Page 15 of Don't Go Bakin' My Heart
“Yeah,” he blushed, and I had to stop myself from telling him to leave Percy alone. It was stupid—the thoughts running through my head. I had no right to ever think about him, much less still have feelings for him. All those years of being mean to him because I liked him, sneaking glances in the hallway when I thought no one was looking, touching myself in my bed at night, and thinking about his face and the way his hands had felt on my body.
“Percy deserves to be happy.” It was all I could say, and I meant it.
“Well, I am a definite catch these days,” he huffed and shook his head. “It’s fun, and I like him – I do – but even if I were unknowingly bi after all these years, I’m in no position to be anything to anyone right now. Shit. I don’t have time to have a gay crisis, dude. I can barely keep my head above water right now.”
“So, you’re not going to pursue it?” I breathed out a sigh of relief.
“No… I like things where they are. At this point, I prefer the unknown to remain just that. My life is too much, and I can’t handle… that. I think I just like the way he talks to me. I guess I’m pretty sure I’m not bi, but… I mean, things change, right?”
“I saw Percy this afternoon. He was not very happy to see me.” I took a very large sip of my beer.
“What did you expect?”
“That was what I…. I was hoping that after ten years, it wouldn’t be quite as volatile. I thought Tammy Sue was going to try to knock me out.” I huffed and tried to shake off the feeling that this was how it would always be with him. Why would he ever forgive me after everything I had done?
“They’ve always been close, dude.”
“He looked great, though.” I smiled. “Happy. I mean, damn, he is like French trained and worked for a Michelin Star restaurant. That’s pretty damn impressive.”
Tim’s eyes widened. “Do you maybe have a little crush, too? Sounds like it.”
“I’ve always had a… Isn’t it weird how you can see someone after so long, and your emotions just bubble right back to where they were years ago?”
“Percy? He was your first kiss?” He nodded, knowing he was right. “Makes sense.”
I shrugged. “And then I made him pay when all I really wanted to do was to kiss him again.”
“That’s… shit, man.”
“Yep. I don’t think that he would ever… I mean, I wouldn’t if I were him, I guess. But I’ve thought about him. I thought about him all through college and really wanted to call him when I came out, but I was too much a coward.”
Tim reached over and patted my hand that I had sitting on top of the counter. “He would have hung up on you.”
“And I would have deserved that. But I still wanted to. I’ve always wondered about him, and I tried to find him on social media, but he was like a ghost. I just wanted to see if he was… how he was doing, I guess.”
“God, you sound like a love-sick puppy. I’m weirdly jealous. You should talk to him.”
“I’m gonna try, but I don’t think I can lead with I still have a crush on you thing. I have to start with an apology, and he has to accept it. That’s not going to be very easy since I’m… I’m here for work.” I took another long sip of beer.
“Ah… The resort?” He looked at me as if seeing me for the first time. I was the devil coming in and trying to destroy the town. “Shit.”
“Yeah. I didn’t know that he owned the bakery or was even in town. But a lot of the businesses talked about him like he was Norma Rae unionizing all of the stores to fight against the evil oppressor.”
“Which is you?” He said very slowly.
“No, I’m not even Darth Vader in this scenario. I would be the apprentice. But if I can get this deal to go through… Well, I might be a real Sith lord.”
“Still a sci-fi nerd, huh? You hid a lot of secrets back in high school. Is this why you invited me to have dinner tonight?” He spun his mug around slowly on the table.
“Nope. No shop talk. This was just you and me catching up in person.” It felt good to tell him the truth. I had been a truth-sayer all night with my old friend. All of my secrets had tumbled out.
“Good. I’m willing to sell, but I also have to think about all of the people that work for me. I hate owning that damn place, and I never wanted it. But people rely on the jobs I provide.”
“No shop talk.” I tapped my finger on the table hard.
“I’m still glad you're back – whatever the reason. Seeing you face to face is a hell of a lot better than random texts over the last seven years.”
“It’s been too long.”
