Page 85 of Paint the Town, Dove
Angry at myself for letting the past effect me, willing myself to find a solution without result.
“How many times have you wished on a split end instead of an eyelash, Scarlett? Even with the best intentions, sometimes, you’re looking in the wrong place for answers.”
Fucking Sue.
Love, happiness, it wasn’t in the cards for people like me.
Why did he even write that damn song? Torment? Torture?
An outlet, Scarlett. That song was a coping mechanism. You have your own.
NO.
We agreed to keep those feelings sealed behind concrete walls. Is that not why we moved totheConcrete Jungle?
Eyes darted around the table uncomfortably. I withdrew into myself, deeper and deeper, drowning. “Did he even show up tonight?”
Tav nodded. “For a time, Red.”
“He was picking fights with everyone.” Polly didn’t look at me as she said this. “The team suggested he should leave. Bad press or whatever they said. So, Morty took him home.”
I glared at her, blood pulsing. “You couldn’t have led with that?”
“We wanted you to have fun,” Zayla tried.
“I can’t have fun knowing he’s fucked, don’t you get that?”
“You walked out today,” Tav scolded, leaning forward. His face was handsome, mature, but aged in a way even I would never understand. “You walked out because the kid wrote a song.”
“It was more than that –”
“I don’t doubt it,” he held up a hand, “and I’ve always stuck my neck out for both of you. No one knows, no one’s goin’ to know what you guys have gone through.
“But whatever’s whirling about in your mind or his, that’s not public consumption –”
“But that’s why I was pissed – why Iampissed, Tav. He gets millions of streams a month, people are going to hear it and link it back to –”
“To what, Red? You pride yourself in no one knowin’ you, so who’s gon’ know?”
I swallowed, veering back.
“Your anger, all that bubblin’ rage, that’s your tack, sweetheart. You are what you say you are, big, bold and free, but even fire dies out eventually.”
That flame within me sizzled in response.
“Go on and see him. He’s got the show of his life tomorrow, and if that boy fucks it all to hell, that’ll haunt him forever.”
Hisdatebeside him turned away, pulling Polly and Zayla into conversation. Maybe she had the good sense to know this moment was way out of her jurisdiction. Or maybe she was just as superficial as the rest of them.
“Listen,” I turned back to Tav, settling into our privacy. “I just needed to cool off, needed to think.”
“We all need to think sometimes.”
“Yeah.”
He leaned back, cupping his drink. “What got in your head?”
“May I?” Glancing at his glass, he pushed it my way with two fingers. I took a sip. Gin. Straight.
