Page 59 of Dr. Lillian Harrington
Lillian’s breath caught, and Rebecca could see the flicker of emotion in her eyes, the cracks in the walls she had put up. There was a long pause, the tension between them thick as they both waited to see what the other would say.
Finally, Lillian looked down, her fingers tracing the rim of her cup. "I needed to hear that," she admitted softly. "But I don’t know if it’s enough, Rebecca."
Rebecca’s heart sank, but she nodded, understanding the weight of what Lillian was saying. "I know. And I don’t expectyou to forgive me right away. But I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make things right. I’ll fight for you this time, if you’ll let me."
Lillian looked up, her blue eyes locking with Rebecca’s. There was a moment of hesitation, but then she nodded, her lips curving into the faintest of smiles. "Okay," she said softly. "Let’s try."
21
LILLIAN
Lillian sat in silence, her gaze drifting from Rebecca’s hand resting on hers to the way Rebecca’s eyes, for the first time, seemed raw and open. The vulnerability in Rebecca’s voice, the words she had just spoken—"I love you, Lillian"—echoed in her mind, filling the quiet between them. Lillian’s heart ached. She had missed this woman, missed the comfort and closeness they had shared, but the pain of their breakup, the walls Rebecca had built around herself, still lingered in the back of her mind.
Can I trust her?
That was the question swirling in her head, pulling her in two directions. She had fought so hard to be with Rebecca before, to pull her out of that cold shell, but no matter how much she tried, Rebecca had always kept her at arm’s length. And that had been the most painful part—knowing how deeply she loved someone who wouldn’t let her in. Could she go through that again?
But as she sat there, watching Rebecca—vulnerable, open, and maybe even afraid—Lillian felt something stir inside her. This was a different side of Rebecca, one she had never seen before. The way Rebecca had admitted her fear of losing control, the way she had apologized without hesitation, without herusual guardedness, made Lillian wonder if maybe, just maybe, things could be different this time.
She’s trying.
Lillian took a slow breath, her fingers tracing the rim of her coffee cup as her thoughts raced. She still loved Rebecca; there was no denying that. That love hadn’t faded, even through the hurt. But the question was whether or not that love could survive the distance Rebecca had once put between them. Could she trust that Rebecca would keep her promise to be open and honest, to not push her away when things got difficult?
Her heart wanted to believe that Rebecca could change. That they could grow together, that the relationship they had once struggled with could become something better, somethingreal. But Lillian was scared. She was scared of being hurt again, of putting her heart on the line only to have Rebecca shut her out once more.
But maybe…maybe this was what growth looks like. Maybe they could make this work.
Lillian’s thoughts tangled in a web of hope and fear, but as she sat across from Rebecca, looking at the woman who had finally opened up to her, she felt a glimmer of possibility. Relationships weren’t perfect, she knew that. They took work, patience, and sometimes a willingness to face your worst fears.
Rebecca had faced hers tonight. And that was something.
"I..." Lillian’s voice trembled slightly as she started, unsure of how to say what she was feeling. She looked down at their hands, at the way Rebecca’s thumb lightly brushed her knuckles, before lifting her gaze to meet Rebecca’s eyes.
"I’ve missed you," Lillian admitted softly, her voice steadying as the words found their way out. "But I’m scared, Rebecca. I’m scared that things will go back to how they were before. That I’ll keep trying to meet you halfway and...and you’ll shut me out again."
Rebecca’s grip on her hand tightened just a fraction, and Lillian could see the pain flash in her eyes at the memory of the distance between them. But there was something else there, too: determination, a sincerity Lillian hadn’t seen before.
"You won’t be the only one trying this time," Rebecca said, her voice quiet but firm. "I promise you, Lillian, things will be different. I know I’ve hurt you, and I know I let my fear get in the way. But I don’t want to live like that anymore. I’m ready to be open with you. I’m ready to let you in. I want to make this work—together."
Lillian’s heart thudded in her chest. Could she believe that? Could she really take that leap, knowing how much it had hurt when Rebecca had pulled away the first time? The fear still lingered, gnawing at the edges of her resolve, but the hope was there, too, glowing brighter now as she looked at Rebecca, who was baring her soul in a way Lillian had never expected.
She took a deep breath, her decision solidifying in her chest. The love she had for Rebecca was still there, and she was willing to try. But they both needed to commit to being open and honest with each other. It couldn’t be one-sided. It couldn’t be like before.
Lillian’s hand tightened around Rebecca’s as she looked her straight in the eyes. "If we do this, it has to be different," she said firmly, though her voice was still gentle. "We can’t go back to how it was. I need you to be open with me. I need you to meet me halfway. And I’ll do the same. But it has to be real, Rebecca. I can’t... I can’t go through that again."
Rebecca’s eyes softened, and she nodded, her expression filled with a mix of relief and gratitude. "It will be different, I promise," she said, her voice thick with emotion. "I’m ready, Lillian. I’m ready to be the partner you deserve. I love you, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you know that every day."
The sincerity in Rebecca’s voice warmed Lillian’s heart, and for the first time in weeks, she felt a small weight lift from her shoulders. She wasn’t naïve. She knew that things wouldn’t be perfect overnight and that they both had work to do. But as she sat there, holding Rebecca’s hand, she realized that this was the first step toward something new.
Something better.
Lillian nodded, a soft smile tugging at her lips as she squeezed Rebecca’s hand. "Okay," she whispered. "Let’s try."
Rebecca’s face lit up with a mixture of relief and happiness, and Lillian couldn’t help but smile back. It wasn’t going to be easy, but for the first time, they were both ready to face it together.
And that was all Lillian needed to know.
Lillian sat there, still holding Rebecca’s hand, feeling the weight of the past slowly lifting away. The tension that had clouded their relationship, the unspoken words, the distance—they had all led to this moment. And now, sitting across from Rebecca, Lillian could feel a new chapter beginning. It wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t a fairy tale, but it was real. And it was theirs.
