Page 156 of Caged Between the Beta & Alpha
“I know, I don’t want her to feel emotionally guilty. I think she seems to know what she wants now and is stepping up to that. As much as I’m worried for her, I’m worried about you, too. Talk to me, Liam. You’re going through so much; this curse, the entire mate situation…”
“It is what it is,” Liam said, drinking some of the milk before picking up a square of brownie.
“It is, but there’s always a reason for everything the Moon Goddess does. Grandma Amy knew that Mom, Indy, and I were going to come to this pack. She had a dream but knew it was more. The fact that she left that note… maybe she foresaw that there is hope. Kiara told me that Alejandro was also given a choice when he was in a coma, that he met the Moon Goddess. The Moon Goddess loves us all, Liam. I believe, deep down, she isn’t treating you as any less or that you are not enough. This curse… I believe she chose you to end this curse becauseshe knew you were worth it, because you were the one most capable of doing so. This loophole or something that she put against Helios’ curse, I truly believe that she has faith in you because you are one of the kindest souls I know. You always put others before yourself,” I said quietly.
I believed that. I’d been thinking long and hard. There had to be a reason for the curse to choose Liam. There had to be a reason the Moon Goddess made him share a mate… I mean, why would she do that knowing it would cause him more conflict? There was more to it.
“I don’t think I’m as kind as you think, Mom… I don’t want to share her, I can’t… I want her for myself. She’s not just an object for us to ‘share’ for fuck’s sake. I don’t get why this happened. Sure, people in polyamorous relationships exist, but it’s not for me. I can’t share her, and this is me saying this calmly, but I’m leaving it to her… I’m the selfish one here. If she wants us both… and I’m the one who can’t accept it, then…” He shrugged, and my stomach twisted.
“Liam, what are you-”
“Nothing,” he said, smiling as he turned to me. “I’m sorry, Mom. I know I brought back those painful memories. What I did… it’s not something I can forgive myself for. I hurt you and Raven… and I’m fucking sorry for that.” He took my hands, my heart squeezing at the sadness in his eyes. “I don’t deserve the love you give me, the love she gives me. Even if I got lashed daily for the rest of my life… it wouldn’t be enough. Marking someone is… sick, but I promise you, I won’t become him. I won’t hurt you anymore… I will try to be the son you can be proud of, not the one who causes you to cry endless tears,” he said, softly cupping my face. “I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused you, for re-opening those old wounds, but I swear on my life itself that I will not become Zidane, because I’m your son and I will never let you down.” Tears stung in my eyes, I nodded.
“We love you, Liam, and we have faith in you.” He wrapped his arms around me, rubbing my back gently as I cried silently. “It did scare me… when I saw you covered in blood…” I whispered, clutching his top. “I saw him… it just brought everything back.”
“I know, but I will not let myself become him. I promise you.”
I nodded as he rested his chin on top of my head. The resolution in his voice was so strong that I truly believed him.
Liam
It was laterin the evening, and I had worked with Damon before returning home to Dad’s place. I still needed to talk to him, and I would do it soon. I mind-linked Raven asking her if she wanted to come over, and she had sounded pretty flustered, although she had replied that she was obviously going to come and to leave the window open for her. Typical Raven.
I was glad she was coming because I needed it. Throughout the day, I felt myself on the brink of losing control, and the amount of wolfsbane I had injected in myself was enough to kill, but I was fine. The moment that darkness grew, it was as if I was suddenly immune to it.
I had just showered and grabbed a towel when I felt the flare of darkness grow inside of me.
Focus…
There was nothing that triggered me, but the urge it had to release itself and wreak havoc made it fuckinghard to control.
Let it all out and this struggle will stop. Don’t fight it…
I pushed the thoughts away, remembering what I had done the last time I had let it out.
Raven. Think of Raven… I almost killed her.
It wasn’t working. I felt my anger flare, my claws coming out, and I plunged it into my chest trying to contain it, digging my hand into my chest, letting the pain override the darkness. I was not going to let it out…Focus… focus…
Destroy it all... Let it go…I groaned, falling to my knees. I needed to shift… I needed-
“Liam!” The door flew open, and Raven’s scent filled my senses as she fell to her knees next to me, her hand going to my shoulder. “Liam, breathe.” I growled lowly. “Baby, move…” Her hand wrapped around my wrist, firmly removing my claws from my chest. “I’m not leaving you, Liam.” Her voice was firm yet soft, and her touch seemed to fight the storm growing inside of me.
“Can I hold you?” I whispered, finally looking up at her as I fought against it.
“Forever,” she replied, wrapping her arms around my neck.
Her lips met my neck, placing soft kisses that sent delicious sparks through me. I pulled her close, sitting back against the counter, and wrapped my arms around her tiny body tightly, feeling the darkness fading away. Her lips never left my neck or shoulder, kissing me sensually until I was finally myself.
She slowly pulled away, staring at my bloody chest. Pain flashed in her eyes as she touched the raven tattoo that was over my heart.
“Don’t hurt yourself, baby,” she whispered, cupping my face as she knelt between my legs.
“I was trying to pull it back, I’m okay,” I said, running my hand through her hair.
“I’m proud of you,” she whispered, cupping my face. Our eyes met, and I saw the concern and pain in her eyes.
“I’m fucking losing it, Raven,” I admitted quietly.
