Page 17 of Heart Shaped Wreckage
You don’t.
I shot up from my bed on the couch and struggled with the tight covers as I sat up and glanced around. It wasn’t a voice… but it was…
That was not my own thoughts. It couldn’t have been, but I was in here alone. Nothing moved, and the shadows stayed silent. I continued glancing around the room and finally came to the startling realization that I was alone.
Magic?
Not everything real can be seen. Was that… me? The real me that was locked inside, trying to be heard, perhaps? Maybe… But it might have been something else. Someone or something who had done this to me might be here, too.
I slid out from beneath the covers and felt my feet hit the hardwood floor.
I looked around once again and decided that being alone was not going to be the right decision for me.
I stood up, padded carefully and quietly against the floor, and slowly opened the door to Heath’s room.
“Are you awake?” I whispered as I walked into his room. The moment I crossed his threshold, I felt instantly safer.
He didn’t answer, but I could hear his soft breathing slow and strong in the darkness.
I felt around on the floor with my feet so I didn’t trip on anything, and reached out with my hands as I found the base ofhis bed. The moonlight shone through his window, and I could see him sleeping under his covers. I made my way to the other side of the bed and tried not to wake him as I pulled the covers back and slid in.
He was so warm.
I cuddled against his back and heard him sigh heavily as he turned around before taking me into his arms and holding me tightly. His arm around me made me feel safe and happy. I snuggled closer, and before I could even know it, I was asleep.
8
HEATH
Iawoke with a giant erection.
He was so deep in sleep that he didn’t even notice when I removed my arm from around him and gingerly crawled from the bed.
He looked so peaceful and content. I liked that more than I should.
What the fuck was happening to me? Sure, he was fucking hot as hell. That red hair and pasty skin called to me in a very visceral way. I would make him scream my name as I fucked him. I wanted that. It was pure lust, and… it could not happen. Not the way he was, anyway.
He was a person in need, and even though I was a fallen, I was not without mercy and compassion. I would help him because he needed someone to, not because I wanted him to feel any sort of way towards me.
I mean, I could lie to myself, couldn’t I? I’ve been doing it ever since my wings burned.
He would be hungry. I rarely ate, but he was more human than not. I growled as I realized I should have fed him dinnerlast night. He had to be starving. Who knew the last time he had eaten something?
I opened my fridge and found it almost empty. I had eggs. Well… it would have to do until I could go to the store in the village and get something.
I pulled them out and put a pan on the stove that I almost never used. I added a little oil and let it get hot before I made scrambled eggs and set them aside so they didn’t keep cooking and burn. I was not a very good cook. In all my centuries, I had never needed to cook often. When I decided that human flesh was no longer for me, I ate in the wild. Deer, rabbits, and other game when I shifted. But as a person, I preferred to be mainly vegetarian or pescatarian when I did get hungry. It didn’t happen that often. My essence still burned within me and kept me satiated most of the time. Hunger was not something I experienced often.
Loneliness was my largest feeling until I moved here. I had tried to create a life for myself too many times – but it wasn’t until I found Leath that I ever felt like I belonged. That was a feeling I only ever felt before the fall from grace. Since then, I had wandered. Even when I was worshipped as a god, I still felt bereft and lonely. Now, I had friends who filled the need. But I knew that the one who completed me was still something I had never found. I had given up. To live and watch them die would destroy me if I ever let myself fall in love.
Then he came, and I felt… something different. Something that I had never felt before. Hope.
I hated it because it scared me. I desired it because I wanted it too badly. Nothing good ever came from wanting something badly.
“I smelled that.” He stood there in my bedroom doorway all disheveled and adorable. His red hair stuck up all over his head.“I… Thank you for letting me… uh… sleep in there. I got a little… scared, I guess.”
“It’s a new place,” I muttered as I tried to bury any thoughts I had of taking him in my arms and kissing him good morning. God, I wanted it so badly. Nothing good… I tried to remember. “I thought you might be hungry, so I made you some eggs. Sorry, I'm not a very good cook. I eat… out, mostly.”
“Smells great. I can’t remember the last time I… ate… or anything else, I suppose.” He sighed heavily and glanced down at his thin but hard, naked torso. “Maybe I should get dressed.”
