Page 13 of Worth the Ruin
“They’re going to bomb the most populated areas. That’s where the most cases are being seen, of course, in the big cities. They think if they do that, it’ll be enough. It won’t be,” he added quietly, “but they have to try.”
“Jesus,” I breathed, my heart thundering in my ears, but entire body feeling numb and cold.
“I don’t know exact dates, but it’ll be soon. A week, maybe two. Mel, this is…it’s bad,” he said again. “It’s scary. I’m telling you that I’m fucking scared.” I met his eyes and saw it there again. Fear. Fear like I’d never seen in Whitt’s eyes before. Even when we’d been locked in that cell together, tortured, thinking we were going to die, there hadn’t been fear like this…
That forced all doubt away, silencing that part of my mind that refused to accept that something like this could be real. It was real. It was happening. I needed to accept it and move on to the next phase: preparation. That’s why Whitt was there, I knew. To give us time to prepare, to give ourselves the best chance at survival.
“You need to leave. Pack up as many supplies as you can, get Jonah, take that little girl—” he pointed towards the living room and his voice broke, my chest cracking at the sound. I knew how much he loved Gabby too, like she was his own flesh and blood. “—and get as far away from the city as possible. Goto the lake house, and take as many backroads to get there as you can. Once it starts, it’s going to go fast. Too fast.”
I forced breaths in and out of my lungs. I glanced to a picture on the fridge of our last trip to the lake house, taken just as Gabby’s fish made its break for freedom and Jonah was falling off of the dock. It was mostly in middle-of-nowhere territory, deep in the woods on a large lake with the closest neighbor at least a few miles away. Even the nearest real town was an hour, anything closer than that were just mom-and-pop convenience and bait shops. If we needed to avoid people—and fucking bombs apparently—it was a solid choice. But…
“Whitt, I can’t. You know I can’t.”
“I know, Mel.” His voice was tight with understanding and pain and misery. “But youhaveto. You have to take her and just…do the best you can for as long as you can.” Now the breaths wouldn’t come no matter how hard I tried. The aching in my chest was nearly unbearable. I tried to lock my mind down and compartmentalize everything. I couldn’t lose it now. I had to be strong, for Gabby and for Jonah. I had to get them through this, no matter what.
“Look, I know your instincts are going to tell you to warn others, but you can’t, Mel. If people knew what was coming…” He let out a shuddering breath. “You have to play this one close to the vest. It’s a shit call, but it’s the right one, trust me in this. Jonah and no one else, got it?”
“I understand,” I said, already making a plan and several back-up plans, a running list of supplies, and mapping out different possible routes out of town in my head.
“What about you? Tell me you’re leaving.”
“I’m heading to meet my brother and his family down at granddad’s old farm as soon as I leave here. Car is already packed.” Good. The farm was in Podunk, North Carolina, so they should be safe. From the bombs at least. Fuck, I stillcouldn’t really make myself think about what else was coming. I knew it without Whitt having to spell it out: widespread panic and desperation and violence.
“Ok, good. Give Lila a hug for me.”
He pulled me into a bear hug then, squeezing me so tightly, like it was the last time he would ever do it. I realized with a cold, sinking feeling that it probably was.
“Stay safe, Mel.” He pulled away and held me at arm’s length. In a gruff voice, he added, “You know I love you, asshole.”
My eyes watered. This was goodbye, though neither of us would dare say it. We shared a look, one that said so fucking much with no words needing to be spoken.
“I love you too, jackass.”
I hugged him one more time because I couldn’t not hug him one more fucking time, and when I pulled away, he gave me a warm smile, wiping a tear from my cheek.
“Survive, Mel. Do whatever it takes. I mean it—whatever it fucking takes. Things are going to get really bad before they get even a little bit better, but I know you can make it through this, Mel. I fuckingknowthat you can.”
With that, he turned away and walked through the living room. He leaned down to kiss Gabby on the forehead, careful not to wake her. His shoulders shook as a silent sob racked through his body. My heart splintered but I knew already that this was far from the hardest goodbye to come. He gave me one last look, a half-hearted smile, and a nod, and then walked away from me for the last time.
After he was gone, I went back into the kitchen. I leaned over, gripping the edge of the countertop so hard my fingers throbbed, and took a few gasping breaths, careful to still be quiet. My heart was racing and I felt like I couldn’t breathe as I really let myself think about what was happening, what wasgoingto happen. A lot of people were going to die. And some of them weren’t going to stay that way. Our entire existence was going to change in ways I couldn’t even fully imagine. We were going to be fighting for our lives in a world that wasn’t going to make it easy. I had to slide to the floor and put my head between my knees then before I passed out completely.
I forced myself to focus and get myself under control. I’d had years of training to be able to keep my shit together in any situation, and this was no different. Sure, a zombie fucking apocalypse hadn’t exactly been on the curriculum in any of the classes after the Academy, but still, all the same logic and techniques applied. So, I slowed my breathing, inhaling for four seconds, holding for another four, and slowly exhaling for the final four. Over and over until my rhythms all settled back into a normal range. I took all the panic and fear and put it in a nice little box that I compartmentalized neatly in the back of my mind. Now wasn’t the time to deal with those. Now was the time to start planning.
I pulled myself up and texted Jonah to get back home as soon as possible. He’d just run out to grab take-out from our favorite Thai joint down the road, but I needed him here. Jonah and his husband, Sean, had lived just a few houses down from us originally. Sean and Mitch had been best friends since bootcamp, had gone into Special Forces together, had been stationed together—and because sometimes the universe is awesome, they had found spouses who were plutonic soulmates too. After Sean and Mitch had been killed in action on the same mission, it had just made sense for Jonah to move in with me and Gabby, and we’d been together ever since.
Not a minute later, Jonah came in the front door. I waited for him in the kitchen, trying to figure out how the hell to break this news to him.
“Hey, I was already turning into the neighborhood when I got your text.” He sat the bag of food on the counter. “Are you starving or what?” he added with a laugh. It smelled delicious but I had zero appetite now. He was smiling widely but it faded as he met my eyes. “What’s going on?” he asked, voice tense, knowing something was wrong. He immediately shifted his eyes to Gabby, still sleeping soundly on the couch.
“She’s fine,” I assured him and he relaxed a fraction. I pulled out two beers and popped them open. “You’re going to need this,” I said, handing him a bottle and taking a deep swig of mine before filling him in on everything Whitt had told me and everything I thought it might mean.
“Jesus,” he said, running a hand through his dark curls. But, God bless him, he didn’t question it, didn’t think I was crazy or had gone down some conspiracy theory rabbit hole on social media. He glanced down at his watch.
“The lake house is solid, but I’ll take the trailer and go to Bulk-N-Go now, they’re open for another few hours. You start packing up what you can here.” Jonah wasn’t a Prepper exactly, but the lake house was always well-stocked in the event we got snowed in or the road washed out during bad storms, or anyone ever needed a place to disappear for a while. With my jobs—past and present—there was always plenty of danger and we had friends in the same position. We both just liked to be prepared.
“Sounds good. Grab as much as you can, I’m talking load that thing down, J. If anyone asks, tell them it’s for the Cobra’s training camp.” Jonah snorted. He hated the Cobras with a passion, but their training camp was happening right down the road, so it was a legitimate excuse. “Bottled water, protein bars, all the non-perishable stuff you can find: canned veggies and fruit, peanut butter. Oh and honey! Get lots of honey.” Memories of my mamaw telling me the hundred different waysshe could use honey sprang to my mind. “And toilet paper. Fuck what else…medicine and first aid supplies. And those fruit snacks she likes,” I added, shaking my head, eyes watering. “I know it’s dumb but?—”
Jonah cradled my face and made me meet hie eyes.
