Page 221 of Small Town Firsts
I longed to hear them so badly, and it was way too easy to believe him while my shields were down. Exactly why I didn’t want to stay the night with him.
Pillow talk was dangerous. Recriminations were even worse.
He rolled me over and nudged my thighs open.
“Seth.” I wasn’t sure I could resist him and he must have heard the warning in my voice. He settled down until I couldn’t move, but he didn’t slip inside.
He could have.
He was hard and I was weak when it came to this part of us.
Instead, he cupped my face. “I love that you slept with me all night. That you allowed me to fill you up and hold you close. That even now we may have a family growing between us. But that’s not all this is about. It hasn’t been for a damn long time.”
I closed my eyes.
I couldn’t face those dark eyes. I knew he loved me in his way. The hugeness of our history would always be full of complicated emotions. But there had been so many changes around us and between us.
“Ally.”
His voice was low and patient.
I tried to move my hips a little. Maybe I could distract him.
He groaned and buried his face in my neck. “No fair. And I’m not letting you distract me. Open your eyes, babe.”
The different endearment startled me enough for my eyes to pop open. Yesterday he’d called me baby. Now babe.
The couple vibes were everywhere, but I didn’t dare believe them. If I did and he was just being affectionate—like he might with a friend he loved but wasn’t in love with and liked banging—I wasn’t sure I could survive it.
“There you are. Don’t shut me out. I don’t like it. That’s not what we’re about. We’ve always had each other’s back.”
“I know.” I hated that my voice was so tentative and shaky. He was right. I was the one changing things, not him. Well, minus his insane idea that had started all of this in the first place. But I was the one who couldn’t box up my emotions when it came to him any longer. “Things are different now.”
“Not for me.”
Well, they sure as hell were for me. Could he really not see that? Was this ever going to work between us if I had to pretend every day?
I leaned up to kiss him. To distract him so I could finally get some much-needed space, but he turned away from me. “Distracting me again. I don’t just want this. I love this part of us, but the family we’re creating is even more important.”
“For Laurie,” I said on an unsteady breath.
“Not just Laurie. For us. We both came from families that were a hot mess. I want Laurie to have an amazing mom as well as a sister. That’s because of you.”
I swallowed hard. Deep down, I’d never truly believed I would have the opportunity to be a mom. His little girl was more than I could’ve ever wished for. And if I couldn’t have all of Seth, at least I’d have a part of him.
A child between us could be enough. I hoped.
“I learned from the best.” I blinked away the rush of tears.
“You sure did. I wanted your mom to adopt me. One of the many reasons I want you in Laurie’s life. Can’t you see how perfect this is? How we are?”
“I’m so not my mother.”
“You’re even better.”
I tried to shift him off me. “Stop. I don’t need you to butter me up. I already said yes.”
“That’s not what this is.” He let me up, but didn’t move away. In fact, he reached for me, gripping my hair and dragging my gaze up to meet his. “I couldn’t imagine anyone else being the mother of my child. I wish you really were Laurie’s mother too, but I can’t wish away her mother because she’s part of Laurie. And Laurie is perfect just the way she is.”
