Page 86 of Paint the Town, Dove
Maybe we were both having a night.
“We’ve been through a lot together.” I shook my head. “Sometimes I think we’ve been through everything.”
“Welcome to life, Red.”
“We’re grazing thirty, Tav, we aren’t there yet.”
“It gets worse,” he sipped. “You make the most of things.”
I quirked a brow, looking at the celebration all for Ryden’s legacy. “Haven’t we?”
He stayed quiet for a moment, silent, looking at me intently. “Don’t think you’ve tried it all.”
“What’s left?” I grimaced, stealing his drink. “There’s nothing we haven’t done, no line we haven’t crossed, I mean – except –”
“Except bein’ together.” Tav filled in the blank I couldn’t bring myself to say.
I shooed his drink away without thinking. “I don’t need that stressor in my life. He’s unmanageable at the best of times. I can’t – Iwon’tbreak my own boundaries.”
He sighed. “Why’d you put ‘em there in the first place?”
“What do you mean by that?”
“You know damn well what I mean. Knowin’ each other, growin’ up together. I see it, see…” he twirled his glass, “see what’s there.”
I looked away. “You don’t understand.”
“Don’t need to understand what’s in front of my face.”
I crossed my arms, forcing down the emotion. “Getting old, Tav? Can’t handle the liquor like you used to?”
He simply laughed. “Amore de ferro.”
“What was that?”
“Amore de ferro, iron love.” Tav smiled. “My ol’ buddy from back home, Noah, had a girl like you. Made of that same iron. Hard life, tough to break. He… I mean, soft as they come, had his own shit, though. They worked it out.”
Breathe, Scar.“We’re not the same.”
“Didn’t say you were.”
Silence.
“Just remember, Red. Sometimes you can’t see what’s right in front of you cause you stabbed your own eyes with a knife.”
I pinched my wrist so that I wouldn’t cry, so that all the feeling I’d supressed wouldn’t come rushing in like a tidal wave, drowning me from the inside.
I felt the overwhelming rush to see Ryden, make sure he was okay, take care of him,love him,hate him, everything –all of it–
He made up my heart and all of its pieces.
Broken or whole –
Hewas beating in my chest.
“Enjoy your night, Tav,” I knuckledthe table, slipping out of the booth.
“WE’RE RUNNING SOUNDCHECK AT NINE AM SHARP. GET HIM SOME ELECTROLYTES!” He called over the music.
