Page 13 of Four Weddings to Fall in Love
Max
“Max.”Mymothergivesme the smallest of smiles as I take a seat next to her at the restaurant.She’s never been prone to expressing good cheer—I take after her more than my father.A slight smile doesn’t mean she isn’t happy to see me; it’s just her way.
Jon sits down on my other side and slaps my back.The baby of the family, he’s now twenty-eight.Next to Jon is Leo, then Evan.At thirty-two, Evan is the closest in age to me.
My dad reaches for the teapot.“I thought you were bringing Graham?”he says to Evan.
Evan shakes his head.“We broke up.”
“I’m sorry,” Dad says.
“Before you ask, Mom, no, he didn’t hurt me.Just didn’t work out.No need to threaten him with the hedge trimmer.”
Mom hasn’t explicitly threatened anyone with the hedge trimmer before, but back in high school, Leo’s girlfriend left him and immediately started dating his best friend.(I suspect there was some overlap, and I’m sure he does do, but I keep this thought to myself.) When his so-called best friend appeared at the house to try to patch things up, Mom was out in the yard, getting ready to trim the bushes and hedge.Leo’s friend asked to speak to him, and Mom just turned on the hedge trimmer and ignored his request.She wasn’t very close to him, probably a good three or four meters away.
I know this is what happened because Evan and I were there, trying to fix the lawn mower, but ever since, it’s become something of a joke.
Mom never protests and says she wasn’t threatening him.No, I think she enjoys the image, truth be told.
“Well, you know what that means.”Jon slings his arms around me and Leo.“We’re all single for Mirabel’s wedding.”
Dear God.He’s going to tell us that weddings are a great—
“Weddings are a great place to pick up,” he says.
As expected.
“I’m not in the mood for that,” Evan says.
“That’s okay.”Jon says cheerfully.“You can just watch Max embarrass himself.”
My youngest brother is clearly in one of his annoying moods today, as he is about ninety percent of the time.
Evan smiles.“Sounds like a plan.”
Leo says nothing, just smirks.
This is getting out of hand.
“I don’t want you to embarrass yourselftoomuch,” Jon says.“I’ll give you pointers.”
I open my mouth, then hastily close it.I was about to mention that I successfully picked someone up at last weekend’s wedding, but of course it would be foolish to say that out loud.
I’ve thought far too much about Kim in the past week.About what I’d do if given the chance to redeem myself.About how I’d go down on her until she screamed, then do it again.
But truth be told, I don’t actually want the chance to redeem myself.If I did meet Kim in person again, it would be the stuff of nightmares.I’d probably spontaneously combust from shame, so it’s best we don’t meet again—I don’t want my family to have to deal with my untimely demise.My mom isn’t the most affectionate person, but she’d take my death particularly hard.
Jon elbows me.“Are you silent because youdidembarrass yourself last weekend?”
“No,” I say shortly.“And I don’t need pointers.”
“I’ve never seen you flirt with anyone.I’m not sure you know how.”
“I do not flirt with people in your presence.That’s why.”
“You seem crankier than usual,” Evan says.“Is something wrong, Max?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” I say, but I fear that’s not convincing.
