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“Seriously, man,” Brian says. “I’m worried about you.”

“I’m fine, I promise.”

Brian places his hand on my arm. “You’re acting weird, and it’s been that way for a while. You can’t deny it. You’re not acting like Vince Fong.”

But who’s the Vince Fong that the world sees? A useless playboy with a penthouse and lots of money. A guy who just cares about having fun.

It sort of disgusts me that I’m nothing more than that.

Though it’s not like all my relationships with people are shallow, superficial things. Sure, I goof off around my family, and I’m particularly fond of getting on Julian’s nerves, but that’s just the way I express love sometimes. And I’m utterly enamored with my baby niece. Just the thought that soon I’ll have a baby myself makes me smile.

Me and Marissa and a baby and a little house. The meaning I’ve been missing.

Holden peers at me curiously. “I know what happened. Vince has fallen in love.”

“No, that’s not it,” I say, and it’s not a lie.

I’m very fond of Marissa, it’s true. I think we’d work well together. But it would be an exaggeration to say that I love her. Not yet. I expect I’ll come to love her, though—she’s pretty amazing, after all—and I desperately hope she’ll return my feelings.

Or is it not possible for someone to feel that way about me?

I shove down my doubts.

Brian stares at me as he drums his fingers on the railing.

“Okay, fine,” I say. “Something is up with me. It’s not bad, don’t worry. I have to keep it a secret for now, but I’ll tell you soon, I promise.”

Brian and Holden glance at each other.

“Maybe it’s a new business deal,” Holden says, “and it’s making him a little anxious because he’s been out of the tech world for a while.”

I never want to go back to that life. It nearly destroyed me, and what would be the purpose? Just to give myself something to occupy my time? I have no drive to do it again.

But I don’t feel like saying all that to my friends, so I just shrug.

“Yeah, maybe that’s it,” Brian says. “Still, his actions don’t make sense.”

Now I understand how aggravated Julian must feel when Cedric and I talk about him in his presence. My friends are getting on my nerves, but I just grit my teeth.

Even if I did tell them the truth, would they understand?

I’m so weary of it all.

How many zillion parties have I attended in the past few years? While Julian has been falling in love and getting married and having a child...and also buying a phallic cactus named Joey and learning to bake?

Just then, my phone buzzes, and I smile when I see it’s Marissa.

I’m craving a matcha double fromage cheesecake again.

“Yeah, he’s definitely in love,” Holden says.

“Vince, in love? I hope not.” Brian shakes his head. “No, I’m going for the business deal. He just got good news.”

“Sorry, guys, I have to take off.” I put my hand on Holden’s shoulder. “Good to see you again. You staying in town for a few days?”

“Yep.”

“Come over tomorrow, okay? I’ll be around. There’s a great brunch place that opened up around the corner from me.”