Then?” I asked softly, fighting the urge to cup her cheek so she had no choice but to look into my eyes. I hated that she never fully looked at me anymore. That was a new thing too.
So much of this was new, and she wasn’t the only one struggling to keep her footing. With every step, I felt as if I was sinking in quicksand.
