Page 55 of Not Your Valentine
I sit down beside her. “Nothing. I’m fine.”
“You’re grumpy.”
“I’m always grumpy.”
“Not like this.”
I throw up my hands. “What do you want me to say?”
“First of all, I want you to admit that your relationship with Taylor wasn’t real.”
Good thing I wasn’t drinking my tea. I probably would have spit it out.
“You never posted much about your other relationships,” she says, “but with Taylor, there were always pictures. Only a few of the two of you, but you kept mentioning him. When I saw you together, you were more affectionate than you’d normally be with a guy.”
Hmph. I gave myself away by actually acting like I was in love. This nightmare is just getting worse.
She points at me. “I get it now. It was supposed to be fake, but then you developed feeeeelings.”
“Please stop talking.”
“Ah. So I’m right. I have amazing powers of deductive reasoning. Let me message Whitney and Jasmeet and tell them what’s going on.”
I don’t protest because I know it’s inevitable that she’ll tell them. Besides, if my friends were worried about me, they should know I’m alive.
“They’re coming right over,” Esther says.
“What?”
“While we wait for them to arrive, you can tell me what happened.”
“Nope.” I cross my arms. “I’m only telling this story once.” But I do offer her coffee and snacks.
When Jasmeet and Whitney arrive, Whitney gives me a long, tight hug that probably comes close to crushing my internal organs. “I was so worried about you.”
I guess I really should have said something in the group chat. And although I wasn’t planning on having company today, a part of me is glad to see them all. In fact, I’m even relieved that someone figured out my charade. I was scared of that happening, but it’s nice not having to lie anymore.
Once the four of us are squished onto the couch, I explain what happened.
“I was tired of everyone asking when I was going to date again,” I say. “Tired of being pitied because that video went viral. I told everyone not to feel bad for me…”
But they still did. And rather than trying to have a bigger conversation about it—and the fact that I’d sworn off dating—I got a fake boyfriend because it seemed easier.
God, what is wrong with me?
“A fake relationship seemed safe and predictable,” I continue. “I thought I’d be in control of the situation, unlike what happened last Valentine’s Day.”
I explain how Taylor and I went on “dates,” and how I fell in love with him.
“I really had no idea,” Jasmeet says. “Esther might have figured it out, but I thought he was different, and that was a good thing. I thought it meant something.”
“Well, it didn’t,” I mutter. “And now it’s over.”
My friends look at each other.
“What?” I say.
“Did you tell him how you felt?” Whitney asks.
