Page 144 of Perfect Storm
Aidan didn’t think so. But then he didn’t really think Mo loved him. Not the way he loved Levi anyway. Maybe not even the way Aidan had loved Mo.
“It’s gonna be awkward, maybe,” Aidan had admitted. “But Mo’s a pro, and we were friends before any of this. I think we can find our way back to that again.”
He was still hoping that this morning, and he had a feeling he’d be thinking about it all day, in the back of his mind.
“Not reallystressing,” Aidan said, because he wasn’t. Not like Levi meant.
“Good.”
Aidan turned over, tipping his forehead against Levi’s. How had he not realized how deeply in love with him he was? Even weeks ago, seeing the pillow creases on his cheeks had filled him with a buoyant thrill, and now? Aidan thought he might floatright to the ceiling. The only thing keeping him down was Levi’s arm, heavy and warm against his bare side.
“I think you gotta just be honest,” Levi said quietly. “That’s what I would’ve wanted you to be with me, if it hadn’t gone my way.”
“Levi, it was always going to go your way,” Aidan said gently, because it was true.
“But—”
“No,” Aidan interrupted. “It was always going to be you. Maybe Mo helped me see that I liked guys, that what I really wanted was something I wasn’t getting with every other hookup I’d had, but the moment you wanted to know why I was so bummed? The moment you flirted with me? It was inevitable.Youwere inevitable. I slid right into you, no questions, no hesitation, no wondering how it would’ve been if things were different. Because they weren’t ever going to be. Mo’s my friend. But you’re the guy I’m crazy about.”
Levi’s smile was slow and wondrous. “And people say you’re pragmatic.”
“Never when it comes to you,” Aidan admitted.
But Aidan wished, a little bit, that he was more pragmatic when it came to love when he pulled Mo aside in Vault, hours later.
He repeated his own words back to him in his head.Mo’s a pro. We were friends before any of this. I think we can find our way back to that again.
“You look like you’re about to puke,” Mo said frankly as Aidan leaned against the side of the bar. He had deliberatelynotbrought them into the library. It wasn’t going to take a long time to have this conversation, and they weren’t going to need privacy for it, not the way Mo had hoped they’d need it the first time.
That was not a lie. Aidan felt a little nauseous. He took a big swallow of the whiskey the bartender had poured him a few minutes ago.
“You didn’t ask if there was someone else, before,” Aidan said, because that was easier than admitting how much he didn’t like this. Not being honest. Not being in love with Levi. But letting Mo down, the way he’d been let down.
It wouldn’t ever feelgood. Even if Aidan was semi-convinced Mo wasn’t in love with him. Not really the way he wanted to be in love.
“No,” Mo admitted. “Is there?”
“Yes,” Aidan said.
Mo looked surprised but also resigned. “I guess I knew you weren’t going to be into it, when you looked so shocked, but not happy about it.”
“You shocked me, for sure,” Aidan said.
Mo’s dark eyes slid away from his. “I wouldn’t even hate you, if you were doing this because I did it to you.”
“Morris,” Aidan chided. “Come on. You know me. I don’t do that shit.”
“I didn’t know you were into guys, either,” Mo argued, but his voice was still flat, matter-of-fact. “I didn’t know until you told me you loved me. And now I find out it’s not just me, but there’s someone else, even. You gonna tell me who it is? I can tell you want to.”
One of the benefits—and drawbacks—of being friends for so long. Aidan had told himself before this conversation started that would make it easier, but he hadn’t realized it would make it harder, too.
“Yeah, I do, but not if you’re going to be stupid about it,” Aidan said bluntly.
He started a laugh out of Mo. “I guess if I don’t feel like I want to kill him, like I’m actually happy you’re happy, does that mean I didn’t love you after all?”
“I was pretty sure you didn’t.” It didn’t really feel better being proven right.
“But this other guy does?” Mo asked.
