Page 60 of Paint the Town, Dove
The concierge let us in, provided that we sign an EP of Ryden’s first albumBurrows. “Happy to,” Ryden said. “Am I making it to one of your kids?”
“Uh,” the man’s blush reached his chin, “yeah, yes! To, a –Earl. My – my son!”
Both Ryden and I knew who it was really for, and I found it kind of sweet. Ryden autographed:To Earl, rock never ages.
And that’s how we found ourselves laying down in the centre stage of an empty music hall, our combined thoughts holding hands, our fingers inches apart.
“Are you nervous for Saturday?” I asked, looking up at the dark ceiling.
“Nope.”
“Do you ever get nervous?”
“Of course.”
I glanced at him. “Are you nervous now?”
He looked back. “Why would I be?”
“Because you aren’t saying anything.”
He paused, returning his gaze to the ceiling. “Just want to appreciate the calm before all the noise.”
I moved closer. “Music isn’t noise to you.”
“No, but the people are.” He corrected himself before I could say anything else. “Not my fans, that’s not what I’m talking about. Just… the industry is –”
“You don’t need to say anything.”
He squeezed my hand once. “I know.”
Ryden was the first person to touch me when we were kids, to grab my fingers when it was cold out, to hug me when I needed comfort. Every time he’d let go, I’d feel a link collapse – like a gig bag without its guitar – vacant, missing something that belonged.
“I had fun today,” I admitted, surprised at my sincerity. “It’s been a while.”
He tiltedhis head to meet my eyes. “Slow down, Scar.”
“What?”
He sighed. “Stop running.”
I frowned. “I’m not running.”
“You’re always running.” He stared at me longingly, then centred his head. “We both are.”
I didn’t know what to say.
“Remember when I saw that therapist? Rachel?” he asked.
I nodded, fidgeting with my nails. “Didn’t last long.”
“No,” he scoffed, “but she told me something I’ll never forget. She said, ‘do you ever think you live too much in the past that you relive it in the present?’”
I swallowed. “And what did you say?”
“I laughed, said that’s ridiculous even though I knew I was lying.”
“And what did she say?”
