Page 28 of Dr. Lillian Harrington
This was getting out of control. She was losing herself in this, in Lillian, and she didn’t know how to stop it.
But deep down, she wasn’t sure she even wanted to.
The next few days passed in a blur of surgeries and consultations, but no matter how busy she kept herself, Lillian was always there, in the back of Rebecca’s mind. Every time she passed her in the hallway, every time their eyes met across a room, that same tension flared up, hot and undeniable.
Rebecca knew she couldn’t keep avoiding it forever. Something had to give.
And when it did, she had no idea how she would handle it.
Rebecca sat back in her chair, the soft light of the evening casting long shadows across her apartment. Her phone lay onthe table in front of her, the screen dimming as she stared at it, debating with herself for the hundredth time. She had deleted the message, rewritten it, and then deleted it again. Over and over.
I can’t stop thinking about you.
The words played on a loop in her mind, mocking her attempts at control. She had tried to push Lillian out of her thoughts, tried to focus on her work, tried to keep the boundaries she had set in place. But every time she thought of Lillian, of the way her body had felt under her hands, of the heat in her eyes when they were alone, the walls she had so carefully constructed started to crack.
Rebecca exhaled slowly, her fingers hovering over the keyboard again. She couldn’t do this. She wasn’t supposed to feel this way. But the truth gnawed at her, relentless and insistent.
Lillian was more than just a fleeting desire. She had gotten under Rebecca’s skin in a way that no one else ever had. And no matter how much she tried to fight it, Rebecca couldn’t ignore the pull any longer.
She opened the text again, her fingers shaking slightly as she typed out the words:I can’t stop thinking about you either.
Rebecca stared at the message, her heart pounding in her chest. It was dangerous. Reckless. But it was the truth. And for the first time in a long time, she wasn’t going to run from it.
With one last steadying breath, Rebecca hit send.
As the message disappeared into the ether, Rebecca felt a rush of something that was both terrifying and exhilarating. She had crossed a line, one she wasn’t sure she could ever go back from.
But in that moment, she didn’t care.
Because all she could think about was Lillian.
And what came next.
11
LILLIAN
Lillian lay sprawled on her couch, her apartment dimly lit by the soft glow of the city lights outside her window. She had kicked off her shoes, her feet dangling over the edge of the couch as she absentmindedly scrolled through her phone, trying to relax after another long day at the hospital. But her mind was far from relaxed.
It had been a few days since the gala, and she hadn’t heard a word from Rebecca since. Lillian had spent those days going over their brief, charged encounter in the bathroom, replaying the way Rebecca had teased her, how her lips had felt against her skin. The heat of Rebecca’s touch still lingered in her mind, but so did the coldness. The way she had walked away, leaving Lillian flustered and aching.
Lillian had promised herself that she wouldn’t let Rebecca get too deep under her skin. She had sworn not to let herself be hurt by someone so emotionally unavailable, someone who pushed her away just as much as she pulled her in. But that was easier said than done.
The pull Rebecca had on her was too strong, too undeniable.
Just as she was beginning to sink deeper into her thoughts, her phone buzzed against her palm. Lillian’s heart skipped a beat when she saw the message pop up on her screen:
I can’t stop thinking about you either.
Lillian sat up, staring at the text, her heart racing. She wasn’t sure what she had been expecting from Rebecca, but this—this simple admission—made something twist in her chest. She read the message over and over, trying to decipher the layers of meaning behind it. Was this Rebecca finally opening up and letting her guard down? Or was it just another fleeting moment of vulnerability before she pulled away again?
Lillian’s mind raced with possibilities. She wanted to believe that Rebecca was ready for more, that maybe this time things would be different. But there was still a nagging doubt in the back of her mind, a fear that Rebecca’s coldness would return as soon as they were back at the hospital, where the professional lines were drawn so clearly between them.
Her thumb hovered over the screen, unsure of how to respond. She could play it cool, keep things casual, but part of her was tired of playing games. Part of her wanted more—needed more—from Rebecca. If this relationship was going to go anywhere, she needed to know if Rebecca was willing to step out of the shadows with her.
Finally, she typed out a message, her fingers trembling slightly as she hit send:
"What now?"
