Page 63 of Worth the Ruin
Hey, at least I’m honest with myself.
I gather up my hair and wrap the long strands into a knot at the top of my head, sliding a pen through it to hold it in place. I tug on the tank top, foregoing a bra underneath, and slip into the lacy boyshorts. I leave the sweatpants sitting on the dresser, take a deep breath, and quietly open the door. Traeger is standing by the fireplace, one arm resting on the stone mantle, staring into the flames and looking lost in thought. He didn’t even seem to hear the door open, so I pad across the kitchen, silent as a cat, and pause just behind the couch to study him. He’d trimmed his beard and mustache, back to that sexy manicured stubble stage that looks far too good on him. His hair is almost dry, the strands curling up against the back of his neck.He needs a trim, I think with a smile.
The lights are low, only the fire and a lantern on in the corner illuminating the space. We figured we’d used enough electricity binging movies all day and should conserve for the evening. He looks so handsome in the firelight that it makes my breath hitchand my stomach dip, heat scorching through my veins. I want him and nothing is standing in my way now…namely myself. The steel wall I’d put around my heart that night after Jonah’s accident, the one forged of hate and anger and fear, had fallen away. Little by little over the past few weeks, sure, but it had all but collapsed in a shower of rubble during these days in the apartment with him. I’m still afraid, but I’m not going to let the fear stop me anymore.
I make my way towards him and he finally realizes I’m there, turning towards me with a smile. A smile that fades into a look that’s half confusion, half hope, and one hundred percent desire as his eyes skate over my thin tank top and bare legs. His throat bobs as I stalk closer.
“Melody…?”
“Don’t read anything into it,” I say with a sultry smile as I step into his open arms and wrap my own around his neck. I’m not even sure he realized that he’d opened them, beckoning and begging me to move within them. I turn my face up and see his lips curl at the corners before I go up on my toes and press my lips to his. He inhales sharply, but doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around my waist and pull me tight against his body. The second our lips touch, my entire body is on fire, every nerve ending sparking to life and begging for more. His lips are as soft and warm as I remember, moving gently, but urgently against my own. I moan quietly when he thrusts his tongue against mine, his fingers clenching on my hips before moving beneath my tank, up my back, tracing the line of my spine and making me shudder and arch into his touch like a cat.
I toy with the edges of his hair with one hand and slide my other down his chest and stomach until I can tunnel my fingers beneath the hem of his shirt. I glide my palm over his stomach and he gasps quietly against my lips. His skin is hot from the fire and his muscles jump beneath my touch. He tilts his head anddeepens the kiss as my fingers move along his abs, up his chest. His heart thunders against my palm and I know mine’s beating just as hard.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he murmurs against my lips, making me huff out a laugh—before he nips at my bottom lip and the laugh becomes a semi-embarrassing moan. He kisses along my jaw and I move my hand to his hip, holding tight to steady myself before my legs give out. He’s driving me absolutelycrazy. Every lap of his tongue, every graze of his teeth, every whisper of his fingers along my back, is like some new delicious torture that I never want to end.
I want more. Ineedmore. I need it in a way I haven’t in so damn long. It’s an all-consuming need, erasing everything else. My entire world shifts so that this moment, this touch, this kiss, this man—they’re the only things that exist, the only things that matter.
He pulls back and cups my face, holding my gaze for an endless moment. Searching. Finding. Connecting on some level I can’t even understand. Eventually, he smiles, a heartbreaking, breath-stealing smile, and then reaches behind me, snagging the pen and tossing it aside. My hair tumbles down my back and he tunnels his fingers through it like he’s been dying to do it for months.
“I love your hair,” he mutters, leaning in to kiss me again.
I smile against his lips and tug at the bottom of his shirt, pushing it up over his chest. He reluctantly pulls his hands free from my hair and reaches behind him, tugging the shirt up and over before tossing it away. Why the hell is that so sexy?
And why the hell had I stayed mad at him for so long and missed out on seeingthisevery fucking day?
Austin Traeger shirtless, his tattoos standing out darkly in the firelight and his sweats hanging low on his hips, is fucking criminal. His skin is far from flawless, but every line of ink, everysingle scar, tells the story of who he is and where he’s been. They tell me that he’s strong, and kind, and selfless. They tell me that he’s brave and vulnerable and human. They tell me that I’m a fucking goner.
I slam my lips back to his again, a new urgency burning through me. I throw my arms around his neck and jump. He doesn’t miss a beat, grabbing my ass as I wrap my legs around his waist. Our bodies are completely in synch, as if we’ve done this a thousand times. I dig one hand into his hair, tugging hard on the strands as everything burns out of control, a spark to kindling.
He seems to sense my rising desperation, groaning into my mouth as he turns, slamming me against the wall beside the fireplace and pinning me there with his body, hard against mine. I gasp and dig my fingers into his shoulder, into his scalp, needing him closer, needing him to kiss me harder, needing everything.
“God, Melody,” he groans, grinding his hips against me. He’s hard, so fucking hard, and I whimper at the thought of him slamming deep, driving me to the brink over and over.
“Please, Traeger.Please,” I beg. As so often happens between us, he seems to know exactly what I’m thinking, exactly what I need without saying the words. He presses his hips harder against me, holding me to the wall as he tears my cami off.
“Fuck,” he whispers as he glances down. I pant as he stares, licking his bottom lip before biting down.Dear Godthat’s fucking sexy. I want his lips on me. His tongue, his teeth, his hands—fucking everything. I can’t even think, can barely breathe. I’m practically quivering by the time he grips my wrists, moving my hands from his shoulders to the wall on either side of my head, and pinning them there. I gasp quietly, that simple act turning me on far more than it should. He holds mygaze, his green eyes burning as he says the next words slowly. Deliberately.
“Melody, you are fucking gorgeous,” he rasps. “I’ve dreamed about you, just like this…” His gaze shifts, eyes slowly traveling from my eyes, to my lips, down my throat, to my breasts. God, how can a lookfeelso good? He pulls his gaze back up again until our eyes meet. “But my dreams could never do you justice.” I swallow hard, panting quietly. I can’t stop myself from arching my hips against him where he still has me pinned. He clenches his jaw when I grind over his cock, the feel of him hard and ready against me so intense that I swear to God I could come just from this. I try to move my hands, desperate to touch him, but he holds fast, his fingers like shackles on my wrists.
And fuck is it hot.
“Traeger,” I say, half plea, half command.
His green eyes blaze. “Austin,” he says gruffly. “Call me Austin.Please.”
I understand his plea and my heart twists. With me, he doesn’t want to be Traeger, the leader of Haven that does whatever has to be done to keep people safe, the man who’s despised by many for who he has to pretend to be, the man who I know without a doubt is tired of carrying the weight of it all on his shoulders. With me, he only wants to be Austin, the man he probably thought he’d lost for good all those years ago. I know it now, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Despite all of my fighting and all of my fear, I’ve fallen completely in love with him.
“Austin,” I whisper, putting everything I have into the word, and his eyes slide closed, as if hearing his name on my lips is the answer to a prayer. His hands tighten my wrists and when he opens his eyes again, they’re blazing with a desire so deep and primal that it turns my blood to pure fire in my veins. I can’t wait anymore. I need him so badly that the force of it startles me.
I give him a sultry look as I learn forward and bite his lip, pulling it gently with my teeth before letting it go. He groans.
“I believe once upon a time, you promised to earn my screamsall—night—long…” I whisper. He smiles the sexiest crooked grin I’ve ever seen and my stomach clenches, my core throbbing with anticipation.
“Well, in that case, I guess I better get started then…”
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
AUSTIN
