Page 147 of The Widower
“Yes, you can.” I grabbed the handles of his chair, staring him down. “What do you want me to do? Be a mother and father to Joshua and Hanna while you sit there throwing tantrums about physical therapy? Are you really willing to throw your life away and abandon me like Hanna’s father did?”
His eyes flared with anger the second I said it. I knew I’d hit a nerve—but that was the truth, whether he wanted to hear it or not.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about!” he shouted.
“What’s wrong with me and men? Seriously, I’d love to know. I only fall for the wrong ones.”
“I’m not one of the wrong ones!”
“Then prove it! Do something for yourself!”
“I… can’t! Is that so hard to understand? You’re not in my place, you don’t know the pain I feel when I try—and besides the pain, I just… lock up. I can’t.”
“If it’s that hard, then you’d better find the strength somewhere, because Hanna and Joshua keep asking when you’re coming back. Every single day.”
“I’m right here.”
“No, you’re not! Instead of trying to get better, you’re doing the opposite—and it’s killing me inside because I don’t know how to help you. I need you. We all do. If you don’t want to do it for me, then do it for your son, who cries himself to sleep every night because of you!”
I knew I’d gone too far, but Colin needed a dose of reality in that stubborn head of his. I hadn’t said a single lie—Joshua grew more anxious every day, and his father kept pushing him away.
“Why are you telling me this?”
“If you don’t care about me enough to try, then do it for your son. I might not mean anything to you, but I know he does.”
“You make me hate you so damn much…” He closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath.
“I don’t care!” I crossed my arms, already expecting that reaction. It didn’t surprise me in the slightest.
“But at the same time, I love you so damn much.”
My eyes widened. Hearing those words…
I froze for a moment, unable to believe what had just come out of his mouth.
“Wait, did you just say you love me—or am I losing my mind?”
I had to be wrong. He’d never say that to someone like me, the woman who’d done nothing but irritate him since the day we met.
“Isabelle, you’re naïve if you really think I would’ve endured torture if I didn’t love the three of you.”
Colin turned his face toward the wall and went silent.
I took a step closer.
“Don’t come near me,” he said softly but firmly enough for me to hear.
I hesitated, but something stronger pushed me forward. I moved around his chair until I was standing in front of him, searching his face.
Colin was crying, though he tried desperately to hide it behind that stoic mask.
“I’ve told you before, but I’ll say it again: I love you, and I’m not going anywhere. But please, if I have to beg, I will…” I knelt down in front of him. “Try your hardest with the therapy. Don’t give up on living, please.”
“Get up! I don’t want you on your knees in front of me. I don’t deserve that.”
“If that’s what it takes, I’ll stay right here. You’ve done more for me and Hanna than anyone else ever has. Encouragingyou is the least I can do to show that we’re here for you.Just… help yourself too. Please, Colin. If you love us, do it for us.”
Colin looked straight ahead, clearly torn about something.
