Page 65 of Higher Ground
“Stop.” Emory stood in the middle of the room. Clayton jumped on the bed, shocked by his mother’s harsh tone. Her voice wavered, but Emory crossed her arms and planted her legs. She squeezed her eyes shut, turning to face Byron, then forcing them open. “Stop. Mya’s parents are still up with her aunt. Clayton and I will go stay with her while I figure something out. I can’t be here, okay?”
She pulled Clayton’s suitcase from the wardrobe. A handful of sleep suits and jumpers were still stuffed in the bottom ofit. She’d always been ready to leave, Byron realised. She always knew she was going to go.
He couldn’t try to stop her. It wouldn’t be fair on her. What had she said? All her life, she’d followed people around. This was her chance to lead.
And maybe it was Byron’s time to follow.
“If I go somewhere, will you still be here when I get back?”
Emory looked up at him and shrugged.
“Please, be here when I get back. I promise I won’t try to make you stay.”
Throwing a handful of clothes from a drawer into the suitcase, Emory nodded.
Chapter 33
Emory
“This whole thing feels oddly familiar,” Mya huffed as she dragged the full suitcases up the hallway.
As soon as Byron had left the farmhouse to go … wherever it was he needed to run off to, Emory had called on her best friend to help her pack. Again.
It was crazy to think that it was only a few weeks ago they’d been doing exactly what they were doing now, loading Emory’s car with everything she and Clayton had. So much had changed in those few weeks, and Emory knew she’d hold this month close to her heart for the rest of her life.
Moving in with Byron had been her only choice, and in a way, Emory was glad she’d been forced to play this hand. She didn’t regret the time they shared together; she only wished the circumstances were different. She wished she’d fallen in love with the town and the farm long before she fell in love with Byron. That she wanted to stay instead of feeling this overwhelming need to leave.
She wished she’d done a better job at protecting her heart. Because fuck, it hurt now. The odd thing was that her soul didn’t. Her soul was singing with possibility.
Mya dumped the suitcases by the door and joined Emory on the floor of the living room. Clayton scribbled on the paper-covered coffee table beside them. A small wave of guilt scattered along Emory’s skin. She had to do this for herself. But she’d never stopped to consider if it was fair for Clayton. The poor kid had been moved around more in the past month than he had in his whole life, and when they moved to the city, it would be an even bigger change for him.
No more fun days with his Papa; he’d be off to daycare while Emory worked for the future they both deserved. It was okay, daycare would be good for him, and Emory didn’t feel sad or bad about it in the slightest. But it was going to be a massive change that he wouldn’t fully understand.
It felt like everywhere she looked, Emory was reminded of all the things that were going to make moving to the city hard. That was why she needed to get out of this house. Not just because every moment she spent with Byron was a step further down a cliff that felt too much like a love she couldn’t walk away from. Not just because everything in this house reminded her of him and them and just how perfect the past few weeks had been. But because it was a very blinding reminder of how different life in the city would be for Clayton as well as herself.
It was going to be hard leaving Mya’s, too. There was no doubt in Emory’s mind that no matter where she was, it was never going to be easy. At least at Mya’s house, she wouldn’t feel hopelessly in love as well.
Fuck.
She was, wasn’t she? Hopelessly and endlessly and utterly in love with Byron. And she was about to leave. Maybe Mya hadbeen right all along. Maybe coming here in the first place was not such a good idea.
It was done now, though, and the whole thing had cost Emory her heart. All she could do was hope it would start to heal in the city.
“You okay?” Mya asked. She’d settled on the floor next to Emory and pushed the plastic tub away from their laps. Emory didn’t try to fight her for it. She’d stopped filling it a while ago. The truth was, she had no idea how many of the toys and books came with them from the cottage and how many were here all along.
“No,” she admitted. The truth was always easier with Mya. “I thought I had everything figured out. I was so close to finishing my course, and I had all these grand plans to move to the city and finally do what was right for me. Don’t get me wrong, I still want that. I still need that. But every time I see Byron, I wonder a little more what the cost of my dreams will be.”
“I don’t want to stay,” she continued after swallowing back her sobs. “I hate this town and everyone in it. I hate how everything is a reminder of the life I thought I would have with Jaxon. And that’s okay, really, I’m not sad about him leaving anymore. I don’t miss him, but it really sucks seeing that reminder all the time. I hate the way everyone in town still somehow blames me for his leaving, as though he’s not the one who showered me with promises then skipped town on his kid and never looked back. I hate that being here isn’tme. I don’t belong here, and I never will. Byron can’t change that, no matter how much I love him. I’ll always hate it here.”
She sank to the floor, lying back until she was staring up at the ceiling. Clayton, seeing his mother flat on the ground, toddled over to climb on top of her. He nestled his head into her neck and settled his weight on her front. His tiny body pressedagainst her lungs. It forced her to breathe in slower, more focused inhales, sending a tiny sliver of calm through her.
Mya remained silent, as though she knew her best friend had a lot to get out. Wrapping her arms around Clayton, Emory continued.
“I hate it here, but I love Byron. And every time he is close, I forget a little how far fromhomethis town is for me. I can’t get swept up in that. I need to not be around him, even if it’s only for a little while. So that I can think straight. So that I can remembermeand my dreams and my future.”
Lying beside Emory, Mya twisted to her side. She propped an arm under her head and placed her free hand over Emory’s on Clayton’s back. “Can I tell you something?”
Emory hummed. Her eyes were filled with tears that threatened to spill over her cheeks if she turned her head.
