Page 25 of Worth the Ruin
“He found me two years ago not too far north of here. I’d been with a small group, but we ran into a herd and I was the only one to make it out alive. I was on my own for a week or so, barely surviving—I wasn’t built for this world, not to be out there alone, at least,” she says with a small self-deprecating smile, but it fades quickly. “I ran into two men and they…they…” She swallows hard and I lay a hand on her shoulder, offeringsupport. I already know that this story is the dark and painful kind. Renee gives me a grateful look and reaches up to put her hand over mine, squeezing gently.
“They attacked me. Tied me up and kept me in an old storage shed in the woods for days while they...” She squeezes her eyes shut and fury tears through me. Renee doesn’t have to say the words. I know exactly what those men did to her. There are a few surefire ways to make my cold, unforgiving dark side come out in full force. One is hurting—eventhreateningto hurt—the people I love. The other is forcing anything on anyone who isn’t willing.Tell me Traeger punished them. Tell me he made it slow.
“I tried to fight back and one of them did this.” She points to the long scar on her face. “I stopped fighting after that,” she adds quietly. She turns to face me again. “Then Traeger came. He heard them talking about me,jokingabout what they were doing, when they were in the nearby town getting supplies. He followed them back to the shed and subdued them both. When he opened the door and found me, the rage I felt radiating from him terrified me. At first I thought he was just like them, that he was going to pick up where they left off or just kill me. I struggled, screaming against the gag they’d shoved in my mouth. He held his hands up and told me it was alright, that he wasn’t going to hurt me. Something in his eyes made me believe him. He was so gentle as he took off the gag and cut the rope from my wrists. He looked at the crusted blood and the burns the rope had left on my skin, and that quiet rage poured out of him again. He helped me stand and eased me out of the shed. He asked if I wanted to kill them, or watch him do it, or turn away, but no matter what I picked, they were going to die. There was no other option in his mind. I couldn’t do it myself, even after everything…but I watched.” She swallows hard but lifts her chin. “And I didn’t feel bad at all as he executed them both.”
“Good,” I say, my body practically vibrating with rage and wanting to take matters into my own hands, even knowing that justice has already been served. For a moment, I have nothing but respect and appreciation for Traeger. If he responded like that to Renee’s situation, I can’t imagine that he would ever force anyone himself.So, yet another thing we had so fucking wrong.
Renee laughs lightly and sniffles, wiping tears from her eyes.
“I know his hands aren’t clean, but I also know that the things he’s done are always for the right reasons and that most people only see what hewantsthem to see. He’s no angel, but he does what has to be done to keep everyone safe. Not just here, but in all the settlements. The world isn’t black and white anymore. It is all gray.”
“Fifty shades of it by what I hear each night from my room,” I say with a small smile.
Renee laughs out loud, throwing her head back. “Oh my God. Ok, that was a good one.” She scrunches her nose. “Can you really hear him?”
“Ohhh yes. More so the girls than him, but yeah. Natasha is the worst. She literally sounds like a cat in heat.” I shudder and Renee snorts, slapping a hand over her mouth.
“You are terrible,” she hisses.
“I never claimed to be otherwise.” I shrug. I bump her leg with mine. “Hey, thank you for sharing your story with me. It…helps me understand things a bit better.”
Renee smiles. “You’re welcome. Maybe now you’ll share some of your story with me. Not right this second,” she adds quickly, “but…some day.”
“I will, I promise.” I glance at the setting sun and sigh. “I guess we should get back so I can get ready for dinner.”
“I wantyou as part of the security team,” Traeger says when I sit down for dinner in his room. His green eyes had flared with heat for a moment when I’d first walked in. I’d gone with cut-off shorts and a tank top, deciding that being as casual as possible made it feel less like a weird date. But he’d raked his gaze up my bare legs and over my chest, lingering for a long moment on my hair, which I’d let dry in loose waves, and with the way he looked at me, I didn’t feel casual at all. My stomach clenched at that look, heat spreading through my chest.
It's obvious that he’s attracted to me, so why had he turned me down that first night? Was it truly because he’s a…decent human being after all? More and more evidence is pointing me in that direction, it’s true, but I still can’t quite make myself just accept it.
I quirk a brow. “Seriously?”
“You’re obviously extremely skilled in that department, and I like to surround myself with the best of the best.”
“You’re going to let me just waltz around with a loaded gun?”
“Eventually, yes. You mentioned previously that you were smart enough not to do anything stupid. I’m assuming you still stand by that statement?” I roll my eyes and his lips quirk up on one side. “So, yes. Eventually, you’ll get to just waltz around with a loaded gun. For now, you’ll just…observe. That’s across the board, mind you. No one gets a weapon at first. There’s a probationary period for all new members on security detail.”
I eye him critically as I sip my water, keeping my expression passive. I’m excited to be back in some type of guard or security role, dying to do more and use my skills, but I don’t want to let him know just how eager I am for this.
“I guess that makes sense,” I finally allow. “I’ll observe for now.” He nods and takes a drink, watching me over the rim of his glass. I pick up my knife and spin it slowly in my right hand. “You know, rumor has it I tried to stab you and that’s why I’m here.”
He watches the knife with amused interest.
“Is that what they’re saying?”
I nod. I could throw the knife now and end him in seconds if I wanted, and he has no idea…but as if reading my thoughts, he leans back in his chair and throws his arms out wide.
“If you want to try, be my guest.” His green eyes darken as they meet mine, that subtle challenge in his voice again. I arch a brow, as if considering it, but then hike a shoulder.
“Nah, this is too easy. When I kill you, it’ll be more…sporting.” He snorts and my lips curl at the corners. “When do I start?”
“Tomorrow.”
We eat in silence for a few minutes and it’s surprisingly comfortable. The food is again delicious. Roasted vegetables, a small salad, and meat of some kind—deer, I think. One upside to the end of the world is that wildlife has absolutely exploded. Animals are immune to the disease, both the initial sickness and whatever the hell spread from the Bloodies to turn you if you got bit. They can still be torn apart by the damn things, of course, but overall, they’re thriving. Which means, if you’re a halfway decent shot, you’ll never starve in this world.
“So, have you figured it out yet?” he asks, popping a tomato into his mouth.
I know what he’s asking. If I’ve figured out the truth about FOS, abouthim.
