Page 108 of Pregnant By the Playboy
I nod.
“Oh, no.” His voice breaks and he hugs me tight. “I knew you’d worry, but I didn’t think you’d assume—”
“Because you’re always here. And then you weren’t.”
He lifts me back into my chair and sits beside me. “Evie had a high fever and was really fussy. She’d never been like this before, and Courtney was very worried and not coping well with it. She managed to make a last-minute appointment with Evie’s doctor and wanted me to go with her, since I was around and Julian is out of town for work. Afterward, I ran to my car and pulled out my phone to call you, and the battery was dead. I thought I’d be able to get here in time if I left right away, so I didn’t look for a charger. Then traffic was terrible and I couldn’t find a parking spot until after your appointment time. Did you have the ultrasound?”
“Not yet. They switched my appointment with someone else’s.” I feel the need to say something light. “Did you know Baby is now as big as a mango? I felt them move for the first time today! Or possibly it was gas.” I can’t laugh, but I want to make him laugh, and he does chuckle. Then I fully register his why-I-was-late story. “Is Evie okay?”
“She has an ear infection. She’ll be fine. Oh, Marissa, I can’t believe I didn’t charge my phone. Dammit. I’m usually better about that. And I’m so sorry about some of the things I said to you on Saturday.”
“It’s okay,” I say. “You were wrong”—he laughs at this—“but I understand why you thought that. Yes, I’ll marry you, Vince. I want to wear your ring.” I touch the empty space on my ring finger.
“You don’t need to. I understand, I was pushing you.”
“But it’s what I want. When I said I couldn’t love you, couldn’t marry you, I was protecting myself, afraid of losing someone again. I didn’t realize what I was doing, but when I thought I lost you...” I release a choked sob. “It hurt so much, even though I’d never told you how I felt.”
“I’m so sorry,” he says again.
“There are never any guarantees, but I know I can’t live life being afraid. If I’d been aware of what I was doing, I would have stopped myself from doing it.” I start patting his pockets, trying to find the ring.
He knows what I’m doing, and he laughs softly. “It’s at home. I’ll get it for you tonight.”
“I shouldn’t have told you that you need to find something else to do with your life right away. Yes, knowing you, you need something just for yourself, but I could have helped you figure it out. It’s not that big of a deal and—”
“No, you were right,” he says, “and I know what I’m going to do.”
“Do you?”
“I want to teach kids about coding. At first I thought I’d start my own organization, but I don’t need to start everything on my own. There are already places doing what I want to do, and there’s one that’s happy to have me work with them and take my money.”
“I think you’ll be great at it.” I hug him tightly. I don’t want to let go. Some part of me is still afraid he’ll evaporate into thin air.
“You know,” he whispers, “I used to worry that no one would love me, but now...”
Oh. I can imagine Vince feeling that way, beneath his swagger. Sure, he acts cocky, but it’s kind of for show. And I told him repeatedly how I didn’t love him—that must have felt like confirmation of his fears. My heart twists.
“I’m here for you,” I say, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “No matter what.”
“Marissa?”
I see Carrie over Vince’s shoulder.
She comes over to us. “You got here after all,” she says to Vince.
“Yeah.”
She turns to me. “Do you need to me kick his ass?”
“No, no. Everything’s okay.”
She smiles at me, and crap, I made her come all this way and I don’t need her here now. In fact, I’d rather spend the time with Vince.
She heads back toward the door.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her. There have been a lot of sorrys lately.
“It’s fine. There’s an accessories shop nearby that I’ve been meaning to check out, but I rarely make it this far north.”
