Page 145 of The Widower
If her goal was to piss me off, she nailed it—because for the first time, I decided to do the exercises the therapist prescribed right in front of everyone, instead of hiding away.But this time, I just embarrassed myself. I couldn’t even finish the damn routine.
I’m useless. My legs won’t listen to me.I can barely move the toes on my left foot, and trying to walk the circuit in front ofme feels impossible. Not even using my arms for support helps—I’ve lost strength in them too.
I’m screwed. My body’s screwed. And my mind? Don’t even get me started.
I shouldn’t have yelled at the therapist in front of the kids, shouting that nothing was working. He was just doing his job. But that’s who I am now—anger has become a part of me.
I didn’t need to see much to know how terrified the kids were. They bolted out of the room. I caught a glimpse of Hanna’s face—and for the first time, she looked afraid of me. That gutted me. Joshua looked at me like I was a stranger, and he wasn’t wrong. Before everything fell apart, I was a different man.
Everyone’s trying to help me, and here I am—too weak to handle even the first real challenge.
God, I wish I could just be normal again.
CHAPTER 33
“A true friend shows up at the right time—not with comforting words, but with the truth we don’t have the courage to hear.”
COLIN ADAMS
Days went by, and I kept clashing with Isabelle.
We were both at our breaking point—and I wasn’t helping—but this time, the one standing in front of me wasn’t her.
“Did you come here to throw something in my face too?Go ahead. I’m used to it.”
I stared at Henry, who was studying me from head to toe.
“Deep down, I know what you’re feeling.”
“Oh, do you?” I shot back, my voice dripping with sarcasm.
“Yes. You’re frustrated. At first, I couldn’t quite figure it out. I’m your friend, Colin, and even if it doesn’t look like it, I know you better than you think.”
“So what’s my problem, then?” I challenged.
“You want to get better but you can’t. You’re too proud to ask for help. You can’t do any of the exercises, and it’s killing you inside. I bet you even try when no one’s around, but you give up fast because you need to see instant results. From the moment I met you, I knew you were a man who needs things to happen now.But…”
He stopped. I couldn’t believe how much he’d figured out about me.
“…this battle you’re fighting won’t work that way,” he went on. “You need something you hate—patience. You won’t walk overnight, that’s impossible, Colin. You won’t wake up in a good mood tomorrow, you won’t suddenly have strength in your hands, and you won’t complete the rehab circuit they gave you. I could list so many ‘you won’ts’ that you’d probably give up right now.”
The way he spoke—it was different. I’d never heard him talk like that before.
“Only you have the power to recover. Not me, not Isabelle, not Joshua, not Hanna, not anyone else trying to help. Deep down, you know no one can do a damn thing for you. Only you.”
“Henry…”
“Trying to give strength to someone who doesn’t want help is the hardest thing in the world. That’s why I’m saying this fight depends on you. If you actually wanted our help, it’d be different. But you’ve gotten so used to being Colin Adams—the man who never needed anyone—that it’s destroying you, eating you alive from the inside.”
“I don’t need to hear this. You have no idea how hard it is not to be able to do those damn simple exercises.” I snapped, anger burning through me—because he was right. Henry was absolutely right about everything.
“You don’t need to hear it, but you will.”He stepped closer and placed a hand on my shoulder. “I know what this is like, my friend. But I also know that if you were still the Colin Adams I met years ago—the happy man who always put his family first—you’d be fighting not just for yourself, but for your kids. And you know what’s worse? You lost Maddison, but there’s a little girl here who still sees you as her father… and she’s heartbroken, hearing you yell at the people trying to help you. And Joshua—honestly, I don’t even know if he’ll ever get his father back.”
“What you’re saying is…”
“True? Serious? Brutal? I don’t care what you call it,” he cut in. “If hating me is what it takes for you to get better, so be it. Isabelle’s too kind to you. But listen carefully…” His face was so close to mine I could feel his breath. “If you keep acting like this,running from your own battles, then let me be perfectly clear—you don’t deserve her.”
We stood there for a few seconds, staring at each other, but no words came out of my mouth. What the hell was I supposed to say?
