Page 92 of 2204 Hunter Lane
But Hunter, noticing someone’s faults doesn’t mean you condemn them. It means you care. Icaredcare about you. Do you hear me? I care about you, and it’s possible that you are capable of caring too. Your mother knows it. And you know it, even if it’s buried so far down you can’t seem to reach it. It’s there. And every time you think about getting behind the wheel, think about this letter. Think about the people who are still alive to tell you they love you.
Please don’t stop yourself from living, even when you don’t feel alive.
P.S: You were my favourite rest stop.
Bambi
???
1:53am and I was banging on Marley’s front door with an active battle in my damn mind.
Noon. She was leaving at noon. She was here. She was still here.
I rapped and rapped until my knuckles were white and swollen, cursing under my breath until the locks clicked and Bambi, bare faced and fuckin’ beautiful, eyed me with shock.
My gaze was glued to those big chocolate spheres, puffy from sleep loss and probably tears. Tears that I forced out of her.
“Hunter –” She whispered, her voice breaking.
“No.” I shot, swallowing hard as I gripped the doorframe. "You're not fuckin’ going anywhere cause of my dumb ass decisions. Unless you really want to, then I’ll make some more to drive you back.”
My mind was racing a mile a minute, taking all her in, acting on the adrenaline and fear of losing something that made me feel alive for one goddamn second in four years.
I was an asshole. I didn’t see anything clearly. I didn’t let my own damn self accept the kindness she gave out to everyone so freely. Everything I’d done to her, all the torment and crudeness… I was sabotaging myself of happiness.
When my mom left the world, I thought she’d bagged up all my contentment, all the joy from my life and she took it with her. But that wasn’t true. I’d starved myself too long. I’d become used to the pleasure of pain and dejection that I let things fall through my fucking fingers time and time again.
But from the second I met Bambi, I’d known she was trouble. Not for the reasons I once believed, but because she could’ve easily split my heart in two and repaired it just the same.
“I’m so sorry.” I admitted, out loud and finally, to my fucking self.
Her chin quivered as she took a step forward, filling me with heat and lust and… fuck!Her!Filling me with her!
“For what?”
The golden specs that dusted her pupils, warm like honey and inviting me in sent a wave of impatience through my veins. Impatience for this moment, letting down all the walls I’d built up just to bring me here… to her.
Fuck the barrier.“For fighting against my heart since I met you.”
I drew her in swiftly, grabbing her waist with two hands and kissed her. I fucking kissed her sweet, soft lips with all my anger and fury and might. All the sensitive parts of me, all the weak parts of me, every single part of me that lived in the shadows… it was hers.
She was hesitant for a moment before she fully gave in, melting in my arms as her lips parted. A soft groan escaped her mouth as I hoisted her puny little Bambi frame and kicked the door shut, securing us in the privacy of her space.
My back hit the door as I held her against me, wrapping both her legs around my middle. Her tongue found mine, twirling in sinful bliss as I sunk my teeth into her bottom lip.
Another gracious fuckin’ moan escaped her when I cupped her ass, retreating breathlessly as I took her in.
“What…” She murmured, panting softly. “Why did you stop?”
I surveyed her face, the freckles across her nose like a starry constellation, the doe like glaze that covered her bright brown eyes and gripped her tighter.
I’d spent countless nights lost, sleeping in different beds, waking up next to all these women, drowning myself in despicable amounts of liquor to feel a rush. It became survival, to chase ecstasy in its purest form. An elation that came from something, somewhere, only I never found it… until now.
“This…” I stuttered, searching for the right words. “This is what I needed all this time. This makes me feel alive.”
I planted a gentle kiss on her lips, leaning my forehead against hers. “You, sweetheart… You make me feel alive.”
A single tear escaped her eye as she wrapped her arms around my neck, just… holding me.
