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My eyes were ringing, my vision was blurred. A pain so acute, so heavy pushed down on my chest.

I’m having a heart attack.

“Let it happen!” I shouted. “Let me go!”

I screamed for her, begged for her while they dragged me out of the car.

My injuries were kind.

Hers killed her.

I killed her.

I killed her.

I watched my mom die.

And I killed her.

“Let me go! I’m dying, I’m dying! Let me fuckin’ go!”

They didn’t.

They wanted to save me.

They couldn’t save my mom, but they wanted to save me.

A shame that was. A waste of supplies –

To save a man who was already dead.

Chapter Forty-Nine

Dex

My brain was a mess.

I was a goddamn mess.

My wife, now my boy. How could I be so unlucky? So many times I watched Hunter drain a bottle or two in my presence, blaming himself for Leslie’s death when he got nothin’ to do with it.

And I let him.

I let him think he was the cause, the worst son, undeserving of happiness and love. Hell, I trained him that way. I didn’t want no emotions on my lawn, not from him, no. He looked too much like her.

What a sick fuckin’ twisted menace life was.

Couldn’t quench the satisfaction of takin’ my wife, now they were takin’ my son in the exact same way.

God fuckin’ damn life. Damn life and whoever wants to live it.

“Surgery.” I muttered, running on no hours of sleep.

Payton and Marley had been the only ones who stayed back, though Marley had the good graces of falling asleep. Maybe out of exhaustion, but I couldn’t do it. Fuck did I ever wish I could, though.

“Hm?” Payton stirred beside me, falling in and out of her scattered naps.

I surveyed the wall clock that read: 4:09am.

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