Page 19 of Caged Between the Beta & Alpha
“Three years,” I said quietly. Her eyes flashed and a frown creased her forehead.
“So then why did you even get involved with me?” she asked, unable to hide the hurt in her voice.
“I fucking don’t know... I just… you fucking made me feel better,” I said, feeling like shit. She nodded, placing her forehead in her hand.
“Fuck... that day she returned, no wonder you pulled away; I thought for a moment it was strange. Then I thought maybe you two had dated, but then I thought no… I thought you had shared stuff with me... but I never thought she was your mate. What must she have fucking been thinking?” she snapped, jumping off the bed. She grabbed a pillow and whacked me across the head. “You are such a fucking dickhead!”
Okay, maybe I deserved that.
“I’m sorry, Robyn,” I said softly.
“You should be apologising to your mate, not me!” She shook her head. “Get the fuck out, Damon, we are fucking done.”
“Yeah, that’s why I came-”
“Out!” she snapped, and I got up. I was literally losing someone else important to me.
I didn’t say anything. Casting one last glance at her, she had her back to me, but her heart was racing erratically. I left, closing the door behind me but I didn’t move, leaning against the wall and closing my eyes.
Silence. For a few minutes, there was nothing until I heard the stifled sobs coming from inside the room. I closed my eyes. She had waited for me to leave…
Dammit… tonight, I had hurt two women I cared for. I really need to talk to Liam, like fucking for real. We needed to sort our shit out, one way or another.
I headed home, unlocking the front door. I stepped inside; the television was on, which meant Mom was still downstairs. I walked through to the living room, sighing inwardly when I saw the empty beer bottles that were strewn across the floor. As for my mom, she was sitting on the couch, her arms wrapped around her legs.Fuck, another bad day. I should have come home sooner.
“Hey, Momma,” I said brightly, picking up a few bottles when I entered the room. She looked up, her heart thundering as she looked around, as if searching for something. A shaky, hopeful smile crossed her face before it vanished.
“Damon, where’s your dad?” she asked. I placed the bottles down and dropped onto the couch next to her. The smell of alcohol was strong in the air and Mom was a mess.
“Momma… Dad ain’t-”
“He must have gone to Elijah. He called him, right? Is he coming home soon? You know, as Beta, he has a lot going on,” she said to me, her voice shaky, her eyes blurring with tears.
It fucking hurt. Nearly three and a half years had passed since Dad was killed, but Mom had never overcome it. She lived in the past, and with each passing year, I was losing her a little more. Sometimes she was numb, sometimes she thought he would return, sometimes she completely refused to believe he was gone, sometimes she’d just relapse into breaking down and sobbing over his loss all over again.
“He’d want you to go to bed on time and get your rest,” I said quietly, smiling at her. She shook her head.
“No… no, Aaron prefers me waiting for him. Why are you lying?”
“Okay, I’m sorry. Come on, how about you wait upstairs for Dad so I can get this place cleaned?”
“Wait, is that him?” She suddenly perked up, staring into the corner, unseeing.
The loss of a mate... some people recovered, but many weren’t able to survive it. As for Mom, she was a shell of the person I once knew. Losing Dad that night, having to take up that position as Beta, being here for Mom, trying to hold it all together- it wasn’t fucking easy… I know I’m not doing a good job at it.
Then everything with Liam and Raven, losing the last of my closest friends in one go had been another hit, and the fear of losing either forever had messed me up. The fear that if I went after my mate and Liam did something in anger scared me. I kept away from her. I didn’t make the right choices, I know that, but what was I meant to do?
Uncle El had lost his dad, sister, and best friend, then Liam wanted to leave, and he hadn’t wanted anyone to know about our situation. I couldn’t stress his parents out anymore by telling them the truth, so I stayed fucking silent, hoping things would get better. But every message I sent, he refused to acknowledge. Every email, every social media DM, he blocked me from everywhere.
That’s when Robyn had entered my life and we began to connect, soon she became that happy place for me. Even if it didn’t complete me, it took the edge off the gaping hole in my fucking chest.
Mom began sobbing, bringing me out of my thoughts as I pulled her into my arms, rocking her gently.
“Your dad’s not talking to me, he’s not replying, he blocked me from the link!” she sobbed, clinging to me.
“I know… it’s going to be okay,” I whispered, stroking her hair.
When would things become easier?
